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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, wise women, I have just about had it with my son's behavior.<br>
I normally consider myself to be very patient, loving, calm, kind, gentle... all those things we all strive to be. My son, who just turned 4, has been this raging ball of unpredictability for about the last 2 years.<br><br>
His first impulse at conflict or any disruption to his happiness is to scream and cry and throw himself around, he is really quite dramatic. I am sure this will make him a good actor some day. But, WOW, can he be dramatic! Basically, it seems like he's the only kid I see doing this all the time.<br><br>
Generally, he's very sweet, very articulate, very active, doesn't seem to have any food allergies or other health problems, he gets lots of sleep.<br><br>
Today's dramas (keeping in mind it's only 2:30 in the afternoon):<br><br>
1. We go to the playground and he doesn't want to wait his turn so he FREAKS out and starts screaming and yelling and crying at the kid who is using the object of desire.<br>
2. He is pulling his friend's hair (for what reason is anyone's guess since he won't tell us) and the friend is crying and I tell him he needs to let go because he's hurting his friend, and he starts screaming/crying/runs away from me, won't look at the friend who is crying because he knows he has done something he should have... ack!<br>
3. We come home from the park and decide to make hot chocolate. He opens the cocoa container, we each have a spoon, he watches calmly as I take a spoonfull and put it in my cup. Then he SCREAMS bloody murder that he wanted to go first. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
This is all part of the routine for us these days, but I am getting quite fed up with it. How can I help him express himself in a calmer way before he automatically FREAKS out with as much drama as he can muster?<br><br>
Maybe this is normal for a 3-4 year old child? Maybe mine just does it more? Certainly I've seen other people's kids freak out about things, but it just seems that my ds on the high end of dramatic frustrations.<br><br>
Any input?<br>
Thanks!
 

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DS1 did this a lot at age 3 to 4. I never knew what would set him off either. It was beyond frustrating for everyone. We ended up having him evaluated and he had sensory issues that were causing most of his meltdowns. At age 6 he still has the occassional meltdown, but he has vastly improved from when he was 3.
 

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I think some of that is normal for his age. It probably depends on the extremity of it.<br><br>
My DD is like this but she has a neurological disorder and I like to attribute a lot of it to that. That's not what you want to hear. She does have sensory processing difficulties. Have you read much about SPD? Does that sound like your child?<br><br>
I know how hard it is to deal with, regardless of the cause. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I don't know about a sensory disorder for ds. It doesn't sound totally unlikely, but normally he seems really adept dealing with life, so I think the normality of it is just being a little kid and not being able to act like a grown up.<br><br>
Today's drama was at the playground, he flung himself on the ground a few times after disagreeing with other kids about one thing or another, who gets the shovel, who gets to push the truck, etc... but he certainly wasn't the only kid at the playground who cried a few times. I think we also have really great days and not-so-great days.<br><br>
I am trying to encourage him, whenever I can, to tell me what the problem is before dropping to the floor and screaming like the world is coming to an end. I know someday he will learn to talk before screaming. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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DS will be 4 the end of Feb. Last night he wanted soda and chocolate for dinner. Um, yeah, we dont drink soda, certainly not in the house, maybe at a party every so often. We do eat chocolate, but not for dinner. I told him he could have a bit of chocolate after dinner. No, he wanted chocolate and soda FOR dinner. I dont really need to describe his behavior when he failed to receive his requested meal. It's the age.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">3. We come home from the park and decide to make hot chocolate. He opens the cocoa container, we each have a spoon, he watches calmly as I take a spoonfull and put it in my cup. Then he SCREAMS bloody murder that he wanted to go first. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:</div>
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We've had this meltdown so many times. He does the same thing - watch you do whatever it is and THEN scream that he wanted to do it first. Some days I just want to let him do what he wants and console myself with "what does it matter who got cocoa first?" Other days, I fear we're allowing him to be a bully because he's starting to treat other people the same way.<br><br>
I have no answers, just sympathy. DH and I have talked about the same feeling - that we're the ONLY ones whose child acts that way. He does it all. the. time. It really is driving us nuts. We've been battling with food issues but really haven't been totally convinced so far but are leaning toward dietary issues. We're struggling mightily, but I really think in the end some of it is my son's personality. EVERYTHING about him is intense, and I'm that way, too. Together, we're pretty explosive.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
My kids are intense like this too and I often find myself the only one with the screaming child. At 4.5 my daughter is starting to chill out a little bit I'd say, she doesn't go bananas as much, partially because she's starting to understand the reprocussions of her actions, like that Mommy will not want to do X anymore if this is how she acts.<br><br>
My son though is gearing up it seems. Woe to me if I even think of opening a door he was planning to open, or take off the entire top of the yogurt container when he asked for it opened but meant just a little bit.
 

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My son is 3 1/2 and has freakouts every day. I can't stand it. He also is obsessed with being with me but isn't nice to me. It's weird. I keep telling him he has to be nice to me if he wants to be with me but the reality is I have to hang out with him even when he spits and hits.
 
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