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I am losing my mind. My dd just turned three, and the tantrums are crazy. I'm so tired of the banshee scream and really, REALLY tired of delaying chunks of our day to deal with this crapola.
 

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I remember those days as well. I fear they're coming around again.

Ds used to make me wonder what people were talking about when they said "terrible two's".... then he turned 3.
 

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Abi still needs routine in the morning at age 4.5. She always wakes up grumpy. However she wakes up less grumpy if I give her some milk immediately, and then put on a video for her. She wakes up at 5:30-6 AM *every* morning (from birth!
) so this video is a way for me to go back to bed for awhile, too. By the time the video is over she's transitioned to being awake and is better.
 

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My ds (almost 4) always needed to ease into the day, either by me carrying him around for up to an hour, reading books while nursing, or watching a video while eating a yummy snack. It's just how he is and I have allow for it.
 

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Quote:
My ds (almost 4) always needed to ease into the day, either by me carrying him around for up to an hour, reading books while nursing, or watching a video while eating a yummy snack. It's just how he is and I have allow for it.
I have the tantrum every morning, too. Ive never thought he might need some transition time
I need to try this........

Thanks for starting this thread and the great advice.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by RachelGS
I am losing my mind. My dd just turned three, and the tantrums are crazy. I'm so tired of the banshee scream and really, REALLY tired of delaying chunks of our day to deal with this crapola.

I was counting on Age 3. DS has them everyday too
no advice, just joining the club.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheena
I remember those days as well. I fear they're coming around again.

Ds used to make me wonder what people were talking about when they said "terrible two's".... then he turned 3.

oh no! ds is just 19 months and has tantrums everyday
you mean to say it's gonna get worse? oh no!!
 

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Oh my...just reading that other 'Abigails' and dc's go thru this AND other mommy's lose patience makes me feel so much better oddly enough!

Just one night a month or so ago my dh and I were saying 'gosh Abi hasn't gone through any terrible two's'...we proudly looked at one another. I swear, it was the next day that it ALL started. One moment sweet and loving 'oh momma I wuv you with my whole heart'..then, this once sweet mannered child the next moment kicking and screaming and having melt downs out of the blue over what seems nothing. I, truthfully, have been stunned! Truly! It's been a few weeks now and I am worn out totally. She wants me to hold her almost constantly at the store or out in the fields as we are roaming for bugs. My arms are dead and my back is toast. She is in deep separation anxiety for me. I've never ever left her!!! But I go in the bathroom and she has a meltdown and won't come in with me!! She won't go to dh to let him hold her! I could list more but thanks for listening! I know that it is a phase and it will pass, but almost every day I lose my patience and temper and hate myself for that...I feel like a bad mom on those occasions...

Carol and Abigail Zoe 29 Oct 02(I don't know why I'm behaving this way but I hope mommy doesn't cry so much anymore about it!!! )
 

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I'll join the tantrumy threes group! Avi doesn't have tantrums first thing in the morning, but a couple hours later......wheeeew, look out. Today we were working in the yard. He wanted to sit on a brick, one of several that I was working with. OK, I'll go get another from across the yard. Screeeeech!!!!! He wanted to get another one. OK, we'll each get one, cause It'll save me a trip. Then he decided that the one I had just placed was HIS brick, and it was now ruined. So on and so forth. He wanted to go in, so I clean up to go in. But now he wants to swing, so I swing him once while I finish cleaning up. Screaming about how he's not going high enough, he gets off and runs to the door, opens it, but won't go in. Won't let me through to put my stuff away, won't close the door to keep the flys out, screaming the whole time I'm picking him up and closing the door. The worst part was when my neighbor said "I think he needs a nap." REALLY, YA THINK????? I think I needed a nap at this point too. Or a stiff drink. This whole senario took less than a half an hour. It felt like an eternity. We have several of these episodes in a day, with no warning before they happen, and often end as quickly as they begin. Moments before this one erupted we were playing in the dirt, checking out the worms and pill bugs, and strategicaly placing bricks. And he usually has meltdown's when I'm on a time schedual that doesn't allow for meltdowns. Then I have a meltdown, then I feel bad that I handled it badly.

Oh, I long for my sweet, compliant baby again!!!!!
 

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Leetah987The worst part was when my neighbor said "I think he needs a nap." REALLY said:
:LOL

This thread reminds me of the days when Gracie used to have full fledged tantrums every day. One hot Texas Day when she was about two and a half, she would not come out of our car and was screaming and sobbing hysterically and loudly. I don't even remember what the trigger was, but it seemed minor and pretextual to me, even though it was serious to her.

It was about four in the afternoon. We had just returned from a fun outing. I stood outside Gracie's car door, holding Rosie in the sweltering heat, worried about what to do because the car had to be even hotter.

I knew Gracie would feel better once she got inside. I considered what to do, whether I should turn on the AC in the car and just sit there for a while, or whether I should physically pull her out of the car because she was probably really crying because she was hungry and needed a nap, maybe a few minutes with a cool bowl of applesauce and then snuggling in the bed for babas and a nap -- these thoughts took about a minute --

anyway, I was there trying to encourage her to come out, when this helpful neighbor who lived a few blocks away who was walking by and who had never had any children came over and said to me:

"It looks like she is afraid to come out of the car."

