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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
ok some times I think its because I am pregnant and my dd who is 3.5 tests and tests as she is to do so at this age but man I am losing my cool alot...I dont like raising my voice but sometimes she ignores I dont want you to ...touch that, take that go near the street...etc...and her fits are getting worse...any one else going through this...any mommy mantras or uplifting ideas...
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I have found that whispering works better than raising my voice. But, the best way to get my girls' attention and make sure they hear me is to touch them. Instead of saying from across the room "don't touch that, Don't Touch That, DON'T TOUCH THAT", I walk up, touch them, and say, "you may not touch that. Where is your doll?"
 

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I too feel your pain. I feel like such a horrible person, but it seems like everything ds does is driving me absolutely batty lately. I try being calm, talking nicely, etc, but when it's the third or fourth time and he's completely ignored my attempts to not yell, I lose it. It doesn't help that he's completely unable/unwilling to watch out and routinely hurts me. Then, I don't even manage to stay calm for a couple of times, I immediately yell. Usually just "OW, watch what you're doing!", but I still feel bad.

Hope someone has some ideas.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I really am trying to talk softly but she will just look at me ans say ...yes I am going to or just blatently do the opposite...I am feeling so bad. I too worry that she will start resenting her brother and babe to be because they dont get the mad mom voice...so I too need advice...mammas I feel your pain right back...But at least we see that this is not the good path and are activly trying other methods...what they are yet I dont know :LOL
 

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I'm in the same boat -- pregnant and cranky as hell and very short tempered. It doesn't help that DS is just starting to have hardcore tantrums. I find myself yelling or swearing a lot -- not always at him, just as often at the dog, one of the cats, or just at no one in particular (if I drop something or can't find something, etc.). Anger management has always been very hard for me in general, so remembering to take a step back, take a deep breath, and calm down as much as possible is extremely challenging these days.

And I let a lot of things slide. Not things like DS climbing up on the piano, or playing with the gas jets on the stove, that could really be dangerous, but the little stuff that ordinarily I would try to stop, like, oh, say, grabbing the just-folded laundry and throwing it out of the laundry basket. Yeah, it makes more work for me, but it's easier to redo it than to face the meltdown when I stop DS, kwim? I'm picking my battles.


Good luck, mamas!
~Nick
 

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Okay, you've got a 3.5 and an almost 1 and another on the way and you wonder why you get a little cranky sometimes? Breathe deep and remind yourself you are a GODDESS of love and caring. When you were childless could you have pictured doing all the things you do without even thinking about it, 24/7?
That said, half years are tough and you may be being pushed more than usual.
Let the house go somewhat. Take some time somehow for yourself. take a bubble bath. with your children if neccesary.

Betsy
 

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peacefulmama -- your post made me think about how down i was on myself just a week ago. i have one that just turned 3 and a 10 week old. while still pg, and even worse since dd2 was born, i've lost it with dd1.

after feeling really bad about myself last week for not being able to communicate with dd1 in a way that will cause her to listen to me and follow my instructions, my sweet dh reminded me that dd1 is only 3 and it's part of her "job description" as a 3-yr-old to push the limits of the boundaries we've set for her. and it's not my fault.

he also assured me there are other moms who feel the way i do. at the time i was feeling very emotional (sleep deprived, postpartum hormonal, newborn lack of structure, etc.) and didn't believe him. surely, i'm the *only* one, right? silly me. of course i'm not the only one.

all that is to say, you're in good company. there are some other good mamas here who struggle with not yelling at their kids. sometimes knowing i'm not alone makes it easier.
 

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I just respect the fact that you are able to keep your cool "most times" with 2 kiddos. I struggle everyday with my two and I can't even imagine being preggo at the same time!
Just remeber every day is a new day. We are learning as our children, so just take each day at a time, each moment as it comes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
do you ever feel that when you yell they will remember it forever...my family was very emotionally harsh.....I worry so..but i feel better because my own family would never say sorry or admit fault...but i will say Lily i am sorry I am not mad at you...etc.
 

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Hey glad to hear I'm not the only one losing it! My husband freaks out when I go downstairs and scream but honestly I have no idea what else to do. I bought into this stay-at-home Mom thing and I totally feel like it's been really great, she's really sociable and smart. On the other hand, I know statistically that most of you out there are like me - husband is working extra long hours to make ends meet because of the choices we've made. Sometimes I go two or three days with no break, no car, and no patience - ! I'm currently trying to organize a good old bartering system with other Moms at church - just to get three hours in a row break once a week. I find if I'm tired in the least the day is just endless... and I just have one child !!! ; )

Thanks all above for the advice, it really helps.
 

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sometimes i do worry that my yelling will cause some emotional scarring. i hope it doesn't. i always apologize, tell dd1 what what i did was wrong, ask her to forgive me, etc. my hope is that will make a difference. what would be best for her, and her sister as she gets older, is for me to stop raising my voice or yelling all together, though. and i know that.

i'm working to identify what triggers the yelling and eliminate those triggers. ex: yesterday was cutting dd1's hair. i'd been wanting to do it for weeks. dd2 was in the swing where she's usually happy and content. dd1 kept moving her head making it hard for me to cut. dd2 started crying. i tried to finish up really quick. dd1 kept moving her head. dd2's crying was escalating. i kept trying to hurry. dd1 moving head more. dd2 crying more. ugh!! i lost it. took dd1 to her room. told her to stay there until i came to get her. got dd2 out of the swing, nursed her. tried to get her to go to sleep. she wouldn't. but she was happier. got dd1 back out of her room and finished the haircut. as soon as dd2 started fussing i should have stopped the haircut and taken care of what she needed. i wouldn't have been in a hurry, would have been more tolerant of dd1 moving her head around, etc. hearing dd2 crying is a trigger for me. it makes me feel overwhelmed/overstimulated.
 
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