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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, I had a pretty bad Thanksgiving. The whole day I had to put up with snide comments from my mom and sister about what me and my son eat. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> Btw, they're both overweight smokers who live off of processed garbage. All day they were saying how sorry they felt for my son who doesn't get to eat the same things as his cousins. I had brought my own food for me and him-mashed potatoes and parsnips, gravy, seitan, peppers stuffed w/ rice & corn-I don't see what about that is so strange, especially since I also ate a piece of my mom's store bought disgusting pumpkin pie. And even telling them that I decided to add dairy and eggs to our diets didn't make a difference. It seems what really makes them defensive is my aversion to processed food. Apparently I'm being overly "restrictive" by making homemade meals and desserts for my son <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">. I spend all my time reading labels and cooking so surely my son is neglected and never gets to have any fun. Never mind that all kids love to help their mamas in the kitchen <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"> and homemade food taste ten times better than the crap that my nieces are eating. They analyzed my son saying he looks pale and skinny. My mom made me weigh him on her scale and tried to get him to lift up his shirt so she could see how "skinny" he is. He actually weighs more than my two nieces that are close to his age, you could tell that just by looking at them.<br><br>
They both agree that "we're all gonna end up in the nursing home" eventually and suffer greatly in our old age so it's best to eat what you want to speed up the process. They also think every problem that's directly related to poor nutrition is "genetic", even obesity and cavaties.<br><br>
I was so hurt by their criticism and rude remarks that it's gonna be a while before I talk to either of them again. I can't understand why eating processed junk food is seen as normal and natural I'm made out to be some sort of freak for feeding my child correctly!
 

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Im in the same boat!<br>
Cant offer any solutions, just support <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I think most people think that convenence foods are just as good for you as homemade. They dont realize all the "extra" stuff that goes into making them. It may be easier for some to eat like that, but it doesnt mean that it is healthy for you. I get the same kind of remarks from my cloth diapers. Why dont you just use disposables, they are so much easier. Easier, maybe, better, NO WAY!
 

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Same boat here.<br>
IL's drink 6+ cans of soda a day (no water), eat processed and fast food 2x a day, have high cholesterol and are overweight.<br>
We eat vegetarian, no refined sugar, no processed foods, and make our meals at home from scratch. The amount of snarky comments we get from them is astounding. Although, it seems like MIL might be turning around given the last two phone conversations we've had with her. She even agreed to eat some vegetarian meals if we cook them (We're visiting them over xmas). So, maybe there's hope!
 

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My in-laws think that I am eating well and cooking natural, homemade foods for dh just to look good or turn my nose up at them. If I refuse junk food (really politely!) at their houses it's a personal insult and I'm just being picky.<br><br>
The thing is, I've been a vegetarian for 8 years, but I've only been eating all-natural, organic, no processed foods/sugar, mostly vegan for about 3 months now, and I really feel off when I eat the processed crap! Last weekend we went to mil's and everyone wanted to order pizza. I had my half on whole wheat crust, sweet chili sauce, no cheese, only veggies. I also had one glass of wine, half of a nasty, sugary cooler and a few pretzels and peanuts picked out of the gross powdered-cheesy party mix and I felt sick to my stomach for the entire night and most of the next morning! My body was not happy with me.<br><br>
Also, when I mentioned I'd rather not have cheese on my pizza mil said really snarkily, "is there something the matter with cheese now?" Like, as if I wasn't difficult enough when I didn't eat meat, now I found a new way to make her life miserable. Dh (who still eats meat outside of the house and buys eggs and cheese occasionally for himself, but for the most part likes eating vegan) has agreed to raise our kids veggie until they are old enough to understand what meat is and the moral, health, and ecological ramifications of eating it. But I can't wait until we get to bring up that topic with the in-laws!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mamacarey</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think most people think that convenence foods are just as good for you as homemade. They dont realize all the "extra" stuff that goes into making them.</div>
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Actually, they are completely aware of the processing and preservatives. They see them as "necessary evils" that can't be avoided without going to extreme measures (such as shopping at a co-op :LOL) and they seem to think that convinence foods are what "liberated" women from the kitchen <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">. They forget that all the time saved not cooking is now spent staying home with sick kids and taking them to the dentist. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake"><br><br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/oops.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="oops">T I just wanted to say that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rocks.jpg" style="border:0px solid;" title="mdc rocks"> and ask if there are any others in the Winona, MN area?
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">when I mentioned I'd rather not have cheese on my pizza mil said really snarkily, "is there something the matter with cheese now?" Like, as if I wasn't difficult enough when I didn't eat meat, now I found a new way to make her life miserable.</td>
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omg, yes! they take it as a personal insult and act as though we are being snobby.<br>
My grandma is notorious about saying<br>
"well I eat _insert-food-of-choice-here_ and <i>Im</i> fine/healthy"<br>
Oh and 2 heart attacks, tripple bypass surgery twice, quad bypass surgery once, high blood pressure, ostio-arthritis and heart disease later, <span style="text-decoration:underline;">yes, she is still kicking around.</span> Wow, who knew junk could make you so <i>healthy?</i> <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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Thankfully I dont have to deal with in~laws or family that acts like the OP's but have had a small amount of experience with this especiallywhile we were raw for awhile...that was pretty extreme for my mom to understand but she was good about it. My thoughts are that these people dont feel good and are in acid condition so thats how they see and think about things...I wouldnt let it bother me too much and personally would spend as little time around negative unsupportive people as I possibly could...its probly hard for them to see someone making an effort in a positive direction and feeling better than them so they make fun of it. I try not to waste my energy stressing over negative people! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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We deal with this, too.<br><br>
My favorite question: Do you take supplements?<br><br>
As if the Diet Rite Soda and Hostess Snoball might be providing nutrients we are missing out on by eating broccoli, beans, and brown rice. Did I mention my FIL just had quadruple bipass?<br><br>
And we actually eat their darn food at holidays and smile and rave about it, even though it makes us sick! Still, our diet is the source of constant conversation.<br><br>
I think it is threatening to people when they see you trying to do what they must know in their heart is the right thing to do. For instance, back when my husband and I were smokers, years ago, if we would talk about quitting, my MIL would send us a carton of cigs. Misery loves company? Or she feared we would judge her? Well, she was right. She makes it plain she has no intention of quitting, yet my DH lectures her all the time now, no matter how many times I kick him under the table. Sigh, I guess she knew something about her son I didn't know, lol.
 

