why do i do this to myself?-- overdue and really anxious!

687 Views 16 Replies 10 Participants Last post by MFuglei, Oct 5, 2003

anabean

Discussion Starter · Oct 4, 2003

3

not sure why i'm even posting this. but i just had the most terrible half hour-- yes just a half hour almost sends me into hysterics.

i'm 41weeks and 2days. i had a NST on thursday and everything looks great. so why, oh why do i freak out so much about baby movements??

i woke up this morning at 9 and realized i hadn't felt the baby since after dinner last night (dinner was at about 10:30, and i went to bed at around 1am). i freaked out. most likely she did move when i was watching a movie and i just don't remember. anyway, i almost started crying. ate a banana, drank some water and whithin 15 mins i felt her. what a relief!!

now, i realize this was probably a gross over reaction on my part. i just can't help but worry so much. i'm paying attention all the time and it's driving me crazy. i'm such a worrier and a better-be-ready-for-the-worst-case-scenario kind of person, which in this case is just too much to handle.

my philosophy always is "better be pleasantly surprised than disappointed"-- it just DOES NOT work for pregnancy. i need too keep positive, or i'll drive myself crazy.

and the worst part is that i feel alone. i don't want to tell anyone about it cause i know they'll start bugging me about getting induced (which is looking better and better by the day).

*sigh*
sorry for the vent. i just needed to write it down in an effort to calm myself down a bit. thanks for reading.

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1 - 17 of 17 Posts

pamamidwife

· #2 · Oct 4, 2003

Considering we live in a society where the common belief is that all babies will spontaneously combust at 40 weeks exactly, I don't think your anxiety is uncommon.

{{Hugs}} perhaps doing some affirmations about how wise and strong your body and your baby are might help. Journaling? Getting a pedicure? Watching a silly, funny movie? Making a belly mask?

Jish

· #3 · Oct 4, 2003

2

I think much like you do. I've very much a worst case scenerio person also. Better a good surprise than a bad one.

:

If you want to try to stay busy, you can come to my house. I have tons of stuff that needs to be done. I could keep you occupied for days.

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Viola

· #4 · Oct 4, 2003

Hey, 41 weeks and 1 day here, so right behind you.

The baby doesn't move a whole lot, but then sometimes she is all over the place, like last night. Wow, surprises me. I know what you mean about the worry. With my first I worried all the time, but this time I mostly avoided it. Getting towards the end, however, I have had more anxiety than before, but today I've been feeling pretty calm.

Actually, today I was feeling really tired, sick and out of it. I had some strong cramping in my back that I thought might have been a contraction, but then I had a nice poop, ate some food and got a nap. I finally feel human now, and am going to go out and get a few things done while I still have time. I'm figuring it has to be in the next couple of days.

Hang in there and try not to worry!

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mamaley

· #5 · Oct 4, 2003

I'm generally a "don't worry" kind of person, but I've been finding myself doing this too. It really surprises me actually, because I always thought that it's no big deal to go past your edd, that baby will come when ready, and that the edd doesn't really mean anything--however, now that i'm past it I worry about this stuff more than ever. I can't really explain why. Maybe because I'm feeling more anxious overall, and also because i have people asking me all the time if my midwife is worried (well, most assume that i have a doctor, but whatever) and if there's anything they (the midwife) can do. This really annoys me, but i try to be understanding.

Viola

· #6 · Oct 5, 2003

Well, part of what causes worry I find is that if I were still with my OB, he would have definitely tried to induce me by now. At least I think so, since induction was mentioned to me at my last appointment 2 days before my due date, and he said he'd see what he could do to get things started.

The midwife told me that if by 2 weeks past my EDD I still haven't had my baby, I will definitely have to think of doing some things to help get the process started.

I worry that if something is wrong with this baby, or goes wrong with the birth, people will blame me for not being induced. If I seriously thought that going past my due date would be such a big deal, I'd have agreed to be induced. So I feel resentful that some people seem to think that I shouldn't be waiting.

The silly thing that I worry about is that somehow my baby has a serious birth defect that I don't know about but will soon discover.

anabean

Discussion Starter · #7 · Oct 5, 2003

3

thanks everyone. i needed to hear this stuff.

i am pretty sure about my due date, though. well, i should say i'm sure about the conception date.

the baby has been moving fine all day. i just don't know what happened this morning. i just started thinking about how i would feel if something happened to her and i just flipped. i would feel so guilty, and like an irresponsible mother.

sometimes i think about birth defects too, but since i've had the afp, nuchal translucency, and a couple more ultrasounds, i feel pretty good about it.

i just want to have this baby already!!

i did mention what happened to my mom and she said, "that's how it'll be when she's here, you'll be watching her like a hawk, making sure she's breathing, she's at the right temperature, etc, etc, after she's born, so get used to it."

