[BoobyJuice]

I know I sound totally anti-social, and that's besically how I feel. Why, when you're pregnant, do total stranger think they can start random conversations with you?

Tuesday I went to the grocery store with one of my sons. The woman checking me out goes on and on about how she hopes for my sake this one is a girl. Good thing my other son was with my husband - can't imagine what she would have said then.

Wednesday I went to a chiropractor for the first time. Never seen them before. The receptionist asks if they've done an us to find out how big the baby is. When I told her I hadn't had an us, I had to hear all about how her last baby was 10lb 14 oz and blah, blah, blah.

I went to the dentist yesterday to get my teeth cleaned. So I'm sitting there, stuck in a chair, mouth full of stuff, and the dental hygenist spends the entire time telling me all this - uggh - crap. When she'd take all the stuff out of my mouth I could manage a brief response. When I said we weren't going to find out what the sex was I had to hear how she knew one person who's us was wrong about the sex and that girl had better be a tomgirl because all the stuff they had was for a boy. (The gender stereotypes and expectations is why we don't find out!) She wanted to know how far apart my kids would be in school. When I said I was homeschooling she told me she knew people who did that and their kids were up with everyone academically but socially were very far behind. Ugggh!

I know, I know, these are minor things by people who don't mean any harm. I'm just really grumpy this pregnancy and it's driving me nuts. To stand there with the polite look on my face while they ramble is difficult. But it seems worthless to try to explain any of my positions to total strangers - hell I usually can't explain them to my friends.

OK rant over. Thank you.

 

[Kiki Runs]

Hmmmm....I talk to pg women, but I don't think (hope) I'm like those people you're complaining about. I'm just so glad to see a nice round belly, sometimes I can't help myself and have to talk to the mama.

Of course, in my case, if the mama mentions an U/S, I usually try to remind her that they're not accurate predictors of size, and that a ten-lb baby is NOT something to freak out and schedule a c/s about. Or I ask if she's planning to bf and show her DS (still bfing).

I tend to want to make sure mamas know all their options, and I guess I could see how it would be annoying for you. But I'd rather a mama get ticked off at me then come home and do some good research than see her just blindly obey an OB.

Sorry folks are showing their ignorance. It can be frustrating, especially to hear them say things that are just plain WRONG!

Kinsey

 

[BoobyJuice]

I don't mean to sound so grumpy. If people came up and talked to me about the pregnancy I'd probably enjoy it. It's just all the very mainstream people putting all their assumptions on me. They don't actually want to talk, as in dialog.

I've heard way too much

• so is it a boy or a girl?
• you must want a girl
• are you going to get one of those pictures of the baby(3D ultrasound)?
• don't you just love epidurals?
• when my baby was born I was in labor for 28, 35, 192 hours . . . it was terrible
• ("When are you due?" "Beginning of Nov") Oh my, you are huge!
• Are you sure it isn't twins?

Kelsey, I know what you mean though. When you see those bellies you just have to say something. but I'm sure you say something positive or supportive. I also usually try to point out - gently - that their due date means the baby will be born around that time, or that us aren't always right with the sex so maybe they'll have a surprise.

Guess I'm just a grump!

 

[LizaBear]

I continually hear

• Is it a boy or girl (don't know - but my son wants puppies)
• When are you due (end of August)
• WOW (regarding previous response)
• Any chance of twins ?
• You're having the baby WHERE ?

It get tiring, but I figure people are just trying to make small talk, not be outright rude, so I just go with it. Who knows - saying that we're having a homebirth just might open the eyes of some stranger out there to all the unneccesary interventions there are in a hospital or something.

 

[plantmommy]

Yay! I'm so glad I'm not the only one getting "Are you sure it's only one/not twins?"!

Have you come up with some kind of retort? So far I just say yes, I'm sure, but I can see myself wanting to come back with something more if it keeps up!

 

[BoobyJuice]

Quote:

Have you come up with some kind of retort?

I usually say something bland, like that's all we know about or I always carry big. Last pregnancy I always told my husband I was going to, but never did, flip them off and say, "One, just one".

(Just using my middle finger to demonstrate the number one - Hey your middle finger is one finger) Tempting at times, but I actually never did it!

 

[plantmommy]

rotflmao!!!

 

[BabyOsMommy]

That's pretty funny about the middle finger... I'd get hauled into HR for sure, but funny, none the same...

At only 18 weeks, I'm getting most of those questions, and they started 3 o 4 weeks ago. I have these conversations about 3-4 times a day each because I work in a place with 400 people:

Miscellaneous Person:"When do you find out what you're having?"
Me:"Um, we're pretty sure it's a baby, already"

Miscellaneous Person: "So, when are you due?"
Me: "Mid-November."
Miscellaneous Person: "Are you sure you're right on you're dates? Maybe you're just having twins...how big was your first one?"
Me: "10lbs, 10ounces".
Miscellaneous Person: "Holy Crap! Did you deliver THAT NATURALLY?!?"
Me: "If you mean vaginally, then yes."
Miscellaneous Person: can't respond, just stares like I'm a freak or something.

Miscellaneous Person: "First or second?"
Me: "Second"
Miscellaneous Person: "Do you already have a boy or girl?"
Me: "Boy"
Miscellaneous Person: So you must be hoping for a girl, then?
Me: "Actually, we really want whatever baby God decides to give us..."

