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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
there is not a day that i dont worry that this baby is not for the long term... i never worried about labour or thought about how it would be cos i never thought i would get this far as morbid as it sounds! and now im standing at almost 30 weeks and im still so scared! i wont let myself enjoy this pregnancy and now i worry that i wont let myself enjoy the baby when it comes cos ill be too nervous!<br>
help me!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">, have you tried meditation? I mean taking 15 minutes out of your day to sit in a quiet place and breath deeply and clear your mind. If you make it a habit, eventually you'll breath deep automatically and when anxiety rears it's ugly head, you will automatically breath it out of you. Make a mantra, like "my baby is strong and healthy, and I am strong and healthy" When I was pregnant with #3 I would have such anxiety that it would make my heart race, so I thought I was having a heart attack, but when the heart attack's didn't happen, after a few times of waiting for them, I started doing Yoga and doing meditating afterwards (around 20 weeks). My anxiety decreased tremendously and I went on to have a pleasant pregnancy and birth. Worrying about things that might or might not happen is like making up a fantasy, and though it's not tangible, you believe that it is real. Instead, make up a story that is good, a healthy pregnancy, a healthy baby, and you will believe that it is true. I had two m/c's before this pregnancy, so I started this one off with a little anxiety and then I started meditating again, and it's helped. I hope this helps you.
 

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I second SamuraiMom's advice on meditation. I also had a mc before this pregnancy. I am almost 29 weeks now and still sometimes think that I could come out of this without a live baby. But I counter that thought with something positive about my pregnancy, like how strong he is getting, or how much love we already have for this little boy.<br><br>
In the first trimester I did a meditation for transitions (I practice Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan) and it helped me come to peace with my mc and find joy in this pregnancy.<br><br>
I can't do that meditation anymore as it is one where you lay on your belly! But my husband and i do a simple seated meditation every morning for our heart center (chakra). It really keeps us supportive of each other and I find myself easy going and not too irritable.<br><br>
At the very least you can practice long deep breathing as mentioned by SamuraiMom and that will get lots of oxygen to you and baby. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone with these feelings. I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow, and I still have this feeling that this pregnancy won't result in a baby. All through the first trimester I was convinced I would have a miscarriage any day, and then all through the second trimester I thought I would have some weird complication that would end things. Now, I have this odd paranoia that there won't be a live baby at the end of this. I don't know why I'm having these feelings, since I haven't had any miscarriages before and there is no reason to suspect there is anything wrong with this pregnancy.<br><br>
I think in my case it's that I want this baby so badly, and I just fear that by wanting it so much, it won't happen. Yes, I have issues. (Abusive childhood, with lots of chaos and things not working out in the end--I think that plays a huge role for me.)<br><br>
Anyway, I am trying to stay centered, and keep myself on the positive.<br><br>
I just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one dealing with really negative feelings.<br><br>
Good luck
 

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A miracle is happening. Inside your body, a new person is growing, and soon that person will be out and meet you and grow. I've buried one child, came terrifyingly close to it with another on a number of occasions, and the only thing I know is:<br>
Life is precious. Don't ever take it for granted, but live and love every moment as it comes.
 

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I'm also battling some of these same fears, but trying really hard not to overwhelm me or dominate my thoughts. We chose not to have any mid-pregnancy ultrasounds, and I'm now second-guessing myself, worrying that something drastic could be wrong, and wouldn't I rather know now? I accidentally ate some goat cheese ravioli last night, and started worrying about listeriosis...or I start worrying as I drive home, what if, what if, what if...<br><br>
Seeing the # of responses, and that we are all right around 30 weeks, I'm thinking this must be a natural time for us to start worrying about actually meeting our babes - it's starting to become more real, and we (first timers, anyways) are starting to accumulate all this new stuff that we've never had before, and think about integrating this new babe into our lives...it's scary, but it's scarier to think that it might not come to pass. All we can do is - as Helen said - live, love, laugh - and take the best care of ourselves and our babes as we can, and hope that this time around is a good one for each of us.<br><br>
That said - I've decided that I'll wash & prep baby clothes, and have everything ready, but not in the house, or at least keep it all down in the basement until we are actually bringing baby home. Superstition, I guess. Fear of heartbreak.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
thank you all so much for your responses and for sharing your personal feelings with me. It makes me feel like im not alone and has been very comforting. i guess your right, we are all anxious i havent even boght anything for this babe yet, just reserved som essential things and told the shop to keep it there till this baby is home and healthy.<br>
im going to try some meditation.. thanks for that advice.<br>
x
 
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