[Crunchier]

I'm a full time student. I went back to school after a long break when Ben was 13 months old. I did it becasue...

I knew that it would be harder with 2 or 3 or 4 than with one.

I have a college fund that expires in a few years and I lose the money if I don't use it.

We weren't making ends meet. In order to improve our lives we both need to increase our earning potential, and right now we need the college funds and student loans to live on.

I'm not sure if DH will be able to support us. Right now he is in school part time, and working part time. He will be opening a small business soon. Nothing is guarenteed, and he has a lot more school to get through.

I'd really like to be a homeschooling sahm, but I'd like even more to be a professional and work just a few hours a week, in the evenings, while DH is home with the kids. (family counselling) I think it's important to find a balance between being a mom and being a person. For me, it only take a couple of hours a week to be a person, and the rest of the time I would like to spend with my child.

 

[monkeysmommy]

I work because the rent for our very modest apartment is about %60 of dh's paycheck. I suppose we could survive if I stayed home, but we would have no savings, no money for anything other than food and our other bills. We don't qualify for govt assistance because of an annuity than dh started before dd was born. That's her college fund. We lived extremely frugally (rathole apartment, ramen noodles, furniture found on sidewalk) for about a year and I just don't want to do that anymore. Actually I've been doing that my whole adult life and I'm just frankly sick of it. I like being able to take us all out to dinner without worrying that we may not be able to pay our utility bill because of it. Today I got our brakes fixed on our car, costing $280, and it was like "Oh is that all?" whereas two years ago, we would have had to be late on our rent. For our rathole apartment. No thanks!

 

[morninglark]

Pretty much the same reasons as everyone else:

1) financial: I have a better earning potential than DH. We can get by on my income and we felt that it was important for one parent to stay home at first. Although, we are just getting by and DH is thinking about getting some work to allow us some savings, a bigger/better place, etc.

2) Health Insurance. Even if DH did work, it wouldn't be something that would pay health insurance.

3) I like what I do and would do this sort of thing if I get paid for it or not. So until I can work out a way to WAH and pay the bills and have health insurance...

 

[jmhammond]

I just finished my law degree, am currently studying for the bar exam, and will go to work full-time for the first time in my life August 15. Wow. My pregnancy wasn't "planned" or "unplanned," but I had sort of thought I would finish scool before we had children. But if I was living by my plan, I wouldn't have been married before I finished law school either...

Sometimes there comes those moments in our life where we have to make decisions about things, whether we had planned for them or not. I had a SAHM my whole life, and loved it. So did my husband. Long before Breck was a twinkle in our eyes, we talked about how much we loved having a parent home with us, and how important that value was to each of us. I had also always wanted to go to law school, and was finished two degrees and heading in that direction during our first five years of marriage. This conflicted with the worldview that a Mom should stay home.

My husband is a musician and works part-time at our church. Staying at home is much more convienent for him right now and much more compatible with him doing what God has called him to do, than with what I feel God is calling me to do.

So I work because I have been uniquely gifted and have a desire to be an attorney, and feel like it would be ungrateful of me to not fulfill this call on my life. I don't mean to get all religious here, but it's just an important part of my decision. I work so my husband can stay home b/c we value having a parent at home with our kid(s).

 

[bookwitch]

There are quite a few reasons why I work.

First and foremost is financial. We could not even pay rent on what my husband makes alone, let alone pay for other trivial things like food and water and electricity.
My husband and I both work for the same company, so the insurance would be the same regardless of who provided the insurance. That, then, is not an issue.

There are some completely selfish reasons, too. I can get emotionally stagnant pretty easily, and I NEED the adult interaction. I can remember days when I was on maternity leave, home alone with my brand new, completely beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and frightening baby, and I would PRAY PRAY PRAY that some relative or friend would drop by, if only for a few minutes. OK, some of it was probably hormone-induced postpartum nuttiness, but I would cry in loneliness.

So yes, I have many reasons for working. And I feel that all of them are valid.

 

[Peepsqueak]

I work out of necessity. It takes two incomes for us to make ends meet and my dh's line of work is unstable. I would have preferred to stay home with my children before they became school age and even homeschool them. However, that would put too much pressure on my dh to pay all the bills.