ARG!!! It was worth it to type all that out just to get it out. I know that people mean well, but really, would you tell a non pregnant person that they're huge? Like in a "OMG you're HUGE!!!" tone of voice? Cause I know I wouldn't...

 

[Bearsmama]

Boobyjuice-Although I generally don't mind talking to strangers, there's something about being preggers that makes people think they can say anything they want to you.

I had someone who barely knew me say, "I hope for your sake it's not another boy". What an awful thing to say! I think she was commenting on DS's energy level... ugh!

 

[BoobyJuice]

Well I do feel better that I'm not the only one!

Quote:

Miscellaneous Person:"When do you find out what you're having?" Me:"Um, we're pretty sure it's a baby, already"

That's so funny! That's what my husband always says - "It's a baby" People look at him so funny.

I've actually thought of getting a cheap tshirt made that would say "Yes, it's only one" right across my belly.

 

[Jennifer H]

I tend to talk to strangers all the time in grocery stores, at the park, in line at the movies. I just love to strike up conversations. Pregnant women just have a natural thing to start talking about. I try to ask them questions rather than tell them my own story and I guess some of those questions could be annoying she is in a lousy mood. No judgement is meant by the questions, but the questions available are limited (is this your first? Oh, is you son/daughter excited to be a big brother/sister? Do you know what you are having? (so many people do it seems a natural question). I delivered at Kaiser, where are you delivering?). My questions are just questions.

Making total strangers smile just by looking at me is one of my favorite parts about being pregnant!!

 

[cottonwood]

Annette, I know it must be so hard to deal with all day long, but your conversations made me laugh! I mean, people really are funny.

I don't get *enough* questions. I love it when people come up with that mainstream stuff so I can smugly shoot something un-mainstream right back at them. :LOL

 

[BabyOsMommy]

The attention can be nice sometimes, I'll admit. I'm not as focused on this pregnancy as I was with ds, so talking to people about it is cool.

I just don't get why people are so silly. I actually did get a t-shirt made for ds that said:

November 15
It's not twins
I know I'm huge
I'm feeling fine today, thank you.

Yes, I had the same due date with ds, so I can just use that one again. It got me more attention than if I wasn't wearing it, though.

 

[BoobyJuice]

:LOL

 

[mehndi mama]

The questions used to annoy me.....but now I have enough children (hence experience) to use the opportunity to shock people.
People tell me all the time I still look like a teenager, so when someone asks me about my pregnancy, it was usually "Is this your first?" I'd smile sweetly and say "No, it's my 5th." Their eyes would bug out, and they'd usually say something about my having my hands full, so I'd assure them that the kids start to take over once they're old enough, so it's not really any harder.
I've actually answered the question "Do you know what you're having?" with "Well, we *think* it's a litter of puppies. But kittens might be nice, too!" The person who asked didn't think it was very funny.

Those of you who answer the "Do you know what it is?" question with "a baby"....do you get the serious "No, I meant boy or girl" answers back? YES, I KNOW what you meant, you moron!!!!!

 

[Bearsmama]

Mehndi-Where I used to work I got the "what are you having?" question all the time. I used to say "Monkey". And I remember one time a woman getting really offended with ME b/c of this comment! Hey, it's my body! And there really aren't many options-it's only boy/girl/monkey!

 

[BoobyJuice]

Actually, Bearsmama, I alredy have two monkey!

Quote:

Those of you who answer the "Do you know what it is?" question with "a baby"....do you get the serious "No, I meant boy or girl" answers back? YES, I KNOW what you meant, you moron!!!!!

Yup, they look at you like you're an idiot.

 

[Mummoth]

I don't get too bothered by questions, but I just found out the other day that my mom does (or rather, by the responses) She's going to be at the homebirth of our second child (as she was for our first) I think people try to commisserate with her about adult children making different choices than they would have or something? Maybe they ask if she tried to talk us out of it or something... because her response is that she was nervous about homebirth with our first baby, but that I did alot of reading about it, and she trusts my decision.

 

[loving-my-babies]

my babe was born already (I still lurk on the pg boards often, I used to come here all the time when I was pg) but I can totally relate. I hated when people came to me, I don't know why, and now I hate it even more. I hate it when they touch (or try to, anyway, they never able to get that far to actually touch him) it's just annoying. I just want to tell them to go have their own baby and touch it and kiss it all they want! but mine... it's just MINE!

Good luck on your pregnancies! I already miss it. and my ds is only almost 4 months old!

 

[Wabi Sabi]

I guess I'm one of those annoying people who like to strike up conversations with random people!

Really, I'm sure that all of those people on the OP's examples were just trying to be nice! I mean, how do you think you'd feel if the dental hygenist were just silent throughout the entire cleaning? Don't they ALL chat with you, to make you relax and feel more comfortable if nothing else? I can only speak for myself, but I'd kinda be thinking to myself "Hmm, she was weird. Wouldn't say a darned thing to me. Hmpf, how rude!"

As for discussing the pregnancy, its just the most obvious thing to chat about when you've got a big, beautiful belly! When people say/ask things about the hospital, the glory of the epidural, blah blah blah I like to smile sweetly and say something like, "Actually, I'll be having my baby at home with a midwife. Its not for everyone, but it is really the best choice for me." I like having the opportunity to make people think about things maybe in a slightly different way that they've never even considered before...

Anyhow, you may be annoyed but please remember that in MOST cases, these folks striking up random conversations with you are just doing so to be nice and because they are genuinely curious! If you don't agree with something someone says, considering using the opportunity to gently educate that person about the alternatives...