[Brown Lioness]

I dunno, I guess I'm feeling discouraged as of late (not pregnant yet tho), because anyone that seems to announce that they are planning a homebirth, never seem to get it.

A friend just gave birth on Tuesday of this week and had been planning her homebirth, but it turned into a c-section when her blood pressure rose too high (180/115, she was only 38 weeks). Of course everyone's thankful for medical intervention and all that (and her baby is ADORABLE lol), but Im left feeling kinda sad for her. She is very disappointed that she didnt get the homebirth she planned so carefully for and she mentioned that she felt like failure (which everyone is reassuring her that she is NOT a failure and that she did what was best for her and the baby).

I mean, I KNOW that childbirth is unpredictable and all that, but I feel some kinda way about it all now.

I dunno, I guess I just want encouragement (for me and for her or anyone else that went through this with her) or something that homebirth is very possible and planning for one is not all for naught.

 

[taramommy]

Hi Brown Lioness,

If it makes you feel any better, I am a doula and most of the home births I've attended have been beautiful, successful home births! Of course, there are always those times when a problem arises, but they really are rare.

I must say that as a CBE and doula, complications seem to come in clusters, which can be discouraging. My husband assures me that statistically, this is actually to be expected. You would think "anomalies" would be randomly scattered, but they tend to come up in clusters. Maybe this is what you're observing?

 

[dogmom327]

It is really frustrating when what you see directly around you doesn't work out. FWIW, hang out around here--I'd venture that most people on here have the HB they hoped for and sometimes even better! I did

 

[JorgieGirl]

My sister and best friend have 5 kids between us and 4 have been wonderful successful homebirths!

It really is true...plan for the worst, but don't dwell on it. Expect the best!! Your mind is a very powerful thing. It can work *for* you.

Also, as long as you're educated and know what reasons are best for transferring, if you do wind up needing one, you'll know it's for the best. And no one should feel ripped off or guilty for utilizing what the hospitals are truly there for.

 

[CEG]

You could look at it from the perspective that she DID get the birth she planned. Mom and baby are healthy, the midwife's expertise determined that she needed care that couldn't be provided at home and she went to the hospital. Exactly the way homebirth should work and what makes it safe to try for a homebirth-- so she is an example of homebirth and midwifery care done exactly right.

For what it's worth, my homebirth was perfect and according to plan.

 

[Right of Passage]

Fear lead to my transfer. I didn't realize it was possible for me to go from a 23 hour labor to a 3 hour labor. I wasn't prepared for transition and I paniced thinking I probably need a c-section and if it was going to hurt this bad for at least 8 more hours I want an epidural not to mention I had both the midwife, doula, DH, and myself fooled as to how fast I was progressing. I even told my doula I'll be so happy we should have a baby about mid afternoon. (this was at 2am) My midwife told be she layed in bed saying to herself "Sammie call me back" I think everyone was caught off gaurd of the speed. My midwife and I didn't even call it a transfer because truely had she left when I called her she would have missed the birth anyway.

In the end the all the hospital did was catch and stitch, and I know next time as long as future baby and I are healthy it will be a homebirth. In the end my doula soothed me knowing that the slight bleeding issue and my son being slow to start was better handled at the hospital (knowing we would have been alone otherwise) though I still wonder if either of those things would have been an issue with out hospital intervention (cord clamped at birth, uterine massage to expell placenta immediately following cord clamping). So I hope that might soothe you some. It's not all peaches and cream, no medical reason for the hospital birth just everything happening the way it was supposed to. I've learned more about myself with each birth and I know that'll be the same with any births in my future.

 

[kerikadi]

I had 3 great homebirths and I have dozens of friends that have had wonderful homebirths.
I see it the other way around - more and more women aren't getting the births they want in hospitals.

 

[Brown Lioness]

Thanks everyone, I will be sure to pass on all the encouragement to her and everyone else.

And just to piggyback on what dogmom327 mentioned about surrounding yourself with positive stories of homebirths and thas just it, i do JUST that, online, but they never seem to work out IRL. I mean, i LOVE hanging out on MDC and reading all the homebith stories and imagining that will be me one day, but then i log off and hear of nothing but ATTEMPTED homebirths and then am like "Dang, is that what I have to look forward to?"

I will try to keep a positive outlook though and just wish i knew someone IRL who has had an uneventful homebirth lol.

