[shannon0218]

Alright, I need all your opinions and knowledge!!!!!
For those of you who don't know me, I've had 3 m/c's, this baby was conceived by IUI at a fertility clinic where I HATE the doctor. It was decided between me, dh and my reg OB (who we love) to "use" the fertility clinic for what we needed in the early part of the pregnancy, however my regular OB is the one in charge. I know that she doesn't do internal exams especially in early pregnancy at least not as a routine thing, however, I don't know why and I may not have a chance to speak with her before my appt with the recurrant m/c God on Tuesday morning. I'm certain he will want to do one, I've had a pap recently.... so here are my questions...

1) Why do they say they want to do one--I want to be armed with rebuttals to his "answers" before I get there--he's into scare tactics which when I told my OB about the ones he used to try to get me to wait, she said they were a load of sh!t.
2) What are the reasons NOT to have one done?? Links, stuff I could print out, anything like that would be great.

TIA!!
Shannon

 

[kimberlylibby]

Well, if you've had any m/c, the last thing in the world you want is someone sticking things inside of you to trigger ANY kind of uterine action. I'm sure they don't want you having sex, so why would they stick extraneous items inside your vagina?

It doesn't tell them anything. *IF* you were miscarrying, a vaginal exam could not prevent it.

It increases your risk of infection with each exam, because you're introducing foreign objects to your vaginal area.

s I've been there too many times (5 m/c) and it sucks. My 5th pregnancy brought me my gorgeous daughter and this is my 7th pregnancy and I'm 32w2d with another daughter...

Kimberly

 

[Lucysmama]

Everything Kimmy said.

You don't want anyone poking around in there. And some doctors are less than gentle during internals.

If you are still uncertain at the time of your visit, just say no! :LOL I would err on the side of caution here, which is definitely refusing them. Even if you aren't ready to make your case, just say you don't want one. "No thanks, not today." Be prepared for "Oh, you have to have one!" Just repeat yourself till they get it.

 

[AmandasMom]

I had internal exams at every visit with my last one, I cramped and bled each time. I wasn't aware that I had a choice. Shortly after having dd, I found mothering and a whole new world opened up. Now I have a new doc and she is perfectly fine with me not having any internal exams. She hasn't even asked since the first appt. I don't see how anything that caused me to bleed and cramp could be any good.

 

[mattjule]

Having a copy of your recent pap is a good idea. That way they can't say they need to have a recent one done to make sure nothing abnormal is going on.

 

[AmandasMom]

I did have an internal for a pap, but that was just before I got pregnant. If I were pregnant and didn't have a pap, I would get the pap done.

 

[mattjule]

That's what I meant, take the results with you or they won't believe how recent you had one and they will push for another.

The other ridiculous thing they like to do is feel your pelvic outlet. Like where your bones are in early pg can tell anyone anything about how well you will be able to birth a baby at the end.

 

[Kiki Runs]

Everyone has had good suggestions. If I may make one more.....

I'd go in and play dumb. Just not even consider that they may want to do an exam (well, not really, since you're already considering it, but get my drift?). If it's suggested, be surprised - why would you want to do that? My other doc never suggested this....can you tell me more about why you want to?

Make THEM explain the "benefits" of an exam. Maybe they do have a "good" reason (I can't think of one, but let them do the work). Let them tell you their reasons and then "think" about it - tell them you'll have to make a decision AFTER you've done your research. A responsible doc, IMO, would not want to pressure you into anything - they should be glad you're being a resonsible patient and educating yourself!!

Good luck.

Kinsey

 

[tofumama]

Honestly, if all your annual tests are up to date (and I am sure yours are) there is no reason. Testing for STD's is one reason they do it. If you know you and your partner are monogamous,(which they may ask, whatever grrr) and you've had a recent pap, then I say refuse it. It is your right. Even though I will be due for a pap in sept, I am planning on refusing an exam, and I haven't had any m/c. I just don't want them messing around in there, ykwim? Bottom line, its your body. The internal has NOTHING to do with the baby.

 

[applejuice]

Go in with your DH and another supportive person.

My own personal suggestion is not to play dumb because they love you to be dumb so that they can talk down to you and put you on the defensive.

Tell them the truth - that you have had three miscarriages, that you DO NOT want to miscarry this baby, that your own OB is in charge NOW and your own OB will do the internals.

I refused a tetanus shot once for a dog bite (job related) and the doctor said to me," Now what is that matter here - are you afraid of a little itty, bitty shot?"

I said "NO!" that I wanted to go to my own physician for the shot. This doctor was the one I was sent to by the city I worked for - the dog bite was job related, so I had to go to this "clown" as part of the workers' compensation follow-up.

