[Super~Single~Mama]

My baby usually takes a 2-3hour nap in the middle of the day. Today I have nursed him to sleep 3 times so far and he has slept a TOTAL of 45 minutes after unlatching from my boob.

I'm EXHAUSTED and really, really, really wanted to nap with him BUT HE WON'T SLEEP!!!!!!!!

I've tried swaddling, not swaddling, lying next to him, not lying next to him and he won't sleep!!

I NEED SLEEP!!!!

And I have little to no help b/c my boyfriend is a full time law student, along with ALL of my friends and they are all getting ready for final exams and my family is 3,000 miles away. I'm sitting here crying b/c I'm so tired and I can't sleep when my baby is awake.

I hate being a mom.

 

[jt'smum]

ohh

....I don't know! Wish I did, can ya go for a walk? I know your tired but maybe he needs to get out for a bit...

 

[CartersMommy]

good luck...mine usually has slept twice by now, and I THINK he might have slept for 20 minutes. he's in his walker chewing on a book. some days are normal and some days aren't. maybe it's something you ate, if u'r bf'g. i'm thinking i need to lay off the brown rice- i think that might be our issue. hope it gets better 4 u.

 

[ps4624]

I feel so bad for you - i felt the same way for the first 2 weeks of my daughter's life. I know it will get better eventually - I think you might have to put him in a swing or crib, make sure he's safe and just take a nap. You won't be able to be an effective parent if you're hysterically tired. Good luck!

 

[Super~Single~Mama]

He's a really happy baby - but he wakes up alot to eat at night which I expect so I don't get much sleep at night. He's not even really upset right now - he just wants to play and I want to sleep. When I'm not paying attention to him though he gets mad.

All I want is some sleep. The stroller is in the car unfortunately so I can't take him for a walk - I'm WAY too tired to try wearing him. I tried taking a shower to see if it would wake me up some and it didnt work.

Also - I have no problem letting someone else watch the baby, its just that all the people I would ask are getting ready for law school final exams and have zero time. I don't know anyone else in my area.

 

[littlebabydoll]

He probably just has gained new awareness of the world and is excited. Can you call upon a relative to help get you nap time? Also, try napping him in dark room with white noise, less distracting. Ive had days like this! Just take it one day at a time. It wont alawys be like this.

 

[Super~Single~Mama]

I'm such a bad mother. I'm not meant to do this. I just am not meant to be a mom.

I hate being a mom. I HATE IT. Ugh...why can't I just go back in time and change all the decisions I made in the last year and undo it?

I'm seriously considering getting my tubes tied so that I never have to go through this again. It's been 3 hard hard months for me. I really wish my family was closer.

 

[MoonWillow]

Quote:

Originally Posted by thyra I'm such a bad mother. I'm not meant to do this. I just am not meant to be a mom. I hate being a mom. I HATE IT. Ugh...why can't I just go back in time and change all the decisions I made in the last year and undo it?

Mama!

This is such a hard job, and sleep deprivation makes it all that much harder. Honestly I don't think that anyone can prepare us for just how hard it really is. And to have no support is well, not natural. It sounds to me like you might have PPD as well. That needs to be addressed because it can be very serious. Please, please be kind to yourself and seek any help that you can.
My kids are a little older and my mom is only 45 minutes away but I STILL find it hard sometimes. It's not as hard now though as when they were infants.
This doesn't make you a bad mom, it just makes you a mom. And it gets better, but your needs have to be addressed.

 

[Lynn08]

You'll feel better once you've slept. Motherhood can be overwhelming enough, but when you're tired and don't have a support network, it seems impossible! You are exactly the mama that your lo needs. You are not a bad mother, you are just exhausted and overwhelmed. Go easy on yourself.

 

[dawncayden]

Just take it one moment at a time

Your not a bad mom. We aren't meant to be raising babies all on our own with no village women to support us.

Can you find any mama's in 'Finding your Tribe' in your area? Are there any new mom and baby support groups in your area?

 

[Limabean1975]

Oh my goodness, no! You are not a bad mom! You care so much, you are trying so hard...yes, letting him cry was not a good decision but that does NOT make you a bad mom...it makes you a desperate exhausted mom. That stage was really hard for me, too - so many people say the newborn stage is the best, but no way was it for me. We have had soooo many good times since, you will too.

 

[accountclosed2]

Repeat to yourself IT GETS BETTER!

I've been there. Only way I coped in the early months was that DH left work early or worked from home a lot. also, we tried to keep busy, with music groups, story time at the library, coffee mornings. Ask for help!!!! Can you join a mother's group? Ask a friend to take your baby for a walk for half an hour? You are not failing. Sometimes it is hard. It is harder for some Mama-Baby pairs too. It isn't your fault. You are a great mama!

Ask for help, and try to get through it, sleep deprived etc. DD got a bit more settled around 3 months. Then around 6 months she was more ok being put down next to me, so that made things easier, and at 8 1/2 months she started crawling, that helped a lot! Then at 10 months she started sleeping a bit better. Little steps. It may not seem that significant, but each change was huge.

 

[RebeccaWo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AislinCarys Repeat to yourself IT GETS BETTER!

This. Times a million billion.

 

[LadyCatherine185]

i feel the same way as you some days.

but it HAS gotten SO much better.. today DS crawled around the living room for like.. 30 minutes by himself!

: the sleeping is still not better, but at least he is happy to play by himself some during the day now.

 

[filiadeluna]

I feel your pain. I love my DD more than life itself, but when I am sleep deprived it is soooooo hard to enjoy her & I too feel like a horrible mom for wanting some time to myself

, especially when she gets fussy (quite often). I do not have much support, either, as my mom is one hour away, ILs are across the country, and most of my friends work full time. DH helps when he is home, but cannot feed her until we introduce bottles for when I go back to work. If you need to commisserate, feel free to PM me.

Nobody ever said parenthood was easy, and those who do are lying.

 

[JessicaS]

The newborn stage is ROUGH!

They cannot sit up or do much and they need constant loving and attention.

It does get easier.

I am so sorry, you aren't a bad mom. Being a mom *is* hard but it is really amazing too. You are just stuck in a rough patch.

Do you think he might have a tummy ache or is teething?

 

[HappiLeigh]

I'm sorry mama! We all have those rough moments! My DH was 1L when DD was born, so we went through the whole program with a babe and toddler. It's also rough feeling like you have to take their need to study into consideration. Hope tomorrow goes so much better!

 

[rzberrymom]

Have you tried putting him in a carrier and taking a walk? This is the ONLY way I could often get my DD to sleep. Some folks have luck with a stroller too, but my DD seemed to like the rhythm and the motion of the carrier.

Good luck mama! It gets better!

 

[calpurnia]

thyra, i've noticed your posts around. i am in a bit of a similar situation to you - young, no other friends with babies, grad student, partner is grad student - it's tough, i know. but it DOES get better. for me months 3 - 6 were probably the worst. baby wants something else but doesn't know what it wants, you want some more of your life back but can't get it yet. it will get better, i promise

 

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

OP, you need a better support system pronto! You MAY be suffering from PPD, but you are definetly suffering from sleep deprivation. I have been there, and you are a different person when youve had no sleep. You dont think the same, you certainly dont act the same. My parents and inlaws both live within 4 miles of me and I ask for help ALL.THE.TIME. It really does take a village to raise a child. I am sure your DP is under stress from tests, But how would he feel If something were to happen to his woman or child? You need to get support from somewhere. Seek out help NOW before things get way worse. And yes, they CAN get worse if you don’t take action! SO many hugs to you, I cannot even fathom how you are getting through it on your own, you poor thing!