[Satori]

I just went though a m/c and had to endure going through full labor and I feel no different then after I had my c/s. Seriously, I'm in the same amount of pain, actually needing more drugs then when I had my c/s. Its been 2 days and I still feel like someone used my uterus as a punching bag and I'm needing 800mg Motrin and wanting to take the Vicadin during the day but cant because I'm alone with dd so I have to wait till night to get some relief. I'm not buying the you heal faster line at this point. With my c/s I actually went shopping on the way home and felt better then I do now. At this point I'm planning on just scheduling a repeat c/s for my next preg because I'm just not buying the vbac party line at this point feeling this way. (before the m/c I was actually planning a ubac). Am I missing something?

 

[doctorjen]

No guarantee on anything, as you know, I'm sure. I meet a lot of moms who feel pretty awful following a miscarriage, though - I myself thought my one miscarriage, at only 6 1/2 weeks, was worse than my 4 natural labors. Maybe at least partly, too, because I was so devastated emotionally as well?
I wouldn't make a decision about birth solely based on an experience with a loss. There are just too many other variables involved.
I'm so sorry you lost your baby. I hope you're feeling better soon.

 

[stafl]

I am so sorry about your loss, but you can't possibly compare that to the natural birth of a live baby, any more than you can compare it to your cesarean experience. It's not the same. You know why a vbac already, if you were planning one for yourself before you lost your baby. You know it's safer. You know the dangers of the drugs and the hospital interventions, and the surgery itself. You know the risks of choosing a cesarean. But you don't know about *all* the benefits of having a natural, vaginal birth because you have not experienced it yourself. It is an incredible thing that nobody can possibly describe to you in all its wonder and glory. But even that is not a given. Lots of women have traumatic vaginal births, lots of them. But lots of women have incredible natural births, too. It's a gamble, a risk you have to take, a leap of faith that it will be the wondrous birth Ina May describes in her books. But there are no guarantees, either way. You've had a cesarean, but you don't know what the next one might be like. All births are different, even different births for the same mother. It's not the best time for you to make up your mind about the birth of your next child right now. Wait, give yourself time to greive the loss. When it's time to think about it, you will know, and you will make the best decision for you and your unborn child, or else you will live with the doubt that you might not have made the right decision the rest of your life. Trust in yourself. Trust your instincts. Trust your heart to lead you to the right path. You can do it.

 

[Storm Bride]

I've had three miscarriages, two of them at 12 weeks. I've also had 2 c-sections - one an emergency, and one "planned" two days in advance. I have to say that of all those experiences, the 20+ hours of labour before my first section was the easiest and least painful. My miscarriages were worse than my labour was. My c-sections were both worse than my miscarriages (except possibly my second m/c, which was about 10X worse than the other two combined) in terms of physical pain.

I have trouble knowing how to feel or what to say to women who have your kind of experience with c-sections, to be honest. Mine have been the absolute worst experiences of my life - I can't even begin to imagine going shopping on the way home! I've come across this before, and it's beyond my ability to even imagine feeling that good after a section. Every c-section is different, and the physical pain from my second one didn't go away for about six months...possibly a little more, which was much longer than with my first. There's really no way to tell what any of these experiences will feel like based on a prior experience, imo.

I'm trying for VBA2C right now, and trying desperately to be optimistic...because I can't imagine coping with my toddler and my newborn in the condition I've been in after each of my sections. Just a newborn was hard enough.

 

[Rach]

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[OnTheFence]

I've had multiple miscarriages and two csections. I have to say my emergency csection was a nightmare, as was my first miscarriage at 10-11 weeks -- way worse than my planned cesarean.

While I support and think VBAC is safe in some cases only you can decide what is best for you. If you want to VBAC -- great, if you don't -- that's great too. There are no guarantees either way you go. My last csection was better than plenty of VBACs, vaginal deliviers (including homebirths) I know of. I felt great, had minimal discomfort, and overall had a wonderful experience.

I think right now you are grieving, give yourself time to heal, and when you are pregnant again you can revisit having a VBAC or a planned cesarean.

Hugs to you,
Kim

 

[dlm194]

I'm very sorry for your loss. Don't make any decisions right now. Take time to heal. I lost a baby at 12 weeks and went through a horrible d&c. I'll take 10 c-sections over another miscarriage b/c in addition to the physical pain of losing a child, the emotional pain is so consuming. At least with a c-s, you get the most wonderful reward in the world for your pain.

I remember a lot of pain after my c-s (and 29 hours of labor preceding it). Although I "forget" enough that I will do it again if it means healthy baby, I definitely don't want to be medically managed like that again. I hate the thought of getting cut open again. However, I think the whole process of birth, no matter how it happens, does help empower you and help with healing vs all the negative emotions surrounding loss.

Come to think of it.... i went shopping on the way home from my c-s. We stopped at a medical store for nursing supplies. It was about 100°F and it took me about 20 minutes to walk across the parking lot.

 

[altarflame]

Maternal death is 10 times more likely in a c/s. My 3rd baby spent 2 weeks in the NICU for c/s related complications. And I've also suffered, over the course of my 3 surgeries, a bruised lung, hallucinations from the drugs, and almost dying from blood loss after #2.

Everyone is different. Every experience is different. But in general, natural birth is drastically safer and, well...natural.

I also had a very painful, full on labor m/c. It took almost 3 days total, and included my water breaking on day 2, and LOTS of crawling, walking, showering, etc for pain management....the only thing I really took out of that experience as positive is that, when left to it's own devices, my body DID "work". I'm not just defective, as my OB would lead me to believe...

I'm also sorry for your loss, and I understand that you probably have a very hurting, sad outlook on everything at this time. But trust me when I say...the more c-sections you have, the more dangerous they become (because of having to cut through and stitch up more and more scar tissue, necessitating more blood loss and time open) and the harder it is to find a care provider who will "allow" you to vbac. It took me the first 17 weeks of my pregnancy, searching diligently every weekday through phone numbers and emails, to find anyone to take me on with 3 c/s under my belt...and I have to drive over an hour each way to every visit

: I'm just saying, you should do some reading and research before you make that call for elective repeat...surgery has major blood clot and infection dangers, and each one puts you further away from ever getting to hold a newborn right away, put it straight to the breast, etc....

Tina