 

[Liz]

1. I love my work.
2. I would go insane if I SAH and would not be a good Mamma. PP comment about extreme lonliness during mat leave was me completely. I was even lonely when I WAH with full childcare - and I always thought I was a loner!
3. I don't want to worry about money. If I didn't work we'd have to move to somewhere cheaper (and probably more isolated - AACK!), not save for DS education and for our retirement, let our teeth go, not buy organic food, be farther from family...... not a pretty picture.

I would like to work shorter hours though, like 9 to 4 so I could pick DS up from school. Not sure how I'm going to do it but I'm working on it.

 

[Bethla]

My dh is a custodian and we have three children. I work on the weekends and am also in school part-time. In a few years I'm going to work full-time and dh is going to be the student and part-time worker.

I feel like I have a good balance between being home with the kids and work/school. To be honost, if my dh did make enough $$ for me to stay home I would. I'd probably only work part-time after they were all older.

 

[mizraim]

we work inorder for us to sustain what our children needs, for them to have a good future in the long run..we all want to be the best mother we can be that is why we have to sacrifice for our own blood.

 

[geekgolightly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wawap I'd love to not have to work. So would DH. We need to win the lottery so we can both sit at home. I'm fine with no intellectual stimulation. I'm tired of work. (read: we're lazy) This would be us - Laura

same here!

dh is actually the SAHparent right now bc he is working on a program (at night and on the days i dont work. i work 3 - 12 hour shifts a week), and we hope it will generate mad cash. we are living on one income which isn't all that much as i'm an RN in kansas = low pay. if the program he is writing doesn't make money, he will get a job and then we will both have to work

ideally, some company will want to buy this program for forty gazillion dollars. kinda like hoping for the lottery, but a girl's gotta dream, right? my husband is a major geek and learned all kinds of programming languages on his off-time and we hope he can earn income doing something he loves. he definitely loves being at home more, though.

i stayed at home for the first ten months while he worked at the post-office and although we were dirt poor, i LOVED it. hubby not so much. he wanted to be at home with us and i can't blame him. i think we are both just suited to putter around the house with seth all day every day. going to parks, reading books, giggling in bed, doing chores together. it's fun. we are definitely suited for being at home rather than working.

 

[wyogal]

I always thought I'd be a SAHM, but when my baby was 3 months old, I went back to work because
1. I LOVE my job! I worked hard to be where I am and I missed it horribly while on mat leave. Plus, my job is in a university library, very soothing and organized and quiet... what a great getaway for a mom!
2. I could work p/t with childcare from dh, grandma and a great babysitter.
3. Health insurance and retirement... everyone needs 'em.

On the last point, I feel for the SAHMs whose hearts tell them to stay home even if it means losing insurance and retirement benefits. I wish so much that SAHMs could accrue social security benefits while they are home. In my mind, this is a major piece of old school patriarchal thinking that puts women at a huge disadvantage come retirement time. Ooooh, it gets me riled up just thinking about it! Depending on how many years you stay home, and the performance of the market, retirement can add up to a huge loss. No mom should have to lose that nest egg.

Great thread, glad to hear there are other job-loving moms out there!

 

[ALittleBitCrunchy]

I work because I can't imagine doing anything else. I like my job, I like the paycheck, I like the feeling of accomplishment and the sense of a job well done.

I work by choice and it works for us

 

[dharmama]

As my sig says...I feel like I'm pretty much doing a little bit of everything right now. WOH, WAH, SAH....making my way into what feels right for me.

Why I work?

1. I

my work!!

it...for the first time in my life! I don't make a ton of money but I really feel like I am on my spiritual path and I just *have* to do the work I do.

2. My work feeds my ego (which I sort of feel

: to say but it does). I get notes and e-mails and phone calls from my students who tell me how much my classes mean to them. The positive feedback is amazing and it really feels good. I also write for the newspaper and after doing it for years...I still get a little thrill out of seeing my name in print.

3. I believe in my heart that, in my own small way, I really am making the world a better place.

4. I offer classes for pregnant and new mamas that I really needed when I was pregnant/newly-postpartum. I teach these classes -- even when enrollment is low and I hardly make any money -- because I really believe that they need to exist.

5. I think I am a better mama because I work. When I see DD after being away from her....I can't WAIT to hold her and snuggle her and play with her. When I was primarily SAH I found myself feeling annoyed a lot....wanting to come into the office and do work...feeling guilty that I should be interacting with DD. Now that I'm WOH part-time....and know that DD is in loving care while I'm gone....it feels REALLY good.

6. $$$$ I don't make a ton of money....but every little bit helps.