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Viola

· #8 · Oct 5, 2003

I'm pretty sure of my conception date too. January 1st. I'm pretty sure I had ovulated by the time we had sex that evening, which made me think we might not get pregnant that month since we hadn't had sex for awhile before conception. The month before, I had sex the day after ovulation and didn't get pregnant, but it was probably over 24 hours later. The first two times I got pregnant, I had sex in the days leading up to ovulation.

According to my LMP, my conception date should be January 3rd, but I ovulated before that and I know I only had sex on the 1st. The funny thing was when I had my u/s at 18 weeks, the date they gave matched my own and not the "calendar" dates.

In my family it seems like everyone was always past their due date. I actually knew almost nothing about preterm labor when I was pregnant with my first, and I figured that most women gave birth a week or two after their due dates. I was suprised when a lot of the April moms I was posting with turned out to be March moms.

It seems like it never used to be a big deal to go late, but in recent years induction has become all the rage.

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mamaley

· #9 · Oct 5, 2003

Amy and Ana, I know exactly what you mean--if something were to happen to her, and it's because if I didn't induce (not that it's even come up yet, but it won't be long if she doesn't come) or if people thought it was because i didn't induce, then i would feel so guilty. I know it sounds ridiculous, and it's not enough to make me do it at all, but the thought is still there.

Viola

· #10 · Oct 5, 2003

2

Mamaley, you still haven't had that baby yet? Wow, you had your son at 38 weeks--what is the deal?

Feel free to

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anabean

Discussion Starter · #11 · Oct 5, 2003

3

amy, and mamaley, will we be the 3 last september mamas to go? i haven't checked, but i think we're the only ones left, no?

*sigh*
this old queen song has been on my mind all day:
I'm going slightly mad
I'm going slightly mad
It finally happened - happened
It finally happened - ooh oh
It finally happened
I'm slightly mad
Oh dear

:LOL

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Viola

· #12 · Oct 5, 2003

Funny you should say that, Ana, because I was just coming on here to check. I remember there being quite a few more late September moms than we've heard birth announcements for. OK, off to check and I'll post on the other thread.

earthmamafor3

· #13 · Oct 5, 2003

Just jumping in to chime in as one of the few last Sept mamas who is also overdue and had the exact same freak out last week, I am with you ladies!! My midwives used two methods to calculate my due date so according to one I am two weeks overdue and according to another I am only one week overdue. Technically none of us is overdue until 42 weeks according to the traditional wheel method (nagels) cuz it is based on your LMP NOT conception date. IT has the built in two week thing that docs ignore and freak out about.
I have guilt too about pushing limits, I am having a homewaterbirth after TWO cesareans at age 38 and no testing of any kind this whole pregnancy! But I KNOW what I know and trust my connection to this baby and that tells me he is fine and healthy and gonna come when he is ready and NOT before!!! If I get any vibes something is wrong I will take action, but not before.
I think the stress of everyone outside our little cocoons and the general social tides of birth right now are so conservative and pull us out of our bodies into the "worse case scenario" I personally believe that what we give our energy to is what we manifest and create so......it is vital to give energy to health and safety and believe it to be so. Reject all that worry and all will be well. We will all have our babies soon, and rejoice together that we trusted and waited!
Blessings
Deb

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5796

· #14 · Oct 5, 2003

anabean,
I see you are in SF... here's my suggestion. Go to a foot reflexologist on Sunday. There should be one in SF...maybe attached to a spa?
and get foot reflexology.
There are pressure points associated with pregnancy and delivery.I had to have an induction and I went and got reflexology to make my induction go easier.
I say give it a shot and maybe db will come out shortly after....(well, maybe within 24 hours.)

just a thought. Plus it feels delicious.

good luck.

angela&avery

· #15 · Oct 5, 2003

no, im still here too...due Sept 30, and still waiting.....

oceanbaby

· #16 · Oct 5, 2003

Quote:

my philosophy always is "better be pleasantly surprised than disappointed

Just wanted to say that this is the attitude that I tend to have about everything as well. I've been thinking a lot about it lately because it tends to make me really stressed out, and ultimately, I feel like it makes me a negative person, because I'm always preparing for the worst.

Just wanted to let you know that I understand how you feel about this - I was the exact same way with my first pregnancy, and probably will be with the next one as well.

MFuglei

· #17 · Oct 5, 2003

Hi ladies! I just wanted to send hugs and say good luck to you -- whenever those babies decide to come!

I conceived my DD on the pill, thus her due date was discovered via an 8 week ultrasound. . . I delivered two weeks late - less than 6 hours before a scheduled induction! My joke to the OB was that he scared her out. . .

Seriously, though - I know your pain and I wish you all luck. . .

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