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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So with this 20/20 thing, and reading a few posts about it, i was sincearly wondering why you chose to bf beyond the age of 2. Are there benefits to it beyond BFing past a year? Whats your explanation and reasoning for it to others? Do you think it will be an issue with your LOs when they get older?

I unfortunately had to stop bfing dd at 6 months due to medical "necessity" so i have no idea what it is like to wean a baby, or any clue as to how that works, and i often wonder when i would have stopped.....

anyways....thanks in advace!
 

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well, for me there is no explanation or reasoning to others, since it's not their decision. What do you mean by issue to my LO's? As far as why I chose to nurse past two...I didn't really, I just chose not to do mother led weaning. Nursing has never bothered me, so why make my ds stop when it's so important to him?
 

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I didnt see a reason to stop at a certain age. I figured my kids would let me know when they where done and for the most part they did both weaned at 2y7m partly because I just couldnt take it any more.

No matter how long you bfed for there are ALWAYS benifits the main one being immunities passed from mother to child. There are other benifits as well like cancer reduction/prevention not only in mother but for the child as well.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mamabohl View Post
well, for me there is no explanation or reasoning to others, since it's not their decision. What do you mean by issue to my LO's? As far as why I chose to nurse past two...I didn't really, I just chose not to do mother led weaning. Nursing has never bothered me, so why make my ds stop when it's so important to him?

Well i guess i mean do you think its a big deal if they remember BFing....i know that alot of society thinks that it could be crossing boundaries with your LOs to BF past a certain point, so what is your outlook on that issue. Like that if you have a son that you BF past lets say 2....that they will be damaged in some way, or that they will be mamas boys.....you all know the things i am talking about, i am sure you have all heard it 1 too many times!

I hope that i am not coming off as snarky or rude, i 100% sincerely am interested in your outlook, and i commend most of you mamas for being able to do what your instincts are telling you and not giving into societies rules and regulations!
 

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Providing nutrition via the breast and causing damage to a child just dosnt register in my brain really.
:
 

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I haven't weaned because I'm just allowing her to lead the way. I didn't decide when she learned to sit up, when she learned to walk, when she learned to use the potty, etc. I just don't see nursing as any different.

I prefer to think I'm screwing her up in much bigger ways than just extended breastfeeding so I'm sure she'll have more than enough to cover in therapy someday!
(Or hopefully she'll just see it as normal and do the same when she's a mama)
 

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I never intentionally weaned anybody. We kept on nursing until the child was ready to stop. I would never wean anybody just because the child reached a certain age- in fact I can't imagine ever doing an intentional mother-led weaning unless there was a medical reason for it.

DD2 weaned at 14mo, one month after introducing bottles because I was newly separated, stressed, etc. and needed a bit of a break. If I'd had MDC back then, I probably could have worked through it and kept her nursing longer (either by never offering bottles in the first place through better support earlier, or offering bottles less often when she slowed down on nursing, or only offering smaller bottles- neither of which occured to me at the time to do.)

DD1 weaned at 30mo, one month after her little sister weaned. That was very much a mutual weaning- both of us were ready.

DS weaned at 4 years, 3 months old.

The only "issues" I ever had was some rude glares by strangers when I nursed DD1 while pg or after DD2 was born. If anybody ever asked me why I was "still nursing" a toddler or preschooler I'd simply give them a blank look that said "why on earth wouldn't I nurse a child this young?" and/or say "we're not ready to wean yet". But really, it didn't come up. I did face some subtle pressure for weaning when DS was about a year old, but neither one of us was ready to wean so we didn't. Then it reached a point where everybody just assumed he was already weaned, or knew us and had gotten used to the idea.

DS was enrolled in preschool a year and a half before he weaned. I don't think any of his classmates knew he nursed, and if they did, they didn't care. It simply didn't come up or cause him any social problems whatsoever.

When you look at the big picture, 2yos are still babies. Even 4yos are still babies in many ways. Yes, they're way bigger than 6mos and can seem "huge" when your only experience is nursing a tiny, immoble infant. But now, having a teenager, an almost teenager (both of whom are well into puberty) and my "baby" being 7, I can look at friends' 4yos and easily see how a child that age could still need to nurse. I look at a 2yo or 2.5yo and I just see "baby", and it seems rather odd to me that there are some kids that small who are already weaned- and perfectly natural for a child that young to still use a bottle or pacifier if they're not nursing.
 

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One of the women I work with tells me how her grown children still talk about how they used to nurse. They remember there was a special chair they sat in. It doesn't seem to have been an issue as they got over. The same with my son... it's a special time for him. When we nightweaned, we replaced it with snuggling and that was okay for him.
 

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I have a 7.5 year old son who nursed until he was a month past his third birthday. He does remember breastfeeding, but doesn't dwell on it. He mostly remembers the feelings associated with it -- comfort, love, closeness. I have no problem with him carrying those feelings into his childhood. And he's not a Momma's boy at all. He prefers hanging with hsi dad these days. I continued breastfeeding as long as my children had the need because there is not a compelling reason not to. I didn't decide ahead of time when to stop using the sling, car seat, high chair, bouncy seat, etc. I stopped using them when they outgrew the need.
 

