Mothering Forum banner

Will you find out the sex?

1142 Views 54 Replies 47 Participants Last post by  momma2girls
In a world where finding out the sex of your baby seems to be the norm, I'm wondering that the stats are like on this board.

I have never found out the sex of my babies. It wasn't even at option back in '98 and '00 for me. In fact, the hospital where I had all my scans, had explicit signs stating how for "ethical" reasons, they will not, under any circumstances, discuss the sex of the baby.

Now that I have a clinic near me that WILL tell me after 20 wks, we still will not find out the sex.

Team Green for me!
1 - 20 of 55 Posts
I have the last few times, for various reasons.

This baby isn't mine, but because s/he's so long awaited for (almost 5yrs in the making
:!) I imagine the parents will want to know and I won't judge them for that.
See less See more
With DD1 we found out, and with DD2 we never had an ultrasound, so we did not find out. DH would like to find out this time, but he agrees that an ultrasound just to find out gender would be silly, so our plan this time is not to find out unless we have a medically indicated ultrasound.
Team Green for me too! We found out with our first daughter when I just did everything the doctor told me to do. The second one had a midwife and did not have any ultrasounds and it was so much fun finding out what she was when she was born. The midwife did not announce it. I caught the baby myself and as soon as I pulled her up to me they threw a towel on her so it was another five minutes or so before I said, we don't even know what it is. I held her up and we saw we had our second daughter. This 3rd one will be the same too. I think there are so few truly great surprises in life that it is better to wait. And now that I am a midwife I have seen so many times where the ultrasound tech said one thing and when the baby was born it was opposite and some of those parents get really upset.


Originally Posted by sew_crafty_girl View Post
In fact, the hospital where I had all my scans, had explicit signs stating how for "ethical" reasons, they will not, under any circumstances, discuss the sex of the baby.
That's really interesting...I've never heard of that.

As for me...well, we are definitely having the anatomy scan at 20 weeks, so this will be an issue for us. I would kind of love to wait and find out at delivery, but I think my husband really wants to know as soon as possible. I will probably just let him decide, because I can see benefits either way and it's not really critically important to me which way we go.
See less See more
I believe it's because of the high asian population where I live.
Most likely we will find out. We did not find out with DD. But this time DH wants to know. Plus ( more of a reason) DD is very attached to the idea that she is having a baby sister. If so, great. But if it is a boy I would want time to prepare/encourage her for bonding with a brother.

And I guess in my deepest of hearts, I would want to know also. For one, I would not want to have the whole circumcision discussion (we spent weeks on that last time) only to find out we have another girl!
I want to find out. I will have many u/s due to being high risk, but even if I wasn't I would want to know!
My daughter is attached to a "sister", so I would have to prepare her for a brother
Not this time.
With DD (in '99) we weren't going to, then I got into a car accident at 30 something weeks and they gave me all kinds of level twos. I just couldn't help it.
With DS (in '06), I wanted to, so I did.
This time I'm going to really try not to get into a crash so I can stick with it LOL
If it all goes tits up so to speak, I would like to still have a wonderful surprise in the end. Plus, I actually like neutral clothing. Greens and yellows are my fav! (and much cheaper on ebay as most people find out the sex and buy sexed clothing) hehe
Also - I don't plan on any scans so I don't see how it would be possible even if I did want to know the sex

A lot of hospitals here too also will not tell you the sex for ethical reasons. I think this is because there are a lot of indian/pakistani/chinese/etc races living in this country who will abort the baby if it is not a boy (or so I have been told). Because of this, some hospitals will also charge you to find out the sex!

I found out with my DS. He was unplanned and I felt really detached with it all (it was not the right time in our lives at all) - of course he grew on me and I felt I could connect more with him, knowing he was my Duncan, before he was born. I don't need that this time around. I took to motherhood like a duck to water, and I never saw that coming. Also - this baby has been wanted for a very long time. I am already bonded with them - I know them.
See less See more
we are going to find out at birth...
I'd find out today, if I could.

I'm not good at surprises, and I am not a patient person.
We will find out because my DH really wants to know.

I could go either way, I would be happy with the surprise at 20 weeks or happy being surprised at birth.
Neither of us want to know, so we'll have a surprise at birth. For myself, I found waiting to be wonderful as it is one of the only surprises in the world that is wonderful either way. With DS we never had an ultrasound and our midwives didn't announce. DH caught our babe and laid him on my tummy and that was when we discovered we had a son. It was a wonderful experience!
See less See more
we're not finding out unless someone mentions it by accident....which I hope they don't! There are also too many medical professionals in my family and circle of friends so I don't even know that we're going to send out u/s pictures. My older sister is a radiologist and I know she's dying to know. So no pictures for her!

I've always had a strong feeling that our first child will be a boy. My partner thinks it will be a girl - so far in our house we have two women, a female cat, and a female dog. I think it's time for a boy!
I would like to. We did with Hunter and I liked knowing. I only want 1 ultrasound, so if its not revealed during that time then thats fine. I'm not going to have a u/s just for finding out the gender.
My DH insists on finding out...but he's fine with ME not finding out! Like that will work- it would drive me batty in about five seconds flat. My best friends and her s/o did that with their daughter, and within two hours of the ultrasound I knew the sex because she'd threatened physical harm if he didn't spill the beans. I would be the same way. I'd love to get one of the intelligenders today and find out asap. I'm impatient like that. Plus in one of my last ddc's on a different site it was 100% right for all the mama's that used it, so I'm curious! But we'll likely just find out at our 20 week scan.
No, we haven't found out with the other three and won't find out this time either. DH isn't thrilled with that, but I insist we don't find out. He has his things, I have mine and this is one of them. I just love not finding out ahead of time.

Of course I wonder ahead of time, but I love the moment at birth when we find out. I still laugh at how shocked we both were with our second when he was born. I think we were both convinced it was a girl. For some reason, it apparently didn't cross our minds it might be a boy. LOL It's hard to put into words, but I love the memory. I also still smile at the thought of my last birth when I was holding the baby close to me for about 30 seconds and then looking to see if it was a boy or girl. I loved looking and then being the one to announce it.

Also, in the end, I like annoying people when they ask me what I'm having and I simply say "A baby". So many of them can't believe I don't know the gender. One person started arguing with me "Well, how can you not know? Were they not able to see? You know, but you aren't telling me!" As if I needed to tell the cashier at the grocery store....
See less See more
We are not finding out. I didn't with dd2 and I LOVE THE SURPRISE!!! It seems to make the birth so much more exciting. I mainly like it because I don't like the idea of picking a name ahead of time. I like to meet my baby first, and choose a name that fits. DP is awesome about it, even though he wants a boy oh so bad, he says he will know in April no matter what so whats a few more months. And with dd2, he swore he would announce it right away and, of course, he didn't even pay attention, so he knows it doesn't really matter.

I found out with dd1 though, and I wouldn't change it. Something about the first baby thing.
I'm to much of a control freak to not know. Plus, if it's a boy I will probably need some adjustment time. Finding out at the birth would not be good for the bonding if I'm upset about the gender (and I would be). And while I don't totally trust the u/s determination (I've heard of a lot of mistakes online, but I don't know anybody who had a mistake IRL so... I dunno) I need to know. I think even if they say girl I won't totally believe it until the baby's in my arms.
1 - 20 of 55 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.