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I can sympathize completely...<br><br>
And even my dad, who would not even allow white bread in the house, was a health food hippie guy, says to me last night on the phone: It is all genetic, it is not going to matter too much what we eat, we won't live any longer. So I say: It's not so much about that, it is about the quality of life. If I was overweight or unhealthy from what I ate, I would not feel as good as I do. He agreed.<br><br>
Thanksgiving week has not been without MIL issues here either. I think I am going to post about it, but I was kind of not wanting to put it off on everybody. It's so nuts, it's funny...<br><br>
Where to post it, though. I guess Parenting... or maybe Talk Amongst Ourselves...
 

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I think mz-libbie is kinda right in that pretty much everyone is aware of all the crap in processed foods. But, at least for my *entire* extended family, they think that it couldn't be bad for you, or the F&D Adm. wouldn't allow it! :LOL all I can do it laugh. Fortunatly, my mom loves it when I make her homemade things (bread, treats, etc.), but would never make them herself. MIL tries to act like she likes my food, and then feeds it to the dogs! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br>
My saviour is that we live at least 1000 miles away from any family! You should consider this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">. In fact, everyone I know here, lives here to be quite remote from big city life and remote from extended family! So we only have to deal with the snarky comments about once a year. You'll get used to it. Just smile and nod, and know you're doing the right thing.
 

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First off, I'll admit that my diet has not been great lately. BUT, in general, I think people take offence to healthy eating because of the implication that the crappy diet they are eating is, well, crappy. And people want be able to eat convenience foods that they like and not feel bad about what they're eating.<br><br>
When you make good choices, it makes their choices look bad. So they feel defensive. It's hard to admit making bad choices- it's easier to rationalize the behavior.<br><br>
It's not you, it's them. But you already know that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
BTW, I'm not in Winona, but waving hello from the twin cities <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hola.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hola">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mz_libbie22</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/oops.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="oops">T I just wanted to say that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rocks.jpg" style="border:0px solid;" title="mdc rocks"> and ask if there are any others in the Winona, MN area?</div>
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No but I'm in Rochester
 

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My IL's are pretty good about it, but my step-grandma-in-law was very disapproving and sneery when we told her that she could not give our eight month old daughter (!) some of her chocolate cake with ice cream, chocolate suace, and whipped cream (well-really whipped edible oil product). Then she asks why not? That's what kids like, etc etc. Gah.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>CarrieBeary77</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">misery loves company<br></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod">
 

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You should hear how healthy all those ABT's and chemicals and other drugs we give to animals are!!! And how organic isn't really healthy etc etc....there is constant razzing about it, but luckily it is all in good humor. He jokes about bulking up his poo while he is at our house. My IL's on the other hand eat atrociously have a gazillion health problems and refuse to see it as a result of poor lifestyle choices. Instead, they say, Hey, its not my fault, I have -insert disease of choice here-so I can't help it. never mind that drinking 3 colas a day is really bad for a diabetic!!!! Oh well, we can't all be logical and rational and well informed. I always thought, If people only knew what was in this food they surely wouldn't eat it. But some still do. I was enlightened by the Feingold Diet and like you guys, we just feel GROSS when we eat something that has preservatives or something processed in it.<br><br>
PS What is raw? Only eating whole foods? What constitutes raw? What doesn't that one might assume was?
 

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Raw = uncooked
 

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My dh's family is actually pretty good about my eating habits & even ask me for ideas to reduce cholesterol, bp, etc. My family & my dh's coworkers are another matter. My step-father regularly states that if I would just "lighten up" (i.e. - eat other stuff that I do not), everyone would be a lot happier.<br><br>
At the last company party for my dh's company everyone was eating junk & making margaritas (I think that's what they were, if I remember correctly). Since I don't drink alcohol or eat most of what was available, I ate tortilla chips & drank water. I got a lot of comments along the line of what a stick-in-the-mud I am. One of my dh's supervisors inquired as to what I "do to have fun." I don't quite understand how having fun requires getting drunk or eating crud.<br><br>
It is hurtful, though, b/c it often comes across as a condemnation on one's personality (there must be something wrong with you b/c you are so different) rather than just an acknowledgement that some of us eat differently than the standard American diet.
 

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I was just over at my grandmothers yesterday and she actually said to me (refering to our diet) "You'd better stop being so weird as dd grows up or youll isolate her and she'll get funny in the head" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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My kid is on an uber-restrictive diet and I feel that I constantly need to remind other well-meaning loved ones that <b>food does not equal fun</b>. Skipping stones is fun. Sledding is fun, decorating our tree is fun. Going to the movies or reading, what a joy! But a cupcake? A cupcake really isn't fun--even if we think it's an essential component of a blissful life. Arrgh--looking forward to many discussions about 'fun' over the happy hoildays...
 
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