Mothering Forum banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
688 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am going nuts. My DS (nearly 4 years old) woke up one morning in February of this year and said he wanted to wear underwear, so we let him and he used the toilet (pee and poop) ever since. Wahoo, easiest toilet training I'd ever heard of, or so I thought.<br><br>
His baby brother was born in March, we expected regression in toileting, which didn't happen. He typically pooped like clockwork between 6-7pm every day.<br><br>
Fast forward to September, he starts pooping in his pants, and has ever since. It's been gradually getting worse. Now he holds his poop in, refuses to go, and little bits come out (cause he can't hold it in any longer). So I am changing like 5-6 poopy diapers a day on this kid. And it is stinky. But each one is only the little bit that escaped. It's driving me NUTS.<br><br>
What changed in September is that he started staying home with me FT (versus being in daycare FT). I sense it's a power struggle thing, but ignoring it and saying it's ok to poop in the toilet or diaper doesn't help. He sometimes says it hurts when we wipe his bum (after diaper or toilet poops) but then 2 seconds later says no it didn't. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
Anyone know anything about poop withholding? After 2-3 days, I tend to withold some kind of outing until he'll sit on the toilet and let it all out, (like going out for donuts or something <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">. It works, he goes, like it's no big deal. Then back to square one. I can't go for donuts every day... much as I'd like to! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
HELP! Any BTDT?<br><br>
Kathy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
646 Posts
If it's a power struggle I guess you can just carry on the way you have been.<br>
I suppose you can say that once a week you will go for donuts as long as you have checked off a certain number of days where he pooed in the toilet.<br><br>
Maybe you can get him to eat more fruit, prunes, prune juice and water.<br><br>
Have you checked to see if he has a fissure or something like that?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
882 Posts
I have no real good advice, SORRY! For my DS who turned 3 the end of August... It's totally about his strong will and control over something. As I see it, there is not much that he actually has control over in his life but going to the bathroom is the one steady thing for him. Lately he always seems to pick VERY difficult times to need to poop. Like after we have left a place and used the bathroom, we hear "I need to poop!" as he is riding in his car seat. After he is down for nap, about 10-15 minutes later he comes out and needs to poop. It is very frustration in deed.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,999 Posts
I'd get Baby Calm which is a magnesium drink and cod liver oil capsules (taste like oranges and strawberries). Hard to hold what is well lubricated.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
123 Posts
Have you tried telling him that HE needs to clean himself up after pooping in his pants? Obviously it might not be an efficient cleaning job, but making him change his underwear and scraping the poop off the underwear might be the motivation he needs to sit on the toilet to poop. lol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
451 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Demeter9</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9906907"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'd get Baby Calm which is a magnesium drink and cod liver oil capsules (taste like oranges and strawberries). Hard to hold what is well lubricated.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
That's good advice. You really want to make sure that his poop stays very soft and painless. The longer he holds it, the harder the poop will get and the pain will make him withhold. Make sure he drinks plenty of liquids and eats plenty of fruits and veg. My son withholds too and the best advice I got from his doc was to ignore it! Sounds weird but if it is a power struggle or a need for attention, then mentioning it constantly (which I was) makes them withhold more. I sat down with ds1 one day and told him that it was his job to poop and nobody else's. I apologized to him for mentioning it so much and told him I wouldn't talk about it again. He has been pooping more regularly since then - albeit in a diaper <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: I make sure he has a diet high in fiber and liquids and have eliminated dairy (which can constipate). The doc told me to call if he has any leakage or bleeding (which can be a sign of blockage).<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you - I know how frustrating this is.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,150 Posts
We had bad withholding with DD. Impacted, screamingly painful BMs from withholding. I give her a prize for pooping in the toliet. I was having to give suppositories and at the worst an enema so I am much prefering the prize.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,282 Posts
My son started doing this at 4.5. We think part of it was that he didn't like pooping in public (well . .. not at home. he started pre-school) and also that he was so into playing that he didn't want to stop.<br><br>
It became a medical issue, though, because the poop basically became impacted, meaning that BMs were painful and he avoided them, causing a downward spiral. We went to the dr. and got a mild laxative to "clear him out" and now things are going ok.<br><br>
Good luck.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,895 Posts
my 3 1/2 yo withholds from pooping and has ever since he PLd in May. he says he doesn't like to poop because it hurts. and it hurts because he doesn't like to poop!<br><br>
i have him on miralax which makes his poop softer and less painful. he still has very large amounts of poop at one time though because he holds it in for so long. he only poops maybe once every 3 or 4 days. it drives me nuts but i am trying not to make it a bigger issue.<br><br>
when he needs to poop he gets really hyper and aggressive and loud and dances around and then sure enough runs into the bathroom going 'i need to poop!' and then 2 seconds later he comes back out 'no i don't'. at that point i get there and try to make him sit on the potty but he won't so i let him go. (not wanting to 'force' him to sit on the potty which i remember my mom doing). so he goes back to playing and then 10 minutes later runs into the bathroom crying. the other day we were home all morning and he literally ran in there FIVE times crying before he finally pooped. and yep he usually gets some on his underwear at some point when he can't hold it.<br><br>
i liken it to the gnashing of the teeth and the tearing the hair out poop ritual <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: i just keep saying in a calm voice 'your body is telling you that your poop needs to come out so you need to let it' and 'it won't hurt because i gave you your medicine to make it soft'. he gets a piece of gum or a couple of jelly beans when he does finally poop but that isn't enough of an incentive to actually make him poop on the first try.<br><br>
i'm just biding my time until he feels better about pooping. the miralax really helps because he was having very hard painful poops before that. our ped prescribed it but you can buy it otc now. or you can go the prune juice route. the miralax is very gentle and non-habit-forming though.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top