Why would someone say this to me?

1413 Views 18 Replies 18 Participants Last post by pacifica, Apr 18, 2006

mimid

Discussion Starter · Apr 4, 2006

I was at Target getting the last car seat and 3 head support thingees. The cashier put 2 into a bag and asked if there were two. I figured she would notice the other one so I couldn't really lie, so I told her there were 3. She was pretty shocked and went into the whole "wow!" thing and then the guy behind me said, "I thought she said there were 3." and the cashier says she did and the guy says, "I'd shoot myself."

:

I had no idea what to do I was so in shock so I just gave the bland smile and ignored him as he went on about how he wouldn't be able to do it. I ended up leaving 3 bags there and had to go back. I called dh from the car and he said I should have asked the man if he had a gun or wanted me to get one for him. And all the while I'm telling the babes not to listen to the stupid man and he doesn't know any better. I mean, hearing that kind of thing has got to be bad for them. At least they are still inside and only get muffled sound.

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AmyY

· #2 · Apr 4, 2006

People say this because they are idiots.

That's a hug for you and the three little mimids.

The comments will be stranger once they are out. I got used to fending people off at the mall and other places. Fortunately, as the girls are older and interact more directly with folks, the, um, odd comments have decreased.

I'm so sorry you had to hear something like that. It was totally inappropriate- to say the least. I hope the next ten people you meet say "what a blessing!" about the trips.

Because you are, indeed, triply blessed.

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twins10705

· #3 · Apr 4, 2006

yeah, it can be annoying -- I've heard this several times, and this is with two so be prepared for way more attention when your little bundles arrive. I think it's unavoidable, unless one never goes out. I just smile and nod most of the time, I don't let it bother me anymore.

Kathryn

· #4 · Apr 4, 2006

I just don't understand people like that. I lurk on this forum all the time because I'm so in love with multiples. I always get so jealous of parents with them even though I know that it's a major struggle. I just don't see how anyone could see it as anything but a huge blessing.

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mama_at_home

· #5 · Apr 4, 2006

What a jerk! You are very blessed and it sounds like you are doing great if you are due in the Spring with triplets and are still out shopping! How many weeks are you?

2+twins

· #6 · Apr 4, 2006

I think people are just clueless sometimes. I have a friend who is generally a very negative person. She has 3 kids of her own and when she found out about my twins she said something to the effect (this was to my dh) that she didn't know if she should congratulate me or not. And then she commented about how I'll need to keep a prescription to Prozac (jokingly, but still). I really wish she could be happy for me, even if it's not what she'd want. Instead I get to hear how she was so overwhelmed when her 3rd was born that she can't imagine how bad it must be for me with 3 & 4 at the same time. Blah blah blah. It is hurtful and annoying. Hang in there. Sounds like you're doing great!

lovetimestwo

· #7 · Apr 4, 2006

So sorry.

Here is a website of a triplet mom. Great site btw! This is a link to her page which includes some of the things she has heard. Also scroll down to her "Triplet Card" she hands out. The text is more appropriate for after the babies are born. I think you should make some of your own!

Congrats on your babies!

http://www.angusandthetriplets.com/e...ngtriplets.htm

AngelBee

· #8 · Apr 4, 2006

How rude.

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JesiLynne

· #9 · Apr 4, 2006

:

I for one am dying to have triplet girls, that guy just doesnt realize that kids are a blessing

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1Plus2

· #10 · Apr 5, 2006

People can really be so rude.

: I still get weird and rude comments from people when I take my girls out but it was over the top when they were really little. If someone said (which seems to be a crowd favorite) "Better you then me", I would shoot back "You're right...it is better me then you." One of the most popular ones is "You really have your hands full!" I think most of us here say "Better full then empty." I would have probably given the guy at Target a nasty look and said "Well then thank God I am the one blessed with these babies and not you!"

Hold your head high, Mama!! You are TRULY carrying a miracle with you everywhere you go. Don't let the naysayers bring you down.

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mimid

Discussion Starter · #11 · Apr 5, 2006

Thanks everyone! This is a favorite topic on my triplet group, but I just never expected someone to say it to me when I was pregnant. And when dh took me back to get my stuff, the cute maternity skirt was gone.

That was my last shopping trip other than for food or with my mom for a changing table, so I won't have to deal with that again (hopefully!)

Nancy, I'm 31 weeks and my doc has no idea why I'm still going shopping. He says I'm unlike any other triplet pregnancy he's ever had.

Lovetimestwo thank you for that site! That card is classic and I need to spend a lot more time reading the rest.

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royaloakmi

· #12 · Apr 5, 2006

All I can say is that if you were out shopping at 31 weeks with trips, those people should have been bowing down and doing prostrations . . . seriously - you are doing awesome!!

