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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Why is it that my son will wake up in the morning, need to be practically drug out of bed and into his clothes, spend the entire fifteen minute drive to the doctor's office picking on his siblings, shrieking, jittering and making those odd noises that he can't control and then as soon as we walk into the office be an utter and complete <i>angel</i> for the entire visit only to fall apart again immediately upon closing the car door when we leave?<br><br>
Every single appointment, he does this. Every one. He always has. The doctors think that we're lying, that we're making it all up. They never see him the way he really is. I don't understand it. I've asked him why, but of course he doesn't understand why questions so that's no help.<br><br>
Is it really terrible of me to want him to fall apart and be a total terror in the doctor's office? Why can't he have that thirty minute screaming meltdown there? Why can't he suddenly fly into a rage while he's at the office? Why can't he be as mean to his brother at the office as he is at home? At the office he's on the very best behavior. He gets so many compliments on his wonderful manners and sweet demeanor.<br><br><br>
Another day, another doctor's appointment where the doctor told us cheerfully that he's a wonderfully healthy 9 year old with excellent manners, such a sweet boy and hey since you're already on a long ass waiting list for therapy why don't you just go ahead and keep waiting?<br><br>
I'm tired of waiting while he melts down if asked to move his dirty sock into the laundry basket, while he constantly picks on and bullies his brother and can't walk flat footed unless he's concentrating on it and can't sit still for more than three seconds straight and constantly does everything he can to push me to the limits just because he can and he can't control the impulse to do it. He is not happy like this. He's miserable and so is everyone else. But as soon as we walk into that office he's the most well behaved child on the planet.<br><br>
For those who do not know, Nate is 9 and has Asperger's syndrome and ODD.
 

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According to a book I have (the Active Alert Child) that behavior is normal. My son is also on best-behavior when we're out and about (although his best isn't that great) so a lot of people don't believe how he can be.<br>
They say it's because they feel more comfortable at home so they "let it all hang out".
 

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Do you have, or can you borrow, a video camera? Video his outbursts at home (maybe by just putting the video camera in a strategic location instead of following him around with it) and show it to the doctor?
 

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Yup, another vote for video camera.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>VanessaS</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9930185"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">According to a book I have (the Active Alert Child) that behavior is normal. My son is also on best-behavior when we're out and about (although his best isn't that great) so a lot of people don't believe how he can be.<br>
They say it's because they feel more comfortable at home so they "let it all hang out".</div>
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It's only when we go to doctor's offices, therapists and the first visit to a new friend's house.<br><br>
It likely is because he feels more comfortable with us. He can't be doing it on purpose.<br><br>
My digital camera has video capability, but we've never been able to catch him on video. We've been trying {not terribly hard ~ we don't keep a camera up on a tripod recording at all times ~ but we always keep the camera ready to go and grab it when we can} for five years. He meltdowns frequently, but they blow up out of nowhere and are so intense that there just is not time to grab the camera. I have to be there and involved to keep him from hurting himself or some one else. Plus every time I grab the camera he immediately stops, before I can even hit record, and starts being goofy and playing. Remembering to grab the camera and record when he's melting down is not easy, but yesterdays visit did underline again the need to double our efforts to get it on tape.
 
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