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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My mother feels the need to tell me when she doesn't like the names I pick out. She can tell me it's not her favorite, wahtever, but she makes fun of them. We are considering Rainey Grace for a girl. I told my mom and she told me dad. He asked why Rainey and she said *Because Snowy was already taken. So is Hailey. Guess all that's left is Rainey* While laughing hysterically. Grr.....why can't she leave me alone? Aren't I allowed to name my own child?
 

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Grrrr! How frustrating! I feel for you, mama. When I was pg with ds, my MIL suggested "Cinder" for a girl name since my dh is a firefighter and couldn't understand why we didn't put it on our shortlist. I think one of the most difficult things is to name a child. We expectant parents don't need pressure and people making fun of our name choices or preferences. Yes, it is your child and you do get to name it! I'm being stubborn and telling people that we're not deciding until she's born.
Phooey on those lacking the tact to recognize that it's not their place to criticize! Again, big hugs to you!
 

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After three days of struggling to name dd after her birth(I'm all for unconventional and dh is total mainstream) Dh called his dad and told him that we'd named our daughter Sahara Rayne ... his reply incorporated the F word and was followed by dh telling him off and hanging up ... needless to say it was an extra two weeks before the IL's made it over to our house (2 hours away) to meet their grand daughter (I didn't mind at all! LOL).
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by saharamama
After three days of struggling to name dd after her birth(I'm all for unconventional and dh is total mainstream) Dh called his dad and told him that we'd named our daughter Sahara Rayne ... his reply incorporated the F word and was followed by dh telling him off and hanging up ... needless to say it was an extra two weeks before the IL's made it over to our house (2 hours away) to meet their grand daughter (I didn't mind at all! LOL).

ok, i don't get why someone would get that angry over their granddaughter's name. it's a pretty name. it's not tacky, or ugly, or suggestive or anything negative, so why get angry? i just don't get people.

i've seen children named rainey, and i don't think i ever thought of the weather outside, till this post. they need to get a life and some compassion. this is their grandchild they are poking fun at. in my opinion, that is extremely disrespectful to you and your new babe.

we haven't discussed names at all. i told my DH we'd decide in the hospital LOL. i told my mom that the other night. i just don't want to get into it with anyone, and my DH have the hardest time deciding on names anyway........
 

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Don't tell your parents what you are planning to name your baby.

Also, don't tell them anything you are planning to do with your baby. Tell them after you are already doing whatever it is.

I am getting on that boundary bandwagon, and I invite everyone on MDC to join me.
 

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I totally agree, it is not anyone's business what you plan to name your child. If they don't like it TOO BAD. Check out my boy's names in my sig. I am sure you can imagine the flack we get for those :LOL Even strangers feel the need to comment. We don't actually name our babies until after they are born anyway (we like to make sure we pick a name that "fits"), but as soon as we announced the pg the comments about "what they are going to name THIS one" started. Just refuse to talk about it (and everything else they give you a hard time about). If you are questioned about the secrecy just tell them you want SUPPORT not CRITISM so you are sharing such information only with people who offer support (but maybe word it nicer if you don't like confrontation :LOL). Boundaries are so important in parenting!
 

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I agree with the "don't tell the name until the baby's already been born" wisdom. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my dh told my MIL that if it was a girl, we were probably going to use the name Andelyn. MIL (who is always nice, but also critical) called me one day and said "So I was talking about it with my [7th grade] class and we thought: Andelyn? Ugh! And then we came up with Andrea Lynn! Isn't that so much prettier! Andrea Lynn!" and then spent 5 minutes extolling the virtues of Andrea Lynn. I did the phone equivalent of smiling and nodding and we named dd Andelyn anyway.
It wasn't even that nasty a comment, but it's unbelievable to me that people (family) feel free license to comment on your choice of name. Off limits! I don't care *what* somebody tells me they're going to name their kid-- I'm never going to criticize it! Beyond tacky. Not to mention the regret you must feel when they use the name anyway-- I'm sure MIL is embarrassed about her long ago comment. Or she should be!

Anyway, this time we're avoiding the whole scene and keeping even potential names to ourselves. And if someone feels obliged to criticize after the baby has been born- watch out for this mama bear!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I was at my mom's last night and she said *Oh, I have the perfect name for you. You will just LOVE it!* I said ok, while thinking there is no way on earth I am naming my child this name even if i do love it. Long story short, dd was supposed to be SHelby Leanne, I had this name picked out in high school. Halfway through my pregnancy it didn't feel right. I told my mom and she asked what we were going to name her. I said I didn't know and as soon as I said it I knew it had to be Savanna Rose. Well, to hear my mom tell it she asked me if I thought I should name her Shelby and she came up with Savanna's name. And she gets really mad if I tell her she's wrong. So anyways, I was thinking no way am I using it. And she yells *Ashlynn Grace*. Ok, I like it, but it doesn't speak to me. SO I told her no and she was crestfallen. My baby my choice, I wish she understood that.
 

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sorry, seren, that your mil is being so clueless and disrespectful about naming.

i am also on the *boundary bandwagon* in this respect. we had a bad experience or two with sharing names when i was pregnant with dd and no way i am going to set myself up for that this time. plus, for me the baby's name is kind of a sacred feeling secret that only we know. the funny thing is, the way i first knew this babe was a boy was becuase he told me his name so clearly that there was no way to question it. dd did the same thing, but she waited until i was 28 weeks pregnant to let me know i was going to have to reconsider the girl name we had previously chosen. anyway, i know some of dh's family would react very strangely if i tell them this baby's name. it is a *wierd* one. i think they have the common sense, however, to keep their mouths shut once he's out.
 

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Names are a very personal thing. I know I thought long and hard about my children's names. Obviously, if a parent is giving their child a particular name, it's a name they love. Therefore, I wouldn't presume to tell someone I didn't like the name they've picked for their child...what good would it do? It would just result in hurt feelings.

My mom hurt a friend's feelings when it was announced they'd be naming their daughter Heather. It's a pretty enough name, but my mom didn't like it, and promptly let her friend know. Needless to say, her friend was pretty upset, and still talks about it to this day.

That having been said, anytime I hear of a name I don't like for anyone's upcoming baby, I just smile and say, "how nice", or "how pretty"! Of course, I say to myself in my head, "how horrible", but I'd never want to hurt them and say it out loud. A friend of mine picked trendy, ordinary names for her daughters, but I just tell her I love them! Of course, "Tiffany" was on her short list...thank goddess she didn't give her little girl that name (no offense to those who love the name Tiffany!).
 

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We don't tell anyone the names we're considering before baby comes - no exceptions. I figure after the naming has happened people are less likely to be rude about it, or to think they have any chance of changing it. Besides, it's nice for all the kids to try to guess what we're considering. (No one's ever close.)
 

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we have had this happen already too. we are naming the baby miles with middle name starting with an a . we just aren't sure about the middle name yet. (i am rooting for arjuna but i don't think it's going to fly). anyway miles is my fil's middle name but he goes by it. i am used to hearing miles sullivan and i just like it. well my evil stepmother basically told me i should use my dad's middle name for miles middle name. dad's middle is robert. i don't like it, i've already told her the middle name is starting with a. oh well i don't like her or my dad much for that matter anyway.
 
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