[Nanners]

I've just begun looking into international adoption as a down-the-road type possibility, and I'm wondering why it takes longer to get a girl than a boy? Is it just that more people want a girl, or is there some other reason? Just curious...

 

[clothcrazymom]

More people request a girl. And supposedly fewer girls are placed for adoption.<br><br>
Of course it depends on the area that you are wanting to adopt from.

 

[AllyRae]

The statistics I heard are that 80% of people who adopt internationally request a girl. Since that leaves 20% who request a boy or do not specify gender, those 20% will probably be matched a lot quicker simply because there are less people requesting a boy or do not specify gender...

 

[vermonttaylors]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AllyRae</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7918311"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The statistics I heard are that 80% of people who adopt internationally request a girl. Since that leaves 20% who request a boy or do not specify gender, those 20% will probably be matched a lot quicker simply because there are less people requesting a boy or do not specify gender...</div>
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What she said! So, that leaves about 5 boys for every girl in orphanages world wide, with the exception of China, which as we know is a whole different story.<br><br>
If you don't have a preference, may I just say how wonderful parenting boys is!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: We always wanted both, and we have been very lucky to have been matched with both. We recently changed our request for Ethiopia from "whichever comes first" to "boy, please" because we realized that we really were hoping for a boy next and there are people who are desperate for girls, so we did not want to deprive someone of a girl when we really want a boy.<br><br>
Either gender is fantastic, I just like to put in a little plug for boys if people don't have strong feelings one way or the other. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">

 

[Nanners]

We have 2 glorious little boys to whom I gave birth. I had thought we would request a girl, but this little voice in the back of my head keeps jumping in and saying; "boy! boy!" So, we'll see! I adore little boys, and I'm honestly a little intimidated by the prospect of mixing it up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> Also, since a very large part of our motivation is wanting to help, and give a home to a child who really needs it, maybe getting a boy makes more sense. I am leaning towards Kazhakstan, incidentally, and would take a child w/ a mild disability (cleft lip/palate, or mild cp, etc). Of course, we're waiting until our current youngest is 5, and he's not quite one, so we have plenty of time to think about it.

 

[dharmamama]

Most people request girls. There is a belief that girls are easier to raise/less likely to cause trouble/less scary. I, personally, think that the idea of an adolescent black male scares some people so much that they will adopt a black female but not a black male.<br><br>
I have two girls and a boy. Our first adoption was a boy. I always knew I would adopt a boy. I never had any ideas of adopting a girl. Our second adoption was of an 11 year old girl.<br><br>
So far, raising my boy has been much easier than raising my girls.<br><br>
dm

 

[Tigeresse]

There was an article in Adoptive Families about this not too long ago.<br><br>
One of the reasons we adopted from China was because it was the one place where there were more girls in need. But I must say, I don't know where the notion comes from that girls are easier. Our dd is a handful! My 3 boys combined have never quite matched her energy level! If I had had her 1st, I don't know if I would have gotten to 4 kids <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">

 

[vermonttaylors]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Tigeresse</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7919545"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">But I must say, I don't know where the notion comes from that girls are easier. Our dd is a handful! My 3 boys combined have never quite matched her energy level! If I had had her 1st, I don't know if I would have gotten to 4 kids <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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That's funny!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I have a very dear friend who has 3 boys and then had a girl and she says the same thing. Her girl has the energy of all the boys...combined.

 

[vermonttaylors]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Nanners</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7919145"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We have 2 glorious little boys to whom I gave birth. I had thought we would request a girl, but this little voice in the back of my head keeps jumping in and saying; "boy! boy!" So, we'll see! I adore little boys, and I'm honestly a little intimidated by the prospect of mixing it up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> Also, since a very large part of our motivation is wanting to help, and give a home to a child who really needs it, maybe getting a boy makes more sense. I am leaning towards Kazhakstan, incidentally, and would take a child w/ a mild disability (cleft lip/palate, or mild cp, etc). Of course, we're waiting until our current youngest is 5, and he's not quite one, so we have plenty of time to think about it.</div>
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You'll know which to request when the time comes. You'll just know. Since you have boys at home and no girls, you will probably be able to request a girl from almost any country you might be interested in. They often say you can only request girls if there are no girls in the home already.<br><br>
Kazakhstan is a great place to adopt from. It has changed a lot since we were there in '05 in terms of adoption, so just keep an eye on the program. One thing about international adoption: NOTHING EVER STAYS THE SAME!

 

[TigerTail]

Supply & demand. Businesses work this way.

