[trimestersdoula]

The gender thread got me thinking. How many of us are on the green team and why have you decided not to find out the gender?

We have decided not to find out the gender again this time. DH and I both love the surprise. My mom would kill me if we found out the gender and let it slip to her too LOL. She likes waiting for the surprise too.

Last pg, DH's mom (who is a major bag), was positive we had had an ultrasound and knew what we were having but just weren't telling her. She made a huge deal over it (pathetic, I know!). I was UP'ing and hadnt been to a doctor so I guess I must have done the u/s myself or something LOL. She was sure we knew it was a boy and didn't want me to have a boy

I guess she got put in her place when the little boy we were suppose to be having came out without the penis LOL.

This time I'd like to tell her we did find out but we aren't telling anyone to see how mad she gets.

 

[osker]

We can't decide! We'd like to be strong and not find out... but we're so excited and curious and really want to know! But then, we don't want to know... you know?

The idea of just finding out at birth is such a thrilling one, but we've already found that we want to pick out the nursery and clothes and such based on gender, which is a huge shock to us as we never though that that would seem important to us! We also want to know because we cannot pick a boy's name for anything! We have the most perfect girl name picked out, have for years, but we can't come up with anything we really even remotely like for a boy.. so if we knew the bumble was going to be a girl we wouldn't have to worry about it anymore... or vice versa, you know?
Ugh. good thing we've got 8 more weeks before then to think about it!

 

[MyFillingQuiver]

Oh, us us us! We are!

We have found out with each one. We are truly blessed so far with 3 boys and 2 girls..it truly doesn't matter which we've been given this time....most of our gear (which is minimal...cloth dipes, Moby, Bjorn, a stroller, car seat and baby nursery stuff I have for either sex from before!) is gender neutral since we anticipated having both sexes.

We probably won't have any u/s. Unless there is a medical reason, we won't be doing it.

The baby will be born in Summer, so it's super easy to just wear a t-shirt and cloth dipe until we establish a wardrobe.

I just want that experience this time around! There is nothing wrong with finding out, and I had my reasons why I did in the past.....our 4th was supposed to be a surprise, but I saw the u/s at 20 weeks and saw the three line sign and knew...

 

[colleen2851]

With our daughter, we didn't find out. It was really annoying to hear from family how they NEEDED to know. This time, I think we're going to find out. Though we're going to keep the sex to ourselves.

One thing that was nice about NOT finding out, was including in our birth plan that WE wanted to "discover" the sex. So the MW and nurses knew not to blurt out "It's a ..." My husband was the one to tell me she was a girl!

 

[lindsayb]

Go Team Green, ladies!

This is our first child and I just really want it to be a surprise at birth. Depending on which day you ask me, I'm convinced it will be a girl...or a boy.

But overall, I'm pretty sure it will be a girl. I just love the idea of that wonderful surprise on our big day!

We will be getting a U/S at around 20 weeks--but I will request that no weenies or hoo-hoos be revealed!

I'm a worry-wart, so I just want that U/S to reassure me--and I want to see baby again--this time, actually looking like a baby!

 

[BlackSheepPDX]

We didn't find out last time, and though I'm very curious about whether my inklings are right, we won't find out this time either. Last time, our US tech was GREAT about it, and told us that if we didn't want to know, she wouldn't even look, and therefore nobody would know, so it couldn't possibly accidentally slip out.

As for why? I feel incredibly strongly about not forcing gender roles and stereotypes on anyone, let alone infants. The pink for girls/blue for boys/never shall the two be mixed thing makes me really angry, honestly. Not that I mind that you might choose them some of the time, but I get sick and tired of people acting like there's something wrong with me because my daughter isn't in head to toe pink. Particularly since she was cue ball bald for her first two years, they got all bent if they didn't know she was a girl straight off the bat.

And yes, it was super cool, when I got to take my daughter in my arms for the first time, determine she was a girl, and introduce her to my husband by her name.

 

[miss_nikki]

After finding out with both my girls, I decided not to last time and I found it to be more exciting. I don't know why. There were a lot of things different about my birth with DS and my birth with my girls, but I felt as though waiting to find out was one thing that helped with our bonding. So I'm planning to be a part of team green this time as well.

 

[Dahlea]

Lol sounds like my mil trimestersdoula. We found out last time because my husband really wanted to but we aren't finding out this time. No reap reason, just for the surprise. We don't need any baby stuff so we don't "need" to find out for that reason.

 

[trimestersdoula]

Yep, same here Autumn. We have all the baby stuff we need and all of our newborn stuff is gender neutral since we didn't find out last time. We have plenty of newborn-3 months clothing for this little one. After that, s/he can start wearing gender specifics clothing.

