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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think they are not specifically trained but I am not sure. Usually my biggest beefs are just those little annoyances like the craft teacher who helps too much so the kids projects aren't really thier own...The karate teacher who seems alittle too strict but what do I know about karate anyway? However I think this one might be a big problem...<br>
a while back DD was in a class with the "coach". He was very good as I could see witih the kids and the class was parent/child. He seemed laid back drinking his coffee and reassuring the moms not to push the kids but just let them try and than do the skill as much or as little as they wanted.<br>
So DD is in another his classes this time around and I was glad and felt she was in good hands b/c he seemed to be the only one who was interested in age appropriate behavior...<br>
So I went to pick up DD from her last class a few minutes early. A little boy was trying to kick a soccer ball and he was crying. the coach was yelling.."Focus" "Kick the ball straight" I couldn't beleive it..he was being mean to this little kid. Than the boy got really upset..you know that choking cry?. the coach took the ball and said, "Calm down! I am not going to talk to you until you calm down"<br>
Of course he couldn't settle down and than the class was over. When the boys mom came to pick him up the coach told her that the boy jsut got himslef all worked up. I didn't say anything to the mom b/c she was having a heart to heart with her son when we were leaving and I can only hope he was telling her what happend. I didn;t want to interrupt thier moment and I wasn't there in the beginnng. The boy was crying when I got there. The class is for kids 4-6.<br>
I asked my DD if she knew why the little boy was crying...she said she didn;t know. So I let it go b/c she did not seem to have noticed...she can definetly be in her own world...which is exaclty what I am worried about.<br>
Would you pull your kid from the class...even if she really liked it and wasn't affected just in case of something or just keep checking on her.<br>
I can't stay in the room b/c of DS he would be all over chasing the kids.<br>
So WWYD?
 

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That's a hard one. I definatly do not agree w/ the coach's methods. If it we me I guess it would depend on which of my kids was in the class. I know my ds#1 would tell me in detail if anything happened that upset him but my dd wouldn't. She is a people pleaser and would most likely keep it to herself. Would your dd tell you if the coach treated her like that? Maybe you could find another class she will like to replace this one?
 

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not necessarily--are you going to homeschool? because this is the only method I can forsee to prevent teachers saying things to your dc that might inadvertantly scar them for life.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
it's hard when people don't treat our children with the same respect and love that we do, but when the teacher doesn't have an emotional tie to the child stupid sh*t comes out of their mouths. I can think of numerous really horrid things any given teacher has ever said to me and I never told my mom...and I told her EVERYTHING.<br><br>
I think its all apart of entrusting her care to someone else--it's not just the Y, its everywhere. And that's not to say the Y doesn't have fantastic teachers, ours does! The question is--at what age are you comfortable allowing her to witness, observe, be a part of human stupidity and cruelty? ( I say that lightly, but seriously. Some are OK with their 5 year olds being initiated and some wait until their kids are grown<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I think your dd will be fine and not scarred for life, but if she seems fine with the teacher and is having fun, then let her...most likely that teachers inability to attune to those kids won't even phase her.<br><br>
peace,<br>
sarah
 

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How often have you watched the class? If this coach's behavior is a pattern and he does it to either the same boy all the time or to several different kids, then yes, I would be concerned.<br><br>
But if it is an isolated incident, who knows, maybe he was just having a bad day or bad hour. Yes, he shouldn't have been yelling at a 5 yo or any other child. But I'm sure that everyone here has had moments when maybe they lost patience with someone else's child (or with their own). I know I have.<br><br>
I think I would continue to watch at least part of the class for a while before you decide what to do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">not necessarily--are you going to homeschool?</td>
</tr></table></div>
Actually, yes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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If he yelled like that once, I would bet he's done it before-maybe even to your child.<br>
There are professional standards for people who work with children- yelling at/verbally abusing a young child until he is crying hard comes up short.<br>
Even if children are not personally abused, being witness to abuse is also harmful.
 

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I wouldn't pull her out....especially since you didn't see the whole thing. Maybe you could have another Mom who isn't busy with younger sibs keep an eye out for you? Though I gotta say the coach seems to have unrealistic expectations. "kick the ball straight"?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Dd (5) has had 3 soccer coaches and they all seem happy if the kids stay on their own field and don't tackle each other. Imo at that age it should be about making it fun more than worrying about skills.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I agree it should be fun..especially since it isn't even a soccer class. It is sprts and games so one week they do a sport the next a game. It is just supposed to be an intorduction
 

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If she is having fun, and she was unbothered by the incident, then I would leave her in.<br><br>
You know -- my kids have surprised me in their ability to cope with different caregiving/teaching styles. My younger son got incredibly attached to a swim teacher who (IMHO) was a crabby, nasty, overly-strict person. But he loved her, and walked around hand-in-hand with her. (And this was a child who did not take easily to new people.) They both do okay with strict or grouchy teachers.<br><br>
I think that having a secure foundation at home does A LOT for kids in terms of preparing them to weather hardships in the world at large. And if it were my child in that position with the coach yelling, he would have yelled right back, <i>"HEY! I'm doing the best I can, okay?!"</i> LOL
 

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Is it possible you are noticing what really isn't there? I know how easy it is to be picky when it comes to your own child. I have three children and I was very picky with my oldest child and it gets easier as you have more. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I would just chalk it up to all human beings dealing with things differently. They all have different personalities when dealing with children. Unless they are hurting the children or causing them harm or neglect then I wouldn't worry. It's just an innocent activity and something that you can choose "not" to allow your child to participate in if it's that much of a problem.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Oh no he was yelling. It wasn't even like I was loking for it b/c I expected this coach to be great. the kid was sobbing and he continued yelling...It weird.<br>
Oh and it didn't even involve my kid.
 
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