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How did she used to sleep? B/c my DS has never been a great sleeper. It's actually one of his high needs characteristics. He just turned 4 and most nights I don't have to walk him back to sleep (and that's been for the past 6 months or so), so there's been massive improvements in his sleep maturity since he was a baby, when he'd wake up every hour or so.

My son was hard wired to be a survivor--the slightest change in the environment would wake him up...so I imagined that if he were born back in the caveman days, he'd have had a better chance of sounding an alarm for approaching danger. Thinking of it in those terms made me feel better =).

But if your daughter used to sleep great, and only now in toddlerhood has her sleep pattern deteriorated, it's probably related to either teething, growth spurt, or developmental progress. And while she might not need food during the night, she's still practically a baby, so she still needs comfort. Are you co-sleeping? Have you recently changed sleeping arrangements? Maybe her dreams are becoming more intense or vivid, and they're startling her awake. There could be lots of reasons...helpful, aren't I?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by transformed View Post
My 14 mo old is up every 1-3 hours going "mamamamamamama"

Why is that? I mean medically or whatever?

Its not like she needs food all night anymore.
Your LO can't fall asleep on his own, can he?
If kids can fall asleep on his own, he can get back to sleep if he wakes up during the nights. And if he is nursed/rocked to sleep, once he wakes up during the nights, he will wait for being nursed/rocked to get back to sleep.

My LO used to wake up about 10 times a night, then I went around to find out why this happened. I was worried that she was tired, teething... but that was not that.
Since she started being able to fall asleep on her own, she has been sleeping straight through the night from 8-8.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by fritz View Post
How did she used to sleep? B/c my DS has never been a great sleeper. It's actually one of his high needs characteristics. He just turned 4 and most nights I don't have to walk him back to sleep (and that's been for the past 6 months or so), so there's been massive improvements in his sleep maturity since he was a baby, when he'd wake up every hour or so.

My son was hard wired to be a survivor--the slightest change in the environment would wake him up...so I imagined that if he were born back in the caveman days, he'd have had a better chance of sounding an alarm for approaching danger. Thinking of it in those terms made me feel better =).

But if your daughter used to sleep great, and only now in toddlerhood has her sleep pattern deteriorated, it's probably related to either teething, growth spurt, or developmental progress. And while she might not need food during the night, she's still practically a baby, so she still needs comfort. Are you co-sleeping? Have you recently changed sleeping arrangements? Maybe her dreams are becoming more intense or vivid, and they're startling her awake. There could be lots of reasons...helpful, aren't I?
I dont get it. So in caveman days, if he was a baby, he would warn of impending danger? But now being older he has lost his survival skill?

That sounds a little far fetched to me. I dont know that I would go that far.

I am trying to teach dd to go to sleep on her own (with me in the room) and she does well half of the time.

Sometimes I have daddy lay with her. She screams bloody murder for 10 min and then goes to sleep. (I have 3 kids, I cant do it all all of the time. The others need me also sometimes.)

I will tell you what though. After nearly 6 years of not getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time I am about to go insane.
 

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Originally Posted by transformed View Post
She screams bloody murder for 10 min and then goes to sleep.
Is this CIO?
People here don't accept CIO, but for me, it worked great just after ONE night. My LO always waked up about 8 times a night but since then she has slept through the night from 8-8. But nap time is a different story.
However, I strongly recommend to play lullaby songs. They're AMAZING. My LO had fighted at nap time for months, but since I introduced her lullaby songs, again, it took only 1 day for her to fall asleep on her own. And now she's a happy sleeper.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I dont know if its cio. I guess it is. Dh sings softly and stays next to her but she only wants me.

Sigh. I am only one mama and it sucks to feel guilty about not being able to do everything all the time.
 

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Originally Posted by transformed View Post
I dont get it. So in caveman days, if he was a baby, he would warn of impending danger? But now being older he has lost his survival skill?

That sounds a little far fetched to me. I dont know that I would go that far.

After years of living in a safe environment, he's learned he doesn't need to wake up for every sound. And, as I said, it made me feel better to think of it in those terms. I don't have any scientific evidence to back it up, of course =). Plus, as he's gotten older, he's developed the ability to self soothe, so it's no longer my job to do that.

