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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I had DD2 a month ago basically I pick her up the instant she cries. Feed her when she seems hungry or just seems to want to suck. She sleeps in my bed and I carry her in the sling a lot because I am doing stuff with DD1 or chores around the house. I do put her down in a little bouncy seat or a bed if she is sleeping and I am around the house. But today she had a really fussy day even though DD1 was at school. She would fuss and fuss and finally fall asleep and wake up again very soon if I put her down. Not right away but after 20 minutes or so. Whenever she was awake she was fussing it seemed. DH remarked that DD2 seems to fuss more than DD1 did.
I don't think this is true because DD1 was a very high need baby. And of course she did not sleep well for ages. But now I am so so scared that this baby will not be able to fall asleep on her own and that she won't take good naps or that she will be a fussy high need baby. I am worried that I won't be able to handle the evenings without DH to help me. He usually works late but has been coming home early, but this won't last forever. In fact tonight he came home on the late side (6:30 which is after dinner time and dinner wasn't made and DD1 was hungry and DD2 was fussy and I was in tears). He said he would be home at 5:30 but he is always late anyway so I was not surprised.
I feel like an idiot even writing this but now the baby is waking up again.
 

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I think you're being too hard on yourself. Your baby is barely one month old. Things are still adjusting. You're still recovering. From everything you said it sounds like you're doing such a wonderful job!


I don't know about you, but I found the recovery process was very gradual, especially with subsequent children. It got a little better each week but it really felt like it took a long time to feel completely back to normal. I didn't feel like I was getting normal sleep for a couple of months.

It sounds like you still need a lot of rest. Don't try to do too much. Just keep it basic. Take care of yourself and the children. Put the house and everything else on the back burner. Try to put your feet up and nap whenever you can.

I would also recommend wearing the baby in the sling around the house too. I've found it makes everything easier. You can get a lot done and the baby is much happier and sleeps better. I found it easier to tend to the older children and the house this way. While the baby's in the sling you're meeting all their needs and the breast is right there if they need it. (I just re-read and see that you're already doing this. I guess I'm meaning to leave her in the sling while she's sleeping too.
)

Also, for dinner, what about crock pot recipes where you do all the preparations in the morning? That way you'll be doing the cooking when you have more energy and it'll be ready like magic at dinnertime.


I think with a little time and a little more rest you'll be feeling more confident. Congratulations on your new little one. She's so lucky to have such a great Mama!
 

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I feel very confident going into this second babyhood, as I did with my first. And then I wake up in the middle of the night and remember those early days when DD would cry and I couldn't console her. How hard that was on me. I'd almost forgotten about them. Now granted, DD was not high needs, just a normal newborn, and those nightly crying sessions seemed alot fewer and far between than many of my fellow "july" moms. Still, it was hard not knowing how to comfort her at first.

Please don't worry about whether or not your new one will have sleeping issues, etc. I think this just puts needless stress on you, and that is bound to get translated to baby. You may have just a bit less patience for sleep routines, be a bit less relaxed, all because you fear a repeat of sleep issues. Each baby is different and each deserves to have the same start: meet their needs, whatever those are, and if you come to a point where you think those needs aren't being met, rethink the issue. But I wouldn't stress out now about what to "do differently this time" when you don't even know what sort of baby this one will be. They are ALL challenging at this age!

 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
What I was going to add before the baby needed me was that I went to a new mothers support group yesterday which made it all worse. All the mothers, including of babies as young as 9 weeks were worried about sleep issues (well, if you have to get out of bed, it is harder KWIM) and there was a lot of talk about the babies manipulating parents and blah blah blah That you have to put them down awake, and there was talk of CIO even for such very young babies. So they freaked me out more because I felt like I was doing everything all wrong. I never put the baby down awake. Maybe she will wake up because of that, but I hope maybe not. Don't some babies just sleep?

In the light of a new morning and after rereading some parts of everyday blessings I realize that the baby is the was she is and really I am not going to do anything differently. This is what I do, I pick her up and hold her and carry her and I don't care if she gets used to sleeping in my bed and has that as a sleep association. I set out to cosleep this time. And I love to nurse her to sleep. Frankly I NEED to hold her this much. And I am tough, I can take it. Really it IS just sucha short time and now I am upset that these women wasted a day of this precious time freaking me OUT!
 

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Just
for you, nuggetsmom. I am expecting #2 in about 5 weeks (or less, of course!) and I can find myself obsessing about these possibilies already. Sounds like you are taking GREAT care of that little baby and your family. Hang in there!
 

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Oh my! I would feel terrible after spending time with those women too.
At least you know everything you're doing is right and so good for your baby.
What about going to an LLL meeting instead? I've also heard of API (Attachment Parenting International) meetings. Those would probably better suit your needs.
 
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