 

[Quirky]

Why would you even need to get undressed? You're pregnant (YAY!

) and his job is done. All you need to say is, thanks, but my regular OB just performed one and everything is fine.

He is not going to learn anything from sticking his fingers inside you that he doesn't already know.

 

[Kiki Runs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by applejuice My own personal suggestion is not to play dumb because they love you to be dumb so that they can talk down to you and put you on the defensive.

Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have said "dumb". How's shocked/surprised instead? Like everyone else has said, there's no reason why this doc should be doing an internal exam, so I guess I'd be "shocked" at the suggestion. That's what I meant, although I realize (now) it's not what I said. Sorry.

Quote:

Originally Posted by applejuice Tell them the truth - that you have had three miscarriages, that you DO NOT want to miscarry this baby, that your own OB is in charge NOW and your own OB will do the internals.

However, I'd also "grill" them about why. Who knows? Maybe they're just doing it b/c it's "procedure"

and you can make them THINK about what they're doing.

Kinsey

 

[dynamicdoula]

My suggestion to you is: don't sit on the exam table (after they've taken your BP, etc.), and don't get undressed. Where can he go from there?

 

[shannon0218]

Thanks for all the suggestions guys. As I said, this guy is into scare tactics, last time I saw him he was pissed off that my rhuematoligist told us we couldn't put ttc on hold any longer adn it was now or never. He wanted to do endometrial biopsies and an HSG, at first he told me the hsg was to see if I was ovulating, I was doing his damn cycle monitoring as well as having been pregnant 3 times in 8 monts--ummm, I don't think ovulation is the issue. My regular OB had already said she didn't recomend the biopsies in my case, I'm on high dose steroids and had an infection after my d&c, her take was that the biopsies only tell for sure if you're ovulating and what your progesterone measures for THAT cycle, so I had refused that. She and I both did tons of research and decided we would be going with the baby aspirin/heparin route this pregnancy. Well because he was pissed that we would dare question his plans, he tried to tell me that baby aspirin causes brain tumors in babies and that pregnant women die all the time from heparin treatment. Oh that and that I NEEDED to get a rubella vaccine (failed to tell me that my immunity actually came back borderline) and that it wouldn't hurt me to get a live vaccine while in an immuno-suppressed state. I left there in such a confused and upset state. I called my OB and talked to her on the phone and about 5 minutes in of me telling her all he said, she burst out with "what a load of crap!!"
I just need some strenth to refuse him--I know he's not above lying to me to get his way, but don't want to cut ties with the clinic as I get my lab results back in an hour, dh can stay for early U/S's etc.
From the sounds of it there is NO reason he needs to do one, so now I feel better!!

 

[polka123]

Shannon,
I had an internal @ 7.5 wks.
Nothing happened with me.
Basically I'm the one that inserted & held the wand for most of the time.
I've had 2 m/c's in the past.
Are you gonna stop GIO w/ DH ? Thats way more evasive than an internal U/S
It's a personal decision.
I had an amnio with DS also & that procedure was a piece of cake.
ABSOLUTELY NO VAX'S - go visit the health section about Vax's !!!

 

[shannon0218]

No no, not an internal U/S, that I am having done on Tuesday, I mean like a pelvic exam--as in his hand feeling around.
We've been advised any spotting or pain and stop sex.

 

[polka123]

oh duh. silly me....
well int. exam, I guess I'd want til I got to my 3d tri.
My docs don't even do them until the last mon &* then as needed.

 

[shannon0218]

Yeah, that's what concerns me, my OB seems pretty thorough but laid back, she sees no reason to be irratating the cervix, however the nurse when I booked the U/S followed by first "obstetrical" exam told me he'd be "examining" me. I may be worrying over nothing, who knows, but I feel better now about telling him to take a long walk off a short pier. If my regular OB saw a need to do something I likley would not question her, but this guy wants to do so many things that he can't give me reasons for, that I question everything.

 

[blessed2bamommie]

sounds like fertility clinic doc wants to run up your tab with all the tests.

Sounds like you've had a pap, then they have no reason to do *that*. The other reason they want to be diggin up there is the STDs. I've been married for several years and I refused. When I m/ced I had a pap and started spotting after that. Until my pregnancy test came back she thought I was starting my period!

I just didn't want to go there and then the whole infection thing. Its *your* body! You've had a recent pap. (I planned to get one before I got pg

) I'm not sure how invasive STD is, since I refused. I'm not sure if they just do a vaginal swab or they have to bother your cervix. My *first* practice wanted a copy of my pap. It was just over a year old and all had been clean. Some want to see your pelvic size and all; but, hey, he's not delivering you, right?

Sounds like you've got a good OB.

That's the important part.