As for CIO, that's not what the OP's doing. Either she or her husband is in there with her DD while she's crying--they're not leaving her alone/not responding to her.

Sleep deprivation is the pits! I hope your DD is able to adjust to longer stretches of sleep soon, but since my DS was 3 years old before he started "sleeping through the night" (that's the 5 hours at a stretch definition, by the way), I can't offer you false hope. I hope her trouble sleeping is due to a temporary physical condition that resolves itself soon.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica1501 View Post
Is this CIO?
People here don't accept CIO, but for me, it worked great just after ONE night. My LO always waked up about 8 times a night but since then she has slept through the night from 8-8. But nap time is a different story.
However, I strongly recommend to play lullaby songs. They're AMAZING. My LO had fighted at nap time for months, but since I introduced her lullaby songs, again, it took only 1 day for her to fall asleep on her own. And now she's a happy sleeper.
no this is not cio, not even close. the op's child is 14 mos old and has a parent laying with them....not cio at all. its actually again the rules here at mdc to say you like cio and used it on your child. its a cruel form of parental laziness. children are people not pets and training them to self sooth by forcing them to cio is so wrong.

op - i think you are doing your best, my dd wakes often even at 26 mos. she still sleeps with me as my dh works nights but i am working on transitioning her to her own bed. all kids are different - i bet the more your dh puts her to bed, she will get used to him and hopefully allow you to sleep a bit more. if she knows that she can have a parent if she needs help but its your dh rather that her preference of you, perhaps she may not wake and cry as often?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I dont think self soothing is cruel in itself - I think its a nessicary life skill. I want to teach my child to self soothe so I dont have to get up all night! LOL. (I soothed my oldest every time he whimpered and he still seems to need night parenting a almost 6.)

Not very any ppl actually advocate real cio anymore. even my mainstream therepist. LOL.

I am hopig there are other ways to help her than me giving her boob or patting her butt every hour. (but not cio.)
 

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Originally Posted by katie9143 View Post
no this is not cio, not even close. the op's child is 14 mos old and has a parent laying with them....not cio at all. its actually again the rules here at mdc to say you like cio and used it on your child. its a cruel form of parental laziness. children are people not pets and training them to self sooth by forcing them to cio is so wrong.
No, I was not talking about the OP, I was replying to transformed.
And NO, it' not parental laziness. I don't say I approve CIO, but if it helps self-soothing, it's not cruel. If kids can sleep through the night, they will feel much healthier than waking up all night.
Also, if you feel exhausted during the day, definitely you can't take care your LO as well as you do if you feel healthy.
And moms also need to be healthy to work or do other things for their children' future, is that cruel?
 

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I'm going to avoid the cio comments as the rules on this are clear and there is no need to gt into a discussion.

I will share what seemed to work for us! Like Katie said, if you are there with your kiddo then it's not cio. We moved our little little guy a crib right beside our bed a few months ago (he is now 18 months.) We night weaned while he was still co-sleeping, so luckily we didn't have to go through that while he was in the crib. But he does still sometimes wake up at night and cry out. After a lot of trial and error, here is what seems to work.

1) Give him about a minute to see if he will put himself back down.
2) If he is still crying out, say 'it's time for sleep. Go to sleep.' This works about 50% of the time.
3) Go to his crib, sit down beside him and rub his back/sing while he cries. If he is talking through his crying then I'll let him know I hear what he's saying 'I know, you want out. No out, it's time to sleep.' This often helps him calm down so that he can relax to the singing and go back to sleep. I think the longest he has cried while doing this is about a half-hour (mainly when we just started it) and now it rarely lasts more an 10 minutes or so.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica1501 View Post
No, I was not talking about the OP, I was replying to transformed.
And NO, it' not parental laziness. I don't say I approve CIO, but if it helps self-soothing, it's not cruel. If kids can sleep through the night, they will feel much healthier than waking up all night.
Also, if you feel exhausted during the day, definitely you can't take care your LO as well as you do if you feel healthy.
And moms also need to be healthy to work or do other things for their children' future, is that cruel?
Transformed IS the OP.