I think every mother of multiples should have "stealth" mode for her pregnancy and at least the first year so people won't notice and make stupid comments -- mine are 2.5 now and people don't even realize they're twins, which I admit is nice after two+ years of fending off annoying people.

mamadawg

· #13 · Apr 5, 2006

I've heard that way too many times myself and I "only" have twins. I'm sorry.

: It's really helpful to stop listening to strangers when you have multiples.

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Thursday Girl

· #14 · Apr 5, 2006

i think you're lucky. i really wanted twins, triplets would be fun but hard. but i don't think of it as a bad think, it's a lucky thing.

that website is neat b/c i live in the same town as the mom. i'd like to meet her. how cool would that be?

courtney

sarahloughmiller

· #15 · Apr 8, 2006

People are just stupid sometimes. They just don't realize how bad they sound. I was at the store the other day and someone asked which one was my favorite. I of course love them both equally but for different reasons. Like if I had a favorite I would say it out loud anyway.

Good job hanging in there and still shopping at 31 weeks!

kangamom

· #16 · Apr 9, 2006

About the "favorite thing", I told someone I don't have favorite kids, but favorite ages. Of course I love all the ages, lol. He says, "My mom had 9 kids. And I'm her favorite." I said, "Yeah, I bet your 8 brothers and sisters all say that too."

I love that triplet card. I'm printing it to see if I can makes something like that. I get so sick and tired of all the stupid comments on my babies. There have been times I've actually hid at home just to escape all the drama and attention we get from them. The thing that really burns me up is all the fuss people make over the babies and then barely even notice the older kids. My babies are the lucky ones to have such great sisters. I can't beleive how great they are with the babies. Even my 3 year old was just telling me the other day how much she loves her baby brother and sister, even though they cry and they're loud sometimes and they poop all the time and take lots of attention from Mommy and Daddy. I'm so proud of her!

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soygurl

· #17 · Apr 16, 2006

Wow, what a horible person! I can't imagine what goes through some people's heads to say something like that! Multiples are a wonderful gift! (Like a PP, I'm just a lurker her due to my love/facination of multiples, lol!)

A little OT: did you know that those head support thinks are a huge no-no for use in car seats? All aftermarket products (anything that didn't come with the seat itself) should be considered unsafe as they haven't been crash tested with ALL types of seats (saying they were crash tested on the package doesn't make them safe with all seats), and they will almost always void the car seat warente, meaning that if the seat were to fail (g-d forbid!) in an accident, the car seat company would not be heal liable. It's MUCH better to use rolled blankets on either side of the baby (or babies in this case

) to offer support, or you can cut a pool noodle in half lenghwise and cover it in fabric (or just leave it alone) and put one half on either side of each baby to offer support. Both of these options are purfectly safe, and will not void yoru warente. For more specific info you can go here: http://cpsafety.com/articles/aftermarket.aspx and the bottom link on that page will show each manufactuers position on aftermarket products.

I'm sorry for the unsolicited advice, and I promise I'm not trying to be mean or rude (goodness knows you've dealt with enough of that!), but many parents just don't know that these products are so bad because they keep being sold.

: It's really anoying to car seat geeks and advocates like me, and I couldn't live with myself if I didn't mention it...

I'm sure the hastel of returning them is the LAST thing you need, but PLEASE don't use them! (Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions)

Hugs to ward off futre thoughtless comments!

~Kelsie

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lauriebeth

· #18 · Apr 17, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by mimid
I was at Target getting the last car seat and 3 head support thingees. The cashier put 2 into a bag and asked if there were two. I figured she would notice the other one so I couldn't really lie, so I told her there were 3. She was pretty shocked and went into the whole "wow!" thing and then the guy behind me said, "I thought she said there were 3." and the cashier says she did and the guy says, "I'd shoot myself."

:

I had no idea what to do I was so in shock so I just gave the bland smile and ignored him as he went on about how he wouldn't be able to do it. I ended up leaving 3 bags there and had to go back. I called dh from the car and he said I should have asked the man if he had a gun or wanted me to get one for him. And all the while I'm telling the babes not to listen to the stupid man and he doesn't know any better. I mean, hearing that kind of thing has got to be bad for them. At least they are still inside and only get muffled sound.

Im sorry you got that response ! (I am not the mom of multiples, just lurking

)

But all I have to say is that I would love to have multiples. I have always wished that I was a twin, and I think that the bond between your babies as triplets will be so amazing! My friends as a kid were twins and they were clsoer than sisters, they were (of course) twins...

He was just trying to be funny but didnt realize what he was saying. I had a problem in my pregnancy that made me get very large, and most people assumed I was having multiples. They never thought twice about saying rude things.

Congrats of THREE bundles of joy!

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pacifica

· #19 · Apr 18, 2006

My twins are 2 1/2 and I don't know what the effects of others words will be on my boys. We live 2500 miles away from any family, so a lot of social interaction is from people we don't know very well. Rude strangers drive me nuts!!! My new hated phrase is "Wide load". When would that EVER be appropriate? People say it all the time about my double stroller! Uggg!

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