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I love my daughter more than anything, but I always feel so terrible. :( I wish I never had her. I feel like my life has no meaning and it's just one unhappy activity after another. Making food, serving food, cleaning kid, laundry, dishes, spending time with in-laws. :( That's going to be my life for at least the next decade. What is the point?
 

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OK

I see you are posting in the depression forum, are you getting any help? Do you have a partner you coparent with? Do you get family support?

Were you planning to have kids? What were your expectations vs what is happening now?

I can tell you, being pregnant and looking after a baby were brutal, massive, life changing, tough. Partially because I was very ill through a good part of it, partially because I had a preemie, and partially because I felt like I was pretty much on my own, alone, trying to figure it all out. It was brutally hard and depressing, and terrifying, and made me re-look at myself. But I never ever wished that my son cease to exist I would have done anything to help him even if it killed me.
 

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How old is your kid?
I feel this way sometimes, I honestly wonder if post pardum depression really exists or if it's just a combination of battle fatigue and a completely backwards culture that isolates mothers while criticizing their every move.

When I feel that way I try to remind myself that this is the next stage in my personal evolution. It may seem awful but it's sure to all make sense in a few years.

I also try not to have the thought of wishing I weren't a mother because if any thing should happen that harmed my child I would be in a darker hole than ever before.

It's not your fault you feel this way, our culture is inherently destructive, especially to women and mothers. This may be true but that's also a very victimizing affirmation. Try to find some empowerment in your on going battle with life.

Be proud of the amazing and challenging role you've taken on. And get away from your on laws!! Lol. I attend a weekly play group and it's my psychological anchor. In law's sometimes have unrealistic expectations and judgments. Other momma's your own age will be good medicine for your soul.

Please don't give up on your daughter! You are the single most important person in the world to her!!
Aloha
 

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I love my daughter more than anything, but I always feel so terrible. :( I wish I never had her. I feel like my life has no meaning and it's just one unhappy activity after another. Making food, serving food, cleaning kid, laundry, dishes, spending time with in-laws. :( That's going to be my life for at least the next decade. What is the point?
Oh, it's too familiar for me. I have two children, and than they were little, I always felt like you. Find a hobby or a king of any small work at home. Try to have a couple of hours per week for your wishes. Travel if you can (with your child). Try to change your life. Even one change can help a lot. Don't sit att home. And, of course, sometimes it's great to be selfish a little bit :)

Hope you will be ok!!!
 
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