There are gentle methods you can use to nightwean and discourage nightwaking, at this age. Try something like the new Pantley book on toddler No-cry sleep solution. CIO can't be justified as not cruel just because it can help with self-soothing. IMO a child will develop those skills as they mature (unless they have a real sleep disorder, in which case specialists are going to have a lot more to go into and offer than just typical nighttime parenting advice). Sometimes moms are exhausted and are slow to respond to the baby even in bed beside them, and sometimes you NEED to take a break in order to be a mentally healthy mom for yourself and your family. But CIO is not an acceptable technique to decide to apply as an ongoing nighttime parenting strategy.

ETA: yeah, Karrie-- that's totally a way to be there for the child but still move gently away from nightwaking.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica1501 View Post
No, I was not talking about the OP, I was replying to transformed.
And NO, it' not parental laziness. I don't say I approve CIO, but if it helps self-soothing, it's not cruel. If kids can sleep through the night, they will feel much healthier than waking up all night.
Also, if you feel exhausted during the day, definitely you can't take care your LO as well as you do if you feel healthy.
And moms also need to be healthy to work or do other things for their children' future, is that cruel?
transformed is the op...

and just because cio FORCES a child to self soothe doesnt make it right. there are better ways to teach this to you child. cio is the easy way out and imo (and may others) the lazy (and cruel) rroad to take.

Quote:

Originally Posted by St. Margaret View Post
Transformed IS the OP.

There are gentle methods you can use to nightwean and discourage nightwaking, at this age. Try something like the new Pantley book on toddler No-cry sleep solution. CIO can't be justified as not cruel just because it can help with self-soothing. IMO a child will develop those skills as they mature (unless they have a real sleep disorder, in which case specialists are going to have a lot more to go into and offer than just typical nighttime parenting advice). Sometimes moms are exhausted and are slow to respond to the baby even in bed beside them, and sometimes you NEED to take a break in order to be a mentally healthy mom for yourself and your family. But CIO is not an acceptable technique to decide to apply as an ongoing nighttime parenting strategy.

ETA: yeah, Karrie-- that's totally a way to be there for the child but still move gently away from nightwaking.
yes...exactly
 

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We are having this problem right now as well. DS just turned 2 and he wakes up at least once a night, stands up in his crib and repeats I want Mommy. When it doens't work as quickly as he wants he gets annoyed and starts saying all the things he wants at 3-4am. Like peas, kitties, bus, o's etc.

It is exhausting and he used to be a great sleeper until the molars started coming through. The bottom are now out my I have a sneaking suspicion that the top is on its way and that is what wakes him. We can't co-sleep cause I am pregnant and he kicks like bloody hell all night, plus he wants to be basically on top ofme. The few times when I am so exhausted I can't handle it I do take him into bed with us but it doesn't give me more sleep.

My thoughts are for a 14 month old it could very easily be teething or developmental.
I am hoping it is just a phase so I can get some sleep before the new baby arrives.
 

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I'm sorry that I didn't notice that Transformed is the OP. However, she mentioned "She screams bloody murder for 10 min and then goes to sleep", that made me think of CIO.
If you are going to say that she was there with her LO, that is different. But I did that too (I stayed with my LO, hugged her, padded her ...) but she still cried and I still was told I was using CIO.
And of course no one wants to leave her child alone learning to sleep.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica1501 View Post
I'm sorry that I didn't notice that Transformed is the OP. However, she mentioned "She screams bloody murder for 10 min and then goes to sleep", that made me think of CIO.
If you are going to say that she was there with her LO, that is different. But I did that too (I stayed with my LO, hugged her, padded her ...) but she still cried and I still was told I was using CIO.
And of course no one wants to leave her child alone learning to sleep.
Jessica, I wouldn't call being their with your child helping them through nightwakings CIO. I'm sorry people told you that. My DD occasionally used to wake up (as a baby) and scream and cry. It was terrible. She would do it over and over some nights, early in the night. I figure it was just teething or bad dreams or something. And it was no fun!
 

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I think every child is different. My child certainly does need to nurse at night. And when it's just his usual 5-10min efficient emptying of the breast, it's fine. I can sleep through that half the time.

The rough nights are the nurse-a-thons. But this age will pass all too quickly, even if it seems forever right now.
 
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