FWIW, I dress Calli in pink a LOT. I used to HATE pink, but since having a little girl, I love putting her in pink clothing. Anyways, she still gets confused for a little boy even with all the pink clothes and pigtails in her hair :S

 

[lindsayb]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackSheepPDX As for why? I feel incredibly strongly about not forcing gender roles and stereotypes on anyone, let alone infants. The pink for girls/blue for boys/never shall the two be mixed thing makes me really angry, honestly. Not that I mind that you might choose them some of the time, but I get sick and tired of people acting like there's something wrong with me because my daughter isn't in head to toe pink. Particularly since she was cue ball bald for her first two years, they got all bent if they didn't know she was a girl straight off the bat.

Thank you for saying this. After spending a lot of time on other more mainstream preggo sites, it's so nice to hear someone who shares this view. I get so annoyed when people ask me, "Are you going to find out the GENDER of the baby?" I'm like, "the baby won't figure out his/her GENDER for quite some time, and as for the SEX--no, we're waiting!" Gender and sex are not interchangable; gender is learned, sex is biological; and like you, I feel very strongly about not enforcing traditional gender roles on an infant...nor any child, for that matter. If I have a boy, I will offer him dolls and kitchen sets, and if I have a girl, she may play with as many trucks as she likes!

 

[limette]

We won't be finding out only because dh doesn't want to. I absolutely want to find out this time (3rd baby). The surprise never ended up being a big deal for me, but it's important to dh.

I want another girl and it has nothing to do with pink or blue, toy kitchen or toy trucks. Frankly I want a Sophie and although we break all the other gender rules, I doubt I can get away with naming a boy that. It also doesn't help that I can't come up with any boy names that I like, not a one.

So we're team green...bleh!

 

[McK.E]

We have a boy and a girl already and I don't mind who comes next. I loved that dd was a surprise. We didn't choose a name for her before hand either and we never had an ultrasound. I remember finding out she was a girl at the moment of her birth and it didn't feel very significant. But a day later, when I woke up next to her and she was suddenly so real and so beautiful, it began to sink in that I had a daughter. We named her later in the day and I remember holding her in my arms and saying her name aloud and thinking how beautiful a name it was for our beautiful girl. I wouldn't trade the experiences of that day for anything, not even buying the baby girl clothes in advance.

 

[laughymama]

Us!!

Our midwife does not do ultrasounds and we don't really see the point in doing one without any medical reason so we're just not finding out.

I think if she did do one...we'd probably cave. But since she doesn't even offer it, it'll be easier to just let this one be a surprise.

My family is going to be at a loss, I think, but I figure they can put their big girl panties on and buy gender neutral stuff and get over it.

I'm excited about not knowing. I told DH though that I'm sure at the VERY end I'll be begging him to take me to one of the mall places to find out.

 

[rightkindofme]

I don't find out. I avoid unnecessary ultrasounds and last I checked finding out sex isn't actually necessary.

 

[Mama Mko]

We won't be finding out. We didn't find out with our first two kids either.

 

[smerkin]

We are green teamers!!

We found out with #1 and it was fun but now we don't want to know.
We have all the stuff we need, plus tons of extras, already so we don't have any real reason for wanting to find out. We just thought it would be fun to be suprised!

 

[SteelerMom]

I am getting pressure from everyone, but I am holding steadfast to my desire to find out at birth. I knew both of my previous pregnancies and always wondered what it would be like to have that surprise. Maybe that little something that would make the last 3 cm go a little easier if you know what I mean!

 

[onemomma]

We're waiting for the surprise!! Mostly it just feels right to me, but also I don't trust the 99% accuracy. I've known of 3 women who were told wrong. They had names picked out, nurseries, clothes all ready for a child they never got to love and hold. They totally had to grieve that loss. Crazy drama for new Mom hormones, and not fair to the baby that did get born.

 

[trimestersdoula]

I competely agree with you onemomma. I had a close friend that was told she was having a boy at two different ultrasounds. She painted the nursery in their new house blue, bought all boy clothes and were calling the baby by his name before it was even born. She ended up having a cesarean and when her husband announced that it was a girl, she said "no its not." He had to explain to her on the operating table that he wasn't lieing. They had a tough time bonding because of the cesarean already plus she had to grieve the loss of her little boy. She was happy to have her baby and happy that it was a girl, but it was not at all the baby that she had been dreaming about and thinking about and thought she had.

 

[jorona]

We're not finding out. We did with DS and now that we've had that experience we're trying it the other way around. It's driving those around us crazy but for me that's part of the fun!