:LOL

It was just karma because I used to dispense such comments and advice freely before I had children.
:
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Leetah987
I'll join the tantrumy threes group! Avi doesn't have tantrums first thing in the morning, but a couple hours later......wheeeew, look out. Today we were working in the yard. He wanted to sit on a brick, one of several that I was working with. OK, I'll go get another from across the yard. Screeeeech!!!!! He wanted to get another one. OK, we'll each get one, cause It'll save me a trip. Then he decided that the one I had just placed was HIS brick, and it was now ruined. So on and so forth. He wanted to go in, so I clean up to go in. But now he wants to swing, so I swing him once while I finish cleaning up. Screaming about how he's not going high enough, he gets off and runs to the door, opens it, but won't go in. Won't let me through to put my stuff away, won't close the door to keep the flys out, screaming the whole time I'm picking him up and closing the door. The worst part was when my neighbor said "I think he needs a nap." REALLY, YA THINK????? I think I needed a nap at this point too. Or a stiff drink. This whole senario took less than a half an hour. It felt like an eternity. We have several of these episodes in a day, with no warning before they happen, and often end as quickly as they begin. Moments before this one erupted we were playing in the dirt, checking out the worms and pill bugs, and strategicaly placing bricks. And he usually has meltdown's when I'm on a time schedual that doesn't allow for meltdowns. Then I have a meltdown, then I feel bad that I handled it badly.

Oh, I long for my sweet, compliant baby again!!!!!
Oh goodness I could write this! also heaven forbid should you offer DS the wrong cup.. or juice when he wants milk..or the wrong top or the "stupid" shoes :LOL he can be totally ok one minute and then the next hes flipped right out yelling at me that he hates me :LOL and that I am a "bad boy" not sure where he comes up with this stuff *sigh*

On the flipside as intense as he is ..he is very articulate and bright for his age.. I just find his circuits get overloaded super fast! some days he makes me feel like I have fought 2 wars :LOL
 

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: video frist thing at this house too. and some crackers. dd wakes up early and in a mood everyday. our theory is that she wakes up because she is hunrgy but not really ready to be awake yet. something to raise her blood sugar and a little tv zoning works most days.

amy
 

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My son, now 3 and 2 months has a lot of tantrums. I can't even keep track when they happen anymore. Its very hard keeping my cool. I usually lose my patience when I'm tired and strung out. I also get frustrated when I look to my neighbor's kids who seem so compliant and aren't AP kids. I have been reading Dr. Sear's discipline book to help me out. But somehow, he has always given the impression that AP kids can avoid the whole tantrum phase. I do need to remind myself that he is a strong-willed child and this trait will become an asset one day. Distraction works sometimes too!
:
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsupialmuma
On the flipside as intense as he is ..he is very articulate and bright for his age.. I just find his circuits get overloaded super fast! some days he makes me feel like I have fought 2 wars :LOL
Yep, today he put a penny in my seatbelt clip.
I was upset, I think understandably, cause I can't get it out and now the seatbelt doesn't work. He tells me "It's OK mom, it's not broken! It was a dime and I didn't have anything to do with it!"

It's hard to keep a straight face sometimes. :LOL
 

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Boy I am feeling better all the time!!!! LOL! And I have to ask as a pp just said that Dr. Sears alluded that maybe AP kids don't 'suffer' through the terrible two/three's? I know most of us are as AP as we can get so I don't think his assessment is accurate, do you? The one thing I know that is the best help is when she is melting down in a big way, I can nurse her, she usually never says no to this and it takes the edge away...however, there have been those instances when growling toddler is taken to breast, has a nice long and happy snack session, we stop, I kiss her and set her down and she remembers where she left off and starts up with 'but I SAID I WANTED...' etc!!!! What do you all think of AP stopping the two's three's stuff???

Thanks and blessings,
Carol and Abi who looks so sweet ALL of the time, who'd know!!


"....if you give any child a hard time,hurting them, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you'll soon wish you hadn't. You'd be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck." Jesus (the Message bible)
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Seattlemom
Dr. Sears alluded that maybe AP kids don't 'suffer' through the terrible two/three's? ..... What do you all think of AP stopping the two's three's stuff???[/I]
I think, it a perfect AP world, possibly AP kids don't have AS BAD of temper tantrums. Or maybe it depends on the kid. I think that we have an advantage, with nursing and all that AP parenting entails, but I also think it's normal for kids to get frustrated for this or that reason, or have a need that they don't have the ability to accuratly communicate. I think that AP and GD can't/won't prevent tantrums, but the tools and understanding of the philosophy can (sometimes) give the parent a way to help the child and the parent get through the difficult stages of development. I know that I don't always react in a positive way, but I'm learning, and growing, just like DS is. I'm bound to have a tantrum or ten of my own.

Ok, it's late, I'm starting to ramble, better go before I get too inchoherant.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Leetah987
I'm bound to have a tantrum or ten of my own.
Yeah, me too!
:

Thanks to the OP for starting this thread. I have had many a meltdown w/ dd, mostly relating to her not napping. I'm usually able to handle the other tantrums by distracting myself and trying to be understanding.

As to whether the AP thing prevents tantrums, I don't think it prevents them. Because I don't believe that we were meant to do this (parenting) isolated in our homes and/or out and about for hours day in and day out, I think that once upon a time, tantrums were not what they are today. I think when there were more people around to share the responsiblities of 'mothering', more people could tell what dc wanted/needed and/or could distract them. This is assuming that the children weren't just spanked and left to cry. I'm not sure how much GD went on in times past.

Just my 2 cents.
Sus
 

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My DD's are 5 and 8 and the other day I said "I am so tired of every single morning starting out with a fight" to which my 5 yo replied "Gee mom, I figured you'd be used to it by now, we've been doing this all our lives" :LOL
 
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