 

[AllyRae]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>vermonttaylors</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7920918"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You'll know which to request when the time comes. You'll just know.</div>
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Or you'll be like me--we requested either gender because we couldn't decide. I'd love a girl, but I also have birthed two boys, and I love being Brandon's mommy...I couldn't imagine not having my boy. I just decided that I wanted to raise a child--I didn't care what gender the child was. And I figured it was a lot closer to pregnancy in that respect--I wouldn't have chosen a gender had I birthed the child myself. And by not specifying a gender, there's a darn good choice it will be a boy...but it could also be a girl. And right now, the wait to find out which we will be adopting is getting harder--I want to know soon! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">:

 

[Rockies5]

I learn somthing new everyday! I thought there were more girls then boys in the world (and boys were preferred in most parts of the world) so there were more girls available for adoption.<br><br>
It's a long ways off for us, still. But I am beginning my research.

 

[sebrinaw]

We wanted to adopt and since I had three boys I really did want a girl, bu tI felt super guilty for asking for it, espcially when I found out that girls were in high demand.<br><br>
My boys are all so different. My oldest has more energy than anyone I have ever met, lol. My middle son is quite calm but he has an explosive temperment. My youngest son has energy, but only when my oldest gets him going. But my youngest boy is very easy. He loves to sit and do crafts and draw, in fact so does my middle son. I would say my only boy that portrays the "boy" stereotype is my oldest. It will be interesting to see how my baby girl turns out.<br>
Sebrina

 

[BCFD]

We also never specified a gender, but being lesbians I feel that they deliberately matched us with a girl (our first adoption). Call it a hunch. We had said that if our first was a boy, we'd want him to have a brother. But since our first was a girl, we wanted her to have a sister. So, our 2nd child was also a girl. DD#1's birthmom just gave birth in Dec. to.........ANOTHER GIRL! So, we now have 3 girls and I absolutely love it. There is a part of me that wonders what it would be like to have a little boy, but we may be done (unless one of our girls' birthmoms get pg again. My limit is 4 children). I also have frozen embryo's and we debate doing an FET in a few years. But I have HUGE issues with an adopted/biological blended family (a whole other story! LOL!).

 

[Starr]

Our social worker said there are a number of reasons why people may prefer to adopt a girl over a boy.<br><br>
One big one being usually the female or wife is the one doing the paperwork and the front runner in the adoption, and so she usually is the one to request it and the partner goes along.<br><br>
Girls tend to be viewed as easier to raise than boys. Obviously never met my hot tempered DD.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Also in the last several years the number of babies born have been more male then female. I guess every few years the balance changes.<br><br>
We did request a girl although when it came to the wait for a referral I said we no longer cared and just wanted a baby, low and behold they already had DD waiting for us. I personally wanted a girl to pass down a family middle name that otherwise may have ended with me and DH kept having dreams about little girls... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Boy that sounds really bad typed out but you know what I mean. I remember arguing with him because he kept dreaming of a little girl with curly hair and like 99% of the pictures we looked at of girls from Guatemala had really straight hair. Well lo and behold Olivia has semi curly hair.<br><br>
For our next one I want to be suprised. I feel like I missed out on some part of being a mother with the anticipation of waiting to hear if its a boy or girl. Its hard to explain but we always knew it was girl so that wondering and excitement was never there, make sense?

 

[pumpkingirl71]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Starr</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7941487"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Girls tend to be viewed as easier to raise than boys. Obviously never met my hot tempered DD.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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This cracked me up. I have only seen pictures of Olivia, but she seems so happy and not hot tempered. I bet others would say the same about my dd, who is soooooo hot tempered <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[little-Bea]

Wow - I am not sure why I thought this, but I was under the assumption that the opposite was true!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bigeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bigeyes"> That's why we were talking about adopting a girl!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">

 

[Dov'sMom]

My understanding of the gender gap is that more boys are conceived (approximately 105/100 ratio over the past 100 years at least) but that they are more susceptible to childhood/in utero disease, and that by age 5 it's basically even.<br><br>
Recently, some studies have come out showing a shift in the ratio, down to 103 or 104 boys per 100 girls -- so still more, but by less. Hypothesis in favor is environmental **** affect boys worse. Whatever.<br><br>
As far as we're concerned, I always wanted at least one of each, but DH is dreading ever having a girl and having to deal with clothing, makeup, and body image. Since I pretty much went through life not caring, I'm not going to be much help on that score! Building forts and wanting guns he understands.<br><br>
I think for me, adopting an older child I would want a girl just because I'd be afraid of the sorts of things a boy had been exposed to. During what could be a long transition time, a teenage boy is far more capable of causing much worse harm (read: rape) than a girl -- or at least, that's what I would be afraid of. Adopting children, though, I don't think I would care.