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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've posted before, so I'll spare all the little details, but my DS and I have had a rough start with feeding. Going from him definitely not getting enough to me pumping to supplement to finding out he's just a lazy nurser. Well, I was pumping so much to supplement that I finally just kind of gave in, gave myself a break, and stopped putting us both through so much stress. He gets 100% breastmilk (in fact, the few times we've tried formula he totally rejects it, my smart boy...although I feel a lot less militant about it than I did before when I said "not a drop of formula, ever"), but I am almost exclusively pumping. And that is going great. My supply is good. I have a good 60 ounces frozen already in the 2 1/2 weeks we've been at this. I know he's eating well, he's thriving, and when it seems like he wants it, I let him nurse. He really only seems to get comfort from it, and that's wonderful, although I'm hoping one day he'll just start nursing like a pro and get some food...But I am finally feeling like we've hit a groove. I admit I'm pretty anal, and after the scary start with the weight loss and no dirty diapers, it's kind of nice to know for sure how much he's eating and that I'm meeting all of his needs. It's great that after losing so much weight, my 8lb 6oz baby was up to 10lb 6oz by his 3 week check up. It's great to watch my husband feed him too. It's actually just as nice to have him stare into my eyes while he's taking a bottle as it is to have him stare into my eyes while he's nursing. We're pretty happy and healthy around here.<br><br>
So, why do I feel so guilty that it's working out so well? Why do I feel so bad that I don't want to put us through the stress of forcing the nursing issue farther. Why do I feel guilty for not trying even harder when I went through visits with 5 LCs, finger feeding, supplemental nursers, both of us crying through nursing sessions, and then having to supplement and then pump. It was a lot. And pumping isn't easy, but it's worth it. So why do I feel like I gave up too easily? I mean, despite all of this I do actually feel pretty proud that we're going to hit 1 month next week and I feel like I'm giving my child the best food there is, and I finally feel like I can do this for the long term. There were a lot of moments where I wanted to give up completely...
 

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Seems as though you are giving yourself a less than perfect grade for providing perfect milk in a less than perfect fashion. Not too long ago there was a post from a mom who was in a similar predicament with a baby who only nursed in the early am and then had bottled bm all day. When he was 6 months old, he suddenly decided to nurse full time. Was seemed both surprised and delighted with the change.<br>
Your "nursing strike" seemed to have happened very early and if you keep encouraging baby to nurse whenever he is willing,you too should be able to overcome this temporary glitch in the system. Remember the skin-to skin contact that is important and feed him next to your breast so he knows milk comes from Mom. Co-bath and co-nap together too as baby's often like to nurse in the tub and while nappping. Taking you time to totally connect will let your irkey feelings mellow a bit. You are providing the best as best you can...
 

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Don't feel guilty mama, you are doing a GREAT job!!<br><br>
Hang in there, it DOES DOES DOES get easier and he might surprise you and take off with nursing anyday now.<br><br>
Just know, by breastfeeding you are increasing his IQ, good health<br>
so the opposite is, if you were formula feeding you would be increasing his chances of: cancer (many kinds), obesity later in life, asthma, crohns disease, SIDS, allergies, heartdisease, hypertension, many more diseases=not small change, eh????<br><br>
Keep at it, it will become so second nature you will look back and not believe how hard it once was, and it will fly by so the time you struggled will seem tiny!!!<br><br>
Good for you!
 

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Wait a minute, you are pumping full time and you feel guilty?<br><br>
Don't feel guilty! You are doing a great thing for him.<br><br>
Thank God it's actually working and your baby is gaining!
 

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Boy, do I know how you feel. Boy oh boy. I am having waves of flashbacks just reading your post. PM me if you want to talk more, but I just wanted to say this - you do what you need to do. If all you can do right now is pump, then that is absolutely fantastic. It is a committment, and it is not easy, but it was also the decision that I had to make for awhile. You just give your milk to your baby, and ESPECIALLY if he wants to nurse for comfort or whatever, let him, and if you both feel like trying to latch, then try. You just evaluate it moment by moment and do what feels right to you. If you have milk, then the door is open. My son latched for the first time when he was 4 months old, in the bathtub. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch">: You never know when it might happen, when it might be the right time. If you haven't already, visit <a href="http://www.kellymom.com" target="_blank">www.kellymom.com</a>, they have TONS of good information regarding getting babies to take the breast later in life. And if you decide that pumping is the way to go for you right now, or forever, then I have BTDT, and you can do it too. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me, like I said. Just embrace that you feel happy with the current situation - if the time ever comes when you want to change it, then you can try something different. But you do whatever works for you now. You are giving your baby a wonderful gift. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Let me say, I Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate pumping, what a PIA. Anyone who will do it regularly with commitment is like, a saint.<br>
also, you are BFing your baby, on your terms, good for you. Enjoy a stressfree time and continue to offer the breast when the time seems right.
 

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Your commitment to giving your child your breastmilk is commendable! I had to nurse, pump, supplement and sometimes w/ formula when dd was brand new. Pumping is very hard. Keep up the good work! I don't think I would have been able to pump full time!<br><br>
Good luck!<br>
Sus
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks everyone! I truly appreciate the support! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
DS happily latched on for about 30 minutes earlier and he just looked so peaceful. He didn't get enough to eat, but I could tell he was enjoying it while he tried and that just made my day. I'm getting a cold...I want him to get all the protection he can...I guess we'll stay in bed all day tommorrow and try try try <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Just wanted to say that your ds has the same birthday as my ds <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> The thought of pumping <i>at all</i> right now has me in awe! Well done to you - I'm sure it will work out with your commitment. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 
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