 

[DahliaRW]

Every friend I've had that has planned an out of hospital birth has had a successful birth out of hospital.

 

[*MamaJen*]

I know of six planned homebirths between myself, my sister and three friends. Five have been perfectly successful and with the sixth, my friend should be in labor any day now (she could actually be having her homebirth right this second). Actually, I know of seven. I just found out my 70 year old father was homebirthed. I wish my grandmother was still alive; I'd love to ask her about it.
I'd say my homebirth was better than planned. It was really an amazing experience. The link is in my siggy.
I know it is disappointing when births don't go as planned, but think of it this way: the midwifery system went as planned. Your friend's blood pressure rose, her midwife promptly recognized the problem, and your friend delivered her baby in a safe envirornment, and everyone is okay.

 

[boscopup]

It is really disappointing when you have homebirth-turned-hospital births around you. My own first birth ended up being hospital birth due to PPROM. But you know what? It turned out fine. My baby needed to be delivered in a hospital because he was 2.5 months early. My midwife faxed in my prenatal records and gave us medical advice to counteract some of the stupid hospital policies. I had a vaginal birth without pain meds because I had been well prepared through my research (like you are doing now), and it all went pretty well as far as hospital births go. My next attempt at an out-of-hospital birth went great.

: And for me, I think experiencing both and having my DH experience both was helpful too, as DH had been skeptical of out-of-hospital birth... he was just going along with what I decided because he agreed it was a "safe" choice. He would just rather have been in a hospital. Now that he's experienced both, he's gung ho on out-of-hospital birth. So good things came out of my hospital birth.

Be positive, read positive birth stories, think positively about your own future birth. At the same time, be realistic in your plans - have a backup plan in case you do need to go to the hospital. In my case, the one thing I wish I'd had was a good OB. I got assigned to the teaching group at the hospital, saw a million different residents, never talked to the attending who actually made the decisions, and I think they allowed my son to come earlier than they should have. He is fine and did *really* well for his gestation, so again, it all turned out ok. But for the next pregnancies, I've seen an OB that I trust in addition to the midwife, so that if I need to go into the hospital, I have an OB who will let me do what I want (as long as it's medically safe, of course). I feel more prepared for PPROM in case it happens again, and I know that I can have a better hospital birth than the first time, if I end up needing one. Also, for me, being prepared has kept me from needing that preparation.

 

[Gena 22]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DahliaRW Every friend I've had that has planned an out of hospital birth has had a successful birth out of hospital.

Me too!

 

[barefootpoetry]

If it helps, I know quite a few homebirth mamas, and only two of them wound up birthing in the hospital: one because she went into labor preterm, and the other transferred for exhaustion.

 

[Ruthla]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DahliaRW Every friend I've had that has planned an out of hospital birth has had a successful birth out of hospital.

That's been my experience as well, both with my own births and those friends who planned homebirths.

 

[Brown Lioness]

So basically, the homebirth transfers or thwarted homebirth plans are more the exception than the rule, right? I mean, i kinda knew that, but just need reassurance, lol.

 

[rad]

I've planned for 5 homebirth and also had 5 successful homebirths. So it can be done.

 

[flowers]

Both of my planned homebirths were not only successful, but lovely and enjoyable. My sil's planned homebirth was successful as was my good friend's. Also, all my friends from online in the past year had successful planned homebirths.

Maybe it's one of your fears surfacing-you know when that happens, you learn a new word and you then hear it everywhere. It happens when you get pregnant...all of the sudden you see pregnant women everywhere. If you are thinking about/or worrying about this it is very possible it is "highlighted" more in your life right now.

 

[Belleweather]

2 successful planned out of hospital births (one at home and one at a birthing center) for 2 attempts here!

 

[Peony]

Add me to the camp where everyone I know that has planned a homebirth has had one.

 

[MsBlack]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brown Lioness So basically, the homebirth transfers or thwarted homebirth plans are more the exception than the rule, right? I mean, i kinda knew that, but just need reassurance, lol.

Yep--*way* more the exception than the rule. But I also agree with the pp who mentioned things occurring in 'clusters'--which I have seen in my hb practice. Clusters of various things, but one recent year it was transports. It really made me wonder what the heck I was doing wrong--and I had to wrestle with some anxiety about all that for the next several births. But that cluster did indeed end....and it only raised my overall transport stats slightly.