[loving-my-babies]

my dd is 3 (turned 3 in april) and she is just potty-trained. we did it very gradually, never pushing her, and she ocasionally has accidents (usually when she forgets she's not wearing a diaper anymore)
but the other day, I got together with a friend of mine, and we took our kids to the museum. she has a 3 year old too (and 2 older kids) and her 3-y-o was potty trained, when she said something like "do you wanna go potty?" to her dd, I said something like "oh she's poty-trained, that's great" and she said something like "oh yes, she's been since she was 2". I felt really bad, maybe a little embarrased because, maybe they are supposed to potty-train that early? I felt weird, kinda like I was being lazy. my dd is potty-trained now, but ocasionally when we go out and have to run around and don't have a place to take her to the potty, we'll put a pull-up on.

I felt so weird, why do some kids potty-train at 2, and some later? (like my dd) my dd has always been ahead developmentally so I don't see why it took her longer. Maybe other mamas push it too early? my MIL trained her dd's at 18 mo.

 

[Cranberry]

I think every child is different and will potty-learn when he/she is ready, just as they do other things when they are developmentally ready (walking, eating solids, etc.).

My ds was nearly 4 when he learned to use the potty. We just let him do it at his own pace. I think you are right to let your dd do it gradually without pushing her! Good for you!

 

[loving-my-babies]

yeah, but what about all these kids that are PT by age 2? it has to mean they are ready, otherwise they just wouldln't train, right?

 

[sunnmama]

Sure, some are ready at 2. Others are ready at 4. To me, potty learning is a single developmental milestone that actually includes several milestones: the physiological readiness to recognize the need to eliminate--and to control it!, the psychological readiness to overcome fear of the potty and give up the security of diapers, the communication skills, etc. Some kids need more time than others. But it isn't a contest! No shame in learning later, no huge advantage to learning earlier.

 

[Lisalee2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunnmama Sure, some are ready at 2. Others are ready at 4. To me, potty learning is a single developmental milestone that actually includes several milestones: the physiological readiness to recognize the need to eliminate--and to control it!, the psychological readiness to overcome fear of the potty and give up the security of diapers, the communication skills, etc. Some kids need more time than others. But it isn't a contest! No shame in learning later, no huge advantage to learning earlier.

 

[LoveBeads]

I think you're missing the real reason her child potty trained earlier - didn't you say that she has older siblings? I find that children with older siblings generally (I said "generally") potty train earlier than first kids.

Three is the norm from my experience with my friends, except for the ones who had older sibs. And even a few of them didn't train until 3!

So, in answer to your question, yes they are ready but they are probably also prompted to do it by the urge to keep up with their older sibs.

 

[Evergreen]

I wouldn't really call 3 very late in terms of potty learning, espessially these days. I have seen diapers large enough to fit 5 year olds and pullups designed with 6 and 7 year olds in mind. Most kids I know are finished learning around 3 years old.

 

[Nikki Christina]

Kay also turned 3 in april & is potty training
she started on her own right after her 3rd b-day..
she still has aidents.. but normally has pretty good days

 

[ja mama]

Kids learn when they are ready. Some kids walk early or talk early, some simply figure out the pottying aspect of their body early.

 

[Alkenny]

My oldest potty "learned" on her own at 18 months. I sat the potty out for her to play with and she just started going. My older DS didn't daytime learn until he was 3 and was almost 5 before he "got it" at night.

My niece just turned 4 in March and her brother turned 2 yesterday and they've BOTH learned in the last couple of months together.

 

[Aura_Kitten]

that's not late.

my son will be four in just over a month, and he just learned a month or two ago.

Kids learn when they are ready.

 

[nikirj]

Does it have anything to do with genetics? Just out of curiousity?

My parents used the same approach we did - wait until the kids are ready, and let them guide things - and for them as well as for us, nobody took more than a week before they were doing it all on their own (well, ok, not it ALL, but saying they needed to go and not having accidents). My parents said all of us (there are 4 of us) were between 2 and 2.5 when this happened - both of mine did it right after they turned 2. I don't know about DH because he and BIL were ec'd and reliably diaperless at 9 mo, but that process is different...

Anyway, just wondering if this has anything to do with it, since my mom's best friend has 5 kids, uses the same potty-training method, and all hers were closer to 4 when it happened for them.

