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What are your wishes and fears?

Currently, my wish is that I could find a perfect part time job to wipe out a little bit of our debt and help us prepare for the babies. (Maybe if I let the universe know that this is what I'm hoping for, it will come to me!)

My fear is Fading twin syndrome which happens before 10 weeks gestation. Why did I have to learn about that?
 

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Carrie~ Have you thought about waitressing maybe twice a week? Thats what I do right now since I'm in school and have an internship. I work maybe 12 hours a week(Saturday and Sunday Morning) and make $200 easily on a slow week. With summer coming up you will make way more than that.
 

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Wishes: healthy pregnancy, safe unmedicated birth, healthy kiddo; that I get the job I'm applying for and that it will allow me to telecommute

Fears: well, maybe "fear" is too strong of a word, but I'm thinking a lot about how pregnancy and a child will affect my self perception and relatinships
 

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Wishes:

That a nice big truckload of money would get dumped in my lap so I wouldn't have to panic about how to support 2 children. That you could pay for quality child care by the hour on an as-needed basis. That I could quit my job for a year without looking bad to future employers. That my health insurance were less expensive. That my health insurance had #$*%ing MATERNITY COVERAGE. That I would get a high-paying job as soon as I graduate.

Fears:

Having a second child. Labor pains. Needing hospital transfer and getting stuck with a $$$$$ hospital bill because, of course, if you make too much money to qualify for Medicaid, then you can automatically afford to pay for anything at all. That my anxiety level will go up so high that my children will be permanently screwed up as a result. That my marriage will be less happy. That I might have twins, or that the vasectomy dh is going to get might fail and we might end up with a third child.
 

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WISH: that my insurance would cover the cost of a homebirth! (Unlikely)

FEAR: not really a "fear," but if we have another girl, I'm afraid DH won't want to have a 4th child. Personally, I love having girls. But I think DH isn't sure about having 4 girls (If this one is a girl, that means 3 girls...and DH may not want to take chances with a 4th pregnancy).

This isn't to say that DH doesn't LOVE his girls, he just would like some of both! In fact, when we found out we were expecting #3 I asked him if he wanted it to be a boy or girl, and he said it didn't matter, as long as the baby is healthy. But I also know for a fact that DH is thinking this might be the last pregnancy for us. So, if it's a surprise boy, I think I could convince him to have one more! not sure if this makes sense. DH is not sexist at all, although I'm afraid this email makes him sound that way .... really, he's not!
 

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Wish: The baby will be healthy and I'll get to have the complication-free, vaginal home birth I want....and my insurance will have a change of heart and cover it.

Fear: That I'll miscarry again, that something will be "wrong" with the baby, that my body will change forever and I'll never get it back, and...

...that I'll poop in front of my husband during labor (for some reason, I just really don't want that to happen, I know, silly, but....)
 
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