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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Annoying!!?? At least mine is... We have her over for dinner or lunch at least once a week and she invariably offers some kind of commentary about my cooking. Mumblings like... Wow, we seem to always catch you on meatloaf night... Well I like *some* kinds of hummus... Or three times out of five she'll ostensibly wait until a time when I'm out of ear/eye shot and spit something out or make a comment about doneness. It's all for show, IMO. And heaven forbid she should ever cook for us or help with the dishes. Can pregnancy be a time when I stop being gracious, because snapping sounds like a whole lot of fun right about now. Thanks for listening to a petty rant!
 

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Stop having her over to eat. Have her over after dinner or go out somewhere to eat with her. The FIRST time someone pulled some crap like spitting out food or complaining to someone else that it wasn't prepared properly would be the LAST time they ate a meal under my roof!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lynsage</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15461813"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Stop having her over to eat. Have her over after dinner or go out somewhere to eat with her. The FIRST time someone pulled some crap like spitting out food or complaining to someone else that it wasn't prepared properly would be the LAST time they ate a meal under my roof!</div>
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Indeed. I might be inclined to add I would say something. I'm sorry my cooking isn't to your liking, perhaps you would like to take us all out instead? With a 'gracious' smile.
 

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DDCC - man thank you for making me appreciate my MIL more lol...<br><br>
that said, if my MIL felt the need to insult my cooking (and quite frankly ME, by doing so) she would not be welcome for dinner.
 

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oh Joe'smama, I SOOOOOOOOO understand! My mother in law gave me a book called "How to Have an Affair Proof Marriage" for Christmas<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"> She is my son's only Grandmother, but she has 9 other grandchildren, so she isn't overly excited about him and sees him maybe 5 times a year. It's so sad. For easter she gave all the children (including my son) a box of cookies that came with icing etc to decorate (bought after Easter lol-they were on sale-no wonder she's a millionaire lol). Anyway, my son is allergic to soy and dairy, and she gave him cookies that have soy and dairy in them. My husband said "But he can't even eat these" and she replied "He can decorate them and not eat them". Ummm, yeah, how many 2 1/2 year olds would be happy in that situation. I could go on and on..........So you aren't alone! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Oh now that's *really* bad, Jodie! I'm sorry, and I'm shaking my head and laughing right along (hopefully) with you. I love MIL stories, send them my way any time!<br><br>
Cutting out time my MIL wants to spend with my son/DH or excluding her from mealtimes (it's not like we extend a formal dinner invitation, more like she's just still over when 6 o'clock rolls around) doesn't really mesh with my values. I'll just continue to gossip about her! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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I agree with the PPs...the dinner invitations would end quickly. Have dinner at their house or out somewhere.<br><br>
My MIL doesn't criticize my cooking, but my FIL does. He <i>never</i> offers to help out in the kitchen, but when he comes over he sits in the dining room where he can see the entire kitchen and criticizes the way I'm cooking. On DS's 1st birthday, I was stressed out about getting everything done in time for the party. I was making cupcakes carefully by using a measuring cup to spoon the batter into the liners (they cook more evenly if they have the same amount of batter!). His ever so helpful comment was: "You could never be a professional chef. You cook too slow!!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"> The most polite thing I could say (calmly) at that moment was "that was a very rude thing to say." My IL's still talk about that incident to this day 1.5 years later, but <i>I'm</i> the rude and cruel one in the story. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">
 

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yikes.. im sorry for all of you with nightmare MIL's.. im pretty lucky, mine is great. she lives far away but shen she come sto visit we always have a great time. I wish it could be like that for everyone.
 

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I can't count the number of times my MIL has told me I am going to have " a vagina like an elephant" from giving birth vaginally. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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Oh man, you all have some stories to tell! I love my MIL to pieces - she is really great. I wish some of your MILs weren't so annoying....I guess you wish that too.
 

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Can I join the 'have quite some MIL stories' club too? I'm trying to figure out how in the hell to keep my MIL out of the room when I deliver! She was there at Orion's and Fiona's births and both times ushered in her dh/son before I've delivered the placenta or covered up! I mean holy moly batman!
 

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Can I just say I'm REALLY glad my MIL still lives a couple thousand miles away? She's considering moving to only about 3 hours away, and it makes me rather nervous! (Thankfully, she does NOT like the city we live in. Can't say I mind, even if that is rather offensive as it's my home and always has been!)<br><br>
She is just super critical (I guess, occasionally, she's better... her last visit wasn't horrible), and I married her only child. So, she got stuck with me (not her choice, I'm sure) and my crazy (but not rude) family. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I am a rotten housekeeper (so is her son!), don't cook everything from scratch (thankfully DH loves to cook and is an excellent one!), and have health issues that mean I get worn out very easily. I am NOT one to stand at the sink for an hour after dinner, but she'll go in and do the dishes while DH and I have collapsed on the couch... And it's not simply out of the goodness of her heart. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"> Seriously, they can wait until tomorrow!<br><br>
I think the big thing with her is I feel I have to really assert myself has Queen Bee of this house. She was used to it being just her and DH for quite a few years, so she'll sometimes adopt that role, rather than as guest in MY house, kwim? Anyway...<br><br>
Thankfully, she has really come around to the boys (her only grandchildren, obviously), and they enjoy her. I have never been the one to announce a pregnancy to her, though. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag"> This time, I had my eldest DS tell her on the phone, and then he handed it to DH. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I get around any comments or snideness on my cooking by just not cooking for her. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I'm so sorry!! Wish I had a nice mother in law but that didn't happen. The best thing about living in Texas is that my mother in law is in another state and currently in another country. She is the most negative person I know. Any chance you could do every other week or once a month instead? Maybe Dh can visit with out you? We started this last time we went back to California. It was awesome. I got a day off and DH took our son to visit the grandparents.
 

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I'd make meatloaf EVERY TIME she came over lol<br><br>
I can't stand my MIL ~ she lives thousands of miles away and still drives us crazy. The only time things were good was when I called her a nasty name and she didn't call us for a few months. - IMO she had it coming .... hubby and I were both on the phone with her at his step mom's house and she flat out told him he never should have married me - he should have married his ex Shannon - I called her and F ing "b"ad word & we both hung up. She called back and his step mom answered the phone and told her she really messed up & we didn't want to talk to her for awhile.
 

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I agree with pp about not having her over to eat. Meet at a restaurant (that she picks- that way if the service or food is terrible she can be gently reminded that it was her choice). Or meet her at her house. I won't get started about my MIL because the story is looong and would take up too much time. Short and simple: The way she treated me when my DS was born and my parenting choices I will never forgive her, and has caused a serious rift in our relationship. I moved from Portland to Washington to put more distance between us, & whenever she invites us for food or something, I always just send DH and DS.
 

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Not sure if I am luckier or not. My ILs disowned my dh on our wedding day. They couldn't get over the ethnic differences. No ILs to deal with for a blissful 6 years of marriage. But---we will see them for the first time on Friday at a family wedding and I am still white---ugggghhhh!
 
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