7. Oh and my work has really great benefits for our family -- free classes, access to alternative health care that we wouldn't normally be able to afford etc.

~Erin

PS ~

This is my first post in Working Mamas!!!

 

[triv25]

Erin!

I like how you post that you are a part-time SAHM and part-time WOHM (and, of course a part-time WAHM)...you made me look at my situation in much the same way...I work part-time and always classified myself as a part-time WOHM....but, now I'm going to add part-time SAHM...thanks for that perspective!

 

[cooltubnoac]

I agree with many of the reasons listed but the main reason I work is that it is who I am. I'm a surgeon. This is as definitive and defining as saying I'm a woman. I adore my children and I adore my work. I can't even call it a job or career, its a lifestyle choice. Just as being gay might be a lifestyle choice. We can easily imagine how unhappy homosexuals would be if they were living a lie, it would be the same if I became a SAHM. My children wouldn't know who I was if I wasn't a surgeon/mother/wife/woman/human. Listing the myriad reasons for being these various things is just pointless. I am who I am. Hopefully, this will allow my sons to see that they too can be whoever they are, no matter what their reasons (justification) may be.

 

[Lucky Charm]

I work because i love what i do.

And i balance that love with doing it twice a week. I am then home 5 days caring for and nurturing the kids that i love. I spend alot of those 5 days kissing my kids, including my 18 yr old daughter!

Aside from the love i have for the job that i do, is i work for the health/retirement benefits. The health insurance i get from the hospital is awesome, and i refuse to get them through my husbands work, because: A) They suck and B) they would cost triple what i pay through my employer.

And i refuse to spend that kind of money for health insurance when i can work two days a week and qualify for great benefits. I do not qualify for any kind of state assistance as far as health care. Colorado Medicaid would spit in my face.

Other reasons, and have been mentioned by previous posters:
I do not want to be financially dependent. I simply cannot stand it, even though my sweet husband scratches his head when i say that. He simply cannot understand my mindset on that issue. And reading the many threads in parents as partners makes me even more glad i do what i do.

I do not like staying at home full time all the time. I am a good housekeeper, and a great cook and enjoy all the things i do with the kids: movies, pool, park, riding bikes. But to do that all the time to the exclusion of my work, does not make me happy. When i was at home full time, i was lonely, isolated and depressed. I look at it this way, just like many a sahm who are happy with their day to day life and couldn't imagine living mine, i fell the same way. I couldn't imagine giving up what i have worked so hard to accomplish.

My work allows us a certain buffer zone financially. My husband does well, but his job is commission. I simply cannot stand the whole "what will he make this month" stress.

And one of the most important reasons why i work, is because i love the people i care for. I know many MDC members hate nurses and the entire medical profession, but i can honestly say its an honor to do what i do, and care for the people i do.

 

[Storm Bride]

oops

 

[sohj]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellien C Quote: Originally Posted by UrbanEarthMom I don't mind answering this question on this forum but I generally don't like when people ask me that because men who work are not asked that question. It really isn't anyone's business and people want to make judgements (exp. we're not "sacrificing enough", I'm "career oriented" etc.) I agree and that's why my answer is: Because it never occured to me NOT to work. My mother worked when I was small and HER mother was a seamstress in NYC during the depression. Before that, my family farmed and ALL mothers worked.

All of that and a big chunk of Sweetbaby3's post sums up my position -- even though, truth in advertising here, I am one of those who Sweetbaby3 mentioned as despising the entire medical profession. We've, uh, talked

: about it.

That, and the fact that I do a job that needs to be done and I can do it better than a whole lot of other people (even though some of them don't seem to think so, see my thread on Rampant Sexism.

). So, I see no reason to do something else (like being a SAHM) that I may or may not be as useful at.

Somewhere here there is a Working Mothers' Roll Call. Maybe that should be made a sticky.

 

[nancy926]

I work because DH and I decided one of us would make $$ and the other one would stay home with the kid(s), and my job pays way better than his (former) job. Plus, I telecommute, so I'm home all day. It's an awesome situation.

If he made more $$ at the time DD was born, then he would have kept his job and I would be the SAHP. But I think his temperament is better for SAHPing - he is mellower about almost everything, and more patient. I know I could be a SAHP part time, but am not sure about full time.

We are planning to homeschool so the arrangement we have we (hopefully) will keep for many years. If DH ever gets restless and wants to get a job, though, we will work it out.

 

[Lucky Charm]

Sohj :LOL