Mothering Forum banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
17,826 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It has been about 2.5 months since my miscarriage, and I am feeling significantly more OK than I was even a couple of weeks ago. That being said, I had a rough evening today. I went to my sisters house visit my niece and nephew and let them play with my 3 boys while I was there, and help my dad out babysitting. My nephew is 3.5 months old and just the sweetest thing in the world. I was doing OK, until I was alone just talking to my nephew and looking at his little feet and toes and talking baby talk to him. Suddenly, I had to hand him to my dad and excuse myself to the bathroom. I turned on the fan and sobbed uncontollable for a couple of minutes. I pulled myself together and was fine for the rest of the evening until the drive home. It seems like it just hit me again what a baby really is and what they mean to a family, and it was like a blow to the stomach. I just kept thinking that Therese had little tiny toes that I will never get to see and that she would have been a little baby just like my nephew if she had lived, not just a dream or a thought, but real and solid. It really broke my heart all over again. I just feel so awful right now, and I just wonder if I will ever be able to see a pregnant woman or hold a baby without longing for my Therese?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,235 Posts
I don't have the experience to give an answer to your question, and honestly, just one day after m/c, I'm wondering the same thing. Just wanted to say <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> to you. That sounds like a rough time you went through there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
92 Posts
It has been a month since I had my daughter, Annie, at 21 weeks and I just can't handle seeing pregnant women at all. You aren't alone. I do know it does get better with time. My first pregnancy was a m/c at 12 weeks and I grieved for a long time but it did get better. Time does heal, it doesn't make you forget but it does heal.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,939 Posts
It gets better with time. It's been 9 months since my m/c and, while I still have bad moments, they're definately not as often or as severe as they were. My sis is in the process of adopting a baby and for a long time I couldn't talk about it at all. Just recently, it's gotten easier. Her baby will be about the age mine would have been, so I know she'll be a constant reminder, but I'm starting to have hope that I'll be okay with this. I'm actually tearing up just typing this, but I'm thinking it, and typing it, and not getting hysterical, so that's progress. It takes time, and things will never be "normal" (as in, the way you were before your loss) again, but it will get better.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Be gentle with yourselves.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
632 Posts
I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that feeling, that ache, that can catch you totally by surprise, and I am so sorry for your heartache. As far as things ever being 'normal', I think that it's possible you will always feel the loss in your heart, but the immediacy of the ache will eventually subside and you will be left with a 'new normal'. Your daughter and the role she played in your life will always be a part of you, and that needs to be honoured, so it is perfectly healthy (and normal) to be reminded of her. I wish you peace. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I think it just takes time. (I am still healing, too, so thank you for sharing your experience). Again, <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> .
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
17,826 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you mamas! It is good to know that things will get better and just to have a sympathetic ear.<br><br>
Today, my other sister called to tell me she had her u/s at 19 weeks and everything looks good. They think it is a girl, but baby wouldn't cooporate for sure. I could tell she called to tell me, but was concerned how I would react. She knew I would hear about it from someone else in the family if she hadn't called, and might have felt bad that she didn't call. It is all so confusing, because it is hard sometimes with one sister pregnant, and another with a new born, but I still want to be a big part of my nieces and nephews lives, even though it hurts sometimes. I am trying to find some type of balance, but when things hit out of the blue it is so hard. I was actually prepared for my sisters call today, so it wasn't bad, and I could be excited and happy for her without really falling apart. I am excited to have another niece, but I think I will always feel there is a gap between my nephew and niece to be that should have been filled by Therese. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
117 Posts
I would have been 25 weeks today :-(<br><br>
Talking to my oldest yesterday, we were doing a little quiz, one question was 'what has been the most disappointing thing in your life' I said that your dad and i divorced huh? she said, pppppbbbtt..no! i said what? she said that you lost the baby :-(<br><br>
Wow, that brought it all back, i about balled right there but held it together.<br><br>
I am ttc now, we tried this month, maybe it worked...<br><br>
Catherine
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
I'm so sorry for your loss, but please remember you're not alone.<br>
I lost my daughter 3 months ago and have been doing "fine". However<br>
this week 2 of my friends gave birth, and I realized that while they're nursing I'm sitting here writing thank you's for donations in my daughters memory and preparing to scatter her ashes<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">. I hope I can get back to some sort of normalcy soon too.<br><br>
My thoughts are with you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
459 Posts
(((hugs)))<br><br>
It got easier for me....with time.<br>
I think everyone is different, but we are all affected at unexpected moments. The heart works in mysterious ways and the mind is a bit confusing at times too!<br><br>
Allow yourself those times to grieve. It is still so fresh, despite your generally feeling better.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
135 Posts
(((HUGS))) It's been 18 months since I lost Ryan, and I can honestly say it does get better w/ time. It eventually gets to the point that it's not the "raw" type pain, just more of a dull ache. THere are days when I cry practically all day, but those days are getting more and more rare, thank goodness. I think I will always look at kids who are the same age he should be, and feel sad, thinking of all that we've missed.<br><br>
And I agree w/ the pp-let yourself grieve, no matter when those feelings come back. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top