[vermonter]

Hi all,

My dd is in a daycare with children who are atleast 6 months older than her so she is the baby at 17 months. The other kids are constantly telling her "No" or trying to tell her what to do. She seems to let their comments go in one ear and out the other and just does what she wants anyway. But still, I worry. I have no choice but to use daycare at this point and really love the setting and provider. It's an in home with only 4 other kids who happen to be the other kids from our street. I keep thinking, well, if we were in a real blended community where all the kids played together during the day the same thing would be happening, correct? Should I worry. I really make an effort to let her know htat she has choices she can make at home, try to avoid telling her no at home, and try to make her feel really special when she is with me. It just gets tiring though to hear other kids yelling/telling her what to do. Thanks for letting me vent.
Jen

 

[mammastar]

How does the care provider respond?? I think that would be the main question. Do you feel like she provides adequate positive reinforcement and individual attention to your daughter? Does she role model appropriate interaction to the older kids?

Obviously kids can get bossy with each other, and it can be natural to want to show the younger ones how to do stuff you've recently mastered yourself -- the impulse on the part of the older kids wouldn't bother me too much, I would be more concerned with how well the care provider handled the dynamic.

 

[girrllie]

I would address it with the care provider as well. She/he can do a lot to make sure the needs (or at least most of them) of all the children are attended to. I know when we're in playgroup, my DD gets toys pulled away, told No, etc. by some of the older kids and some same age kids. Sometimes I step in and sometimes I don't, depending on the situation. Some kids have to be encouraged to stand up for themselves more than other kids.

It sounds frustrating for you as a mom, so I would bring it up with the provider to ensure she's at least aware of what you would like to happen.