 

[momsgotmilk4two]

I don't think 3 is late at all. My 2.5 yr old is learning now and to me that's early because of how late my 4 yr old learned. He is still in diapers at naptime, bedtime and to poop in and he was 4 in June. I don't think it has anything to do with intelligence. People would be shocked if they knew he was still pooping in diapers, but it's not something I usually share because I know the types of reactions I'll get

 

[HaveWool~Will Felt]

I agree with all of you...potty training is sooooo different for each child.
I have 2 birth children and 4 foster children.
My oldest birth child, a boy, was potty trained at 2 1/2....MIRACLE....
My youngest child, also a boy, is still in the process of potty training and he turned 3 in April. We finally have the #1 down and #2, well that is another story...if I find him hiding...then I can pick him up and get him the toilet...but boy if I don't see him...END OF STORY....

: Now both of my birth children wore cloth diapers their entire time in diapers...never used pull ups...so I am not sure about the theory regarding "if in cloth they potty train sooner..." Maybe that is true for some...just not me!!

My 4 foster children are teenagers....so potty training wasn't a real issue... :LOL
However...2 of my teenage boys were bed-wetters until they were 14...yah I typed that one correct.... !!!!!!!!!!!!!14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And one of them still takes a nasal spray for bed wetting....
That is a complete different thread...

Blessings to all you mama's!!!

 

[momsgotmilk4two]

Yeah, I don't know about that kids in cd's train faster theory. I have a whole lot of people I know who would blow that one out of the water, including my kids! They wore nothing but cloth and did not train early at all. We will see how long it takes the 2.5 yr old, but I am not real pushy with it so it may take awhile. I think it's one of those things were if you push too hard they don't want anything to do with it (at least my kids wouldn't). We tried all sorts of parent led tactics with the 4 yr old to get him to poop in the potty and nothing was sucessful. He is just going to have to do it for himself. One of these days!

 

[anythingelse]

sometimes it is the parents who are potty trained early, not the child

df did that with her dd at 18 mths her dd was using the toilet all day but my df sat her on it all the time regularly through the day, dd did not ask to go and she had a lot of accidents
df says her dd was trained by 2 and IMHO she was 3 yrs when she started asking and stopped peeing her pants regularly

 

[lilyka]

I think most kids learn (from what I have observed) between the start of thier second year and the end of thier third. so your dd is no where near behind by any stretch.

 

[tessamami]

It seems to me that keeping kids in diapers or pull-ups extends this potty training thing. I guess you could still say that the parents are trained, not the kids, but bottom line is that when potty training kids you must take them to the potty often. Keeping them in diapers or pull-ups is a convenience to the parent, not the child. Now don't flame me, I know that diapers and training pants are sometimes a practical and necessary part of urban and suburban living.

That said, the preschool teachers and DDs school did not allow diapers or pullups and a combination of factors led to potty training success: peer pressure (positive), gentle support, routine and most obviously: potty training readiness. My DD, potty trained since about the age of 2, still did have a couple of "accidents" at preschool, nonetheless. . .so take "trained for years" with a grain of salt. No such thing as perfect.

 

[PM]

I agree with the pull-ups thing.

But kids have their reasons for hanging onto the dipes. My dd's was that, just under 2, her 3 year-old buddy got rid of the dipes and went off to "maternelle," school for 3 year-olds in France. Well, that pretty much convinced her, at the prime age, that she was never going to give up dipes or else it would be off to school for her. This idea was stuck firmly in her head for about a year and a half.

Three isn't late. Not sure how that got into your head.

Mine gave up dipes at two months shy of 4.

 

[CajunMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tessamami It seems to me that keeping kids in diapers or pull-ups extends this potty training thing. I guess you could still say that the parents are trained, not the kids, but bottom line is that when potty training kids you must take them to the potty often. Keeping them in diapers or pull-ups is a convenience to the parent, not the child.

ITA!!! Both my neice (7 1/2) and nephew (5) are in pull ups at night- STILL. MIL says that it is common, but I really don't believe her. Niece is going to be 8 soon!! and she has never had a dry night- I talked to her about it the last time she stayed with us and she said she doesn't have to get up in the night to go to the bathroom 'cuz she can go in her pullup

Sorry to hijack the thread

:

I don't think that 3 is late- I would say that sounds like normal to me. Don't worry mama!