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Anyone have any theories? My DS bites/hits but I don't know why. I can't figure out what triggers it, so I am having no luck stopping this behaviour. He is not upset, he is not crying or angry when he does this. He simply walks up to someone (more often than not it is his 2 year old Aunt, me, or his 13 month old cousin) and goes at it. He will go across the room JUST to "attack" someone. He has been doing this since he was a baby. Like I mentioned in the other biting thread at a little before 3 months he was "hitting" his 1 month old cousin (we obviously intervened and noone got hurt- to be fair the 1 month old was defending himself
). When he learned to roll he would roll across the room to get his Aunts blanket (her prized possession) just to hear her scream. When he could scoot/crawl he would go after her constantly (I think that was because she screamed everytime he came near her- she screamed because he would get her!). I was video taping them one day when he scooted over to her and pulled her pants down (he was 7 months old). When he learned to walk all heck broke loose and now noone is safe. He bites me, his 2 year old aunt, his 8 year old aunt, his grandpa. Anyone around. His aunt or cousin will be playing peacefully, not bothering DS, and he'll walk up to them and bite, or push, or pop the pacifier out of his cousins mouth (that might be b/c he doesn't use them so they are foreign to him). I try to keep him away from them but I don't see how he can learn to behave nicely if not given the opportunity, kwim? I explain to him over and over that biting isn't nice, it hurts, and we don't bite people. But at 14 months he just doesn't get it. Any more ideas?
 

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Is this behavior allowed at your ex's house? Maybe you should talk to them and find out how they're discipling it or handling it? It could be that they are reinforcing it by laughing about it or something. Maybe you and your ex need to come up with a concrete plan about it since he'll keep biting as long as the response to the biting is inconsistant...
 

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Oh, and I do have to thank Senor Owen... My non-biting little boy bit me yesterday and drew blood, just a few days after being bit by his cousin. Oy vey. Oh, and he's copying Owen and climbing everywhere now... Hahahahaha...teach Owen something constructive so Bran can pick up on that one!
 

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Some of the normal reasons for toddlers to bite are agrevattion (they can't communicate verbally and get their point across so they bite or hit), over stimulation (their senses get so overloaded that they lash out), hunger (yes toddlers really do bite when they are hungry), and sometimes boredom. I don't know you and your child, but from your description it sounds like you ds may be biting and hitting simply to ellicit a response. You say his Aunt screams when he does this, well that probably feeds his excitement. I beleive you said he is 14months. So he is establishing what he can and can't do with his body and finding that certain things he does illicit an interesting response in those around him. My ds used to bite my nipples when I was nursing just to hear me scream. Some of the things that will help curb that kind of behavior is changing your reactions. If there is no interesting reaction then the activity becomes dull. I know it is hard to teach his cousins and young aunts not to scream when he hits or bites, but you can work with them on it. Also when he hits or bites you simply say "ouch that hurt, hands are for touching not for hitting." or "we bite food not people". Be very calm and firm. When he hits or bites another child instead of reacting to him, take the other child aside and make a big fuss over making sure they are ok. Then just simply aproach him and say again "hands are for touching not for hitting." I can't garuntee it will work, but it is worth a try. Hopefully when he doesn't get the reactions he wants he will quit the behaviors.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by iris0110
I don't know you and your child, but from your description it sounds like you ds may be biting and hitting simply to ellicit a response.
That's definitely what it sounds like.

I had a herding dog who used to nip one of my aunts (and no one else) on the bum whenever he saw her because she gave him the reaction he wanted - she jumped up and squeaked... just like his favorite squeaky toy!

The difficulty with kids is that you can't exactly school everyone around you not to react. Hopefully monitoring your reactions and heading him off at the pass for everyone else (as much as is possible, anyway) will have the desired effect. That and time, anyway.
 

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My son would sometimes bite if he was just overwhelmed, negatively or positively, with whatever was happening. He could be super happy and just have no verbal way to express it so he'd bite, or sometimes squeeze or pinch. The reaction seems to be a motivator for some children as well I agree.
 

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It sounds like he just wants a response to me too. I know it is probably very frustrating but 14 months isn't really that old - he is still just a babe. It is totally normal to be trying to use everything you have to communicate before you get your words. For that reason, I have heard that if really little babes are having trouble biting, tantruming, etc. it can help to teach them a bit of baby sign as they will feel "heard" and thus less frustrated.

Also, wanting a crowd reaction isn't a negative quality - he may be a born performer. Can you teach him some other "tricks" to get a crowd reaction?My little ds makes a couple of faces for laughs (tired face/wacky face) Whenever he starts trying to get attention negatively we will say make your "wacky face" He does - we all laugh and much of the time that seems to move him past whatever he was going to try to do.

HTH
BJ
Barney 5 & Ben 1
 

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Just had to share this recent conversation with my toddler while he was trying to bite me:

Me: "Don't bite. Use your words. Tell me what you want."

Him: I want...........to bite you!"
 
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