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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I"m just not sure what to do or say that will convince my DH that I LOVE HIM!
I know he knows I do... but he is constantly questioning me...
If I don't feel like having sex.. he says... "I understand" and kind of pouts...
Sometimes he'll talk about my "secret lover" who comes over when he's at work...
Somtimes he makes refrences to how I probably wish I was still with my ex....
He acts likes he's afraid of me alot of the time...
I don't know why!? I don't yell at him... I rarely get mad at him..
He tells me he thinks I"m always mad at him... I told him I only get upset when he doesn't help me with the things he should, and even then I have really relaxed in what I expect from him..

I do so many things to show him that I love him, and I tell him all the time... I don't yell at him.. I give him his space, let him have his free time...

I guess I"ll admit that sometimes I get a little cranky because I never get to have MY free time...

But I just don't understand... why does he think this?? It makes me feel so bad because I have never been so in love and so happy with a man!

I hate that I am constantly defending that...

So.. yup....
Any thoughts... ?
Andrea
 

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I doubt it has anything to do with you -- it sounds like he is very insecure.

Insecurity can make you think that everything is about YOU - that is, when you are mad, he thinks it's about HIM; when you don't feel like having sex, it's somehow HIS fault.

If he would see a counselor/therapist, that might help. I really don't have the first clue about how to approach him about it, though. Maybe tell him you are worried that he seems unhappy all the time and maybe talking to someone else about it would help?

I am the less secure in my relationship w/DH, but in past relationships I had been known to take things very personally and feel unloved. It had nothing to do with the person I was with - it was my own outlook on life and feelings (or lack) of self worth.

HTH.
 

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My DH does this, mostly pretending he's "joking" but I know there's a little truth behind his feelings. It gets worse when his clinical depression flares up, and then it stops being joke-y and gets more sincere. I haven't really figured out a way to reassure him yet but I just try to tell him that I love him and show him that I do.... I think sometimes actions speak louder than words for men especially, and I don't mean (just) sex, but trying to do a few caring things throughout the day. It's hard with a baby.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
hmm...
I think it does have to do with insecurity. Everything I'm upset about he thinks has to do with him, and I always try explaining that its not his fault or I'm not mad at him... because... 'YOU didn't do anything" (sometimes thats the problem though LOL
)
I will try talking to him about his feelings a little more...


Andrea
 
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