Mothering Forum banner

1 - 3 of 3 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
920 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 2 year old Evelyn is a ball of energy. She also wears her mood and feelings on her sleeve. She will on occasion (um, like almost daily) hit Sophie, my 4.5 year old, for one reason or another, or just for fun. My older girls is very gentle and patient and would never hit her back, in fact she just sits and takes it.<br><br>
Can I coach Sophie to get up and leave in this situation? I'm thinking of consequence for Evie. If she mistreats Sophie, she doesn't get to play with her.<br><br>
Would that work?<br><br>
Jen
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,205 Posts
I think its a logical consequence: If you hurt someone, you can't be near them.<br><br>
You might have to be careful how you apply it so that Sophie doesn't feel punished; for example, if Sophie was playing happily with, say, playdoh on the table, and the little one came up and hit her, having Sophie leave the table might mean the little one gets to play with Sophie's playdoh now. And that would be unfair to Sophie.<br><br>
In general, how you teach Sophie to deal with aggression from her little sister will be also giving her strategies for how to deal with aggression from anyone. "Leaving the situation" is one coping skill, but you might want her to have several coping skills to fit different situations. If she was on the playground and another child hit her, how would you want her to respond?<br><br>
I think, at best, it will only be useful in certain situations, such as when Sophie doesn't mind leaving.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,450 Posts
I agree with the pp but I would also teach the little one how to express her emotions without hitting. Evelyn is handling her frustration/anger/fear/whatever by hitting. She does not know any other way to deal with it. Talk to her about what is really wrong and teach her ways to handle her emotions. She will not change overnite but she will eventually learn not to hit if you stick with this method. You could also teach Sophie how to talk to Evelyn about what is really bothering Evelyn and how to help Evelyn handle the problem more positively.
 
1 - 3 of 3 Posts
Top