[MaryLang]

I just found out yesterday that my baby stopped growing at 6wks, and I was to be 8 wks yesterday. In my heart I knew something was wrong, I wasn't very sick. I knew this was going to happen, I was so nervous going in to the OB office for my first U/S. But when he said "well, I see a baby, but I don't see a heart beat", and I saw that little bean just laying there, moving only with the bumps of the U/S wand, my heart sank. I think I was doing a lot better yesterday. Why am I this upset, I have 3 beautiful babies, and this was to be my 4th. We were told after our first losses 6 yrs ago that we would never be able to have kids, so why can't I just be happy with my 3? With my other losses it was all over with by the time I got into the doctors office, I never saw a baby. This time I saw him in there, and my body won't just start this already. I still wake up a bit nauseous, I hate this. My 21 mnth old weaned herself about two weeks after I found out, so I don't even have my "baby" to go back to. Why does anybody have to go through this? Why can't everybody either be pregnant or not pregnant? Why is this such a guessing game? I know so many others have lost so much farther along. This just sucks.

 

[apmama2myboo]

Mary, I am so sad to hear this, that is just terrible. A loss is a loss, regardless of 8 weeks or 40, if you ask me. There are different degrees you may feel with respect to hope and bonding with the baby, i think, but the loss is still there and for that I am sorry. Nothing I can say will make it better or any easier to take, but please see the strength inside yourself, because you tried again, and trying again after a loss is an INCREDIBLE thing to do, and you're awesome just for that. Please take care of yourself and let those around you do the same.

 

[skybluepink02]

I know how you feel. I started miscarrying my 6 week pregnancy yesterday. It's devastating. Give your baby lots of cuddles. She's still your baby, even not nursing. Maybe when you feel better physically, you can go do something super fun and silly with your kids that you don't usually do. Give yourself time to grieve too. See if someone will take your kids for an afternoon so you can sit in bed and cry, without worrying about how it will affect them.<br><br><br>
I'm thinking about you mama. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[MaryLang]

Thanks. I just keep going through ups and downs all day and its not even noon.<br>
I just talked to my mom and I know I'm just overly sensitive right now. She just never says the right things, and now I'm more upset.

 

[skybluepink02]

You're not overly sensitive. You're in pain. My mom's been trying to help too, but really making things worse. I've found she's happier and I'm happier if I give her specific things to do. I asked her to tell others in the family so I didn't have to. I asked her to make a couple of freezer meals for us, so we wouldn't have to eat fast food again. She's happier having something concrete she can do for us and I'm happy because she's less "hovering" if she has something to do.

 

[DreamWeaver]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">!!<br>
There is no "better" way to handle it. You are feeling exactly what you need to be feeling.<br>
There is this story I read:<br>
a man attends funeral of colleague's child. In attempt to comfort, he says to colleague, "at least you have 9 other living children." The reply, "I have ten fingers and I want each and every one of them."<br>
A loss is a loss. Even if you have 10 other living children, it does not make the loss any less.

 

[Amydoula]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> It is so hard.