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I nurse past two because she is a baby and she needs the nutrition. She still nurses several times a day and several times at night. It doesn't bother me for the most part and I could care less what anyone else thinks.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by tinyblackdot View Post
So with this 20/20 thing, and reading a few posts about it, i was sincearly wondering why you chose to bf beyond the age of 2. Are there benefits to it beyond BFing past a year? Whats your explanation and reasoning for it to others? Do you think it will be an issue with your LOs when they get older?
We didn't wean just because DS hit age 2 because there was no valid reason to. He wasn't close to stopping, still nursed 4-8 times a day, so quitting cold turkey would be ridiculous. It still was a nice quiet calming time and still helped keep illness away and gave great balanced nutrients. We did stop gradually after 2.5 years when he was more ready and I was tired of it.

I never had to explain myself to anyone. I did sometimes mention he nursed a little still, nobody pried. At that age he only asked to nurse in private at quiet times anyway. I think if he remembers nursing later on it'll be very positive, a fond comforting memory and it will help combat confusing and demeaning signals in our society about breasts: he'll remember their primary purpose.
 

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2yrs is the MINIMUM. The benefits don't stop.

Dd clearly still needs to nurse. She still gets nutrition and comfort and immunities.

Why would I force her to wean?

It is NORMAL for humans to wean around 4 yrs. So there will be some that wean a year or so before or after...
Why would that be unhealthy?

Personally I find it preposterous the things that our society tries to make into issues.

-Angela
 

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I have a 22 month old who is not vaccinated. I need to supplement his body with proper nutrition & breastmilk to help him thrive. When he turns 2, we will MAYBE start to wean a bit...but I don't think we'll make an issue out of it.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by tinyblackdot View Post
Well i guess i mean do you think its a big deal if they remember BFing....i know that alot of society thinks that it could be crossing boundaries with your LOs to BF past a certain point, so what is your outlook on that issue. Like that if you have a son that you BF past lets say 2....that they will be damaged in some way, or that they will be mamas boys.....you all know the things i am talking about, i am sure you have all heard it 1 too many times!

I
I'm nursing a two year old boy. Don't see it damaging him in any way, and he's very much a "daddy's boy" (most kids this age, that I've seen anyway, still want Mom most of the time...my DS is the exact opposite, and was as an infant too). I hope that he will continue to nurse long enough to have positive memories from it....if not, ok. There's never been anything negative attached to it whatsoever, I don't see how it could damage him. There are plenty of nutritional benefits...for us, DS will often go several days w/out eating more than a bite or two of food, other days he'll eat only bananas, or only bread...so nursing helps to fill in the nutritional gaps when he's not eating so well.

Quote:
We didn't wean just because DS hit age 2 because there was no valid reason to. He wasn't close to stopping
Same here. He loves nursing, it's good for him, it's good for mom, it's an excellent parenting tool....why would we make it into a fight to stop doing something that works so well?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by artgoddess View Post
Um...cause he wanted to nurse?
tee hee...yeah. If I told DD we weren't going to nurse anymore at two (back then) she would have looked at me like I had lost my mind! She is a very happy nurser still (at 3.5) and I don't intend to wean her anytime soon. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
 

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my ds is almost 3 and still nursing A LOT. I never imagined nursing this long and have had pressure from family and friends (including a couple of the "do you think it's psychologically damaging to nurse this long". My ds LOVES nursing and I think forcing him to stop would be damaging to him. Also, as has already been mentioned in pp-- ds seems so young to me-- sure, he's not an infant by any stretch of the imagination but he's still a "baby".

Zoe, mama to Thomas 1/06
 

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So with this 20/20 thing, and reading a few posts about it, i was sincearly wondering why you chose to bf beyond the age of 2. When I said I was going to nurse my baby (newborn) I didn't have any intention of nursing this long (2.5 years and tandem for 8 months). But it hasn't been the right time to wean yet. Beyond nutrition, the breast is a comfort to my son. Children his age and other use pacifiers, thumbs, stuffed animal, blankies, etc. I think a mother/breast is a much better comfort than those things. And we do use a pacifier.

Are there benefits to it beyond BFing past a year? Bonding, nutrition, I could go on and on. Breast milk is made for babies and children. If my kids are sick I don't have to worry about them getting dehydrated because even if they won't drink from a cup or eat anything they will always nurse.

Whats your explanation and reasoning for it to others? I don't feel the need to explain it to others and it doesn't come up. Sure, there have been some people who have thought I was weird or whatever but we all live life differently.

Do you think it will be an issue with your LOs when they get older? I'm guessing you mean will the children have psychological problems or something? No. And research shows that children 3.5 years and beyond have no negative effects from breastfeeding beyond infancy. Check out the AAP statement on breastfeeding.
 

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After looking into it and doing a little anthropological/biological reading, I discovered that it's not species-normal for us to wean our children so early. Modern industrial culture is kind of an abberation. Human children are *supposed* to nurse for years, not months.

I admit, when I started nursing, I though the idea of nursing a toddler/preschooler was very weird. But I could recognize that as my own cultural baggage and not let it affect my parenting decisions.

Of course, now that my son is two, the idea of arbitrarily cutting him off seems very strange. They grow up one day at a time, it's not strange at all to continue to nurse him.
 
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