[Sativarain1]

<p>deleted for personal and privacy reasons.</p>

 

[*MamaJen*]

Oh mama, that is awful.<br>
He will never be capable of giving you what you need or deserve. He will never do anything but abuse you in one form or another.<br>
I try to be really understanding on this board of how hard it can be to leave, but I need to really clearly and strongly encourage you to leave this guy who is torturing you for fun. He doesn't even treat you like you're human. Nothing good will come out of you staying with him. I can't even imagine what kind of a toll the years with him have taken on your psyche.<br>
And even worse, soon your own daughter may start mirroring his behavior. Either that, or he'll abuse her too.She'll either become him, or become his victim.

 

[Isamama]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>*MamaJen*</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15412827"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Oh mama, that is awful.<br>
He will never be capable of giving you what you need or deserve. He will never do anything but abuse you in one form or another.<br>
I try to be really understanding on this board of how hard it can be to leave, but I need to really clearly and strongly encourage you to leave this guy who is torturing you for fun. He doesn't even treat you like you're human. Nothing good will come out of you staying with him. I can't even imagine what kind of a toll the years with him have taken on your psyche.<br>
And even worse, soon your own daughter may start mirroring his behavior. Either that, or he'll abuse her too.She'll either become him, or become his victim.</div>
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<br>
I whole heartedly agree!!!!! I need to disclose that your situation triggers me greatly, so I will leave it to the very wise Jen.

 

[Purple*Lotus]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I am so sorry you are going through this.<br><br>
My STBX was similar. He would say "I don't like you, I can't stand you, I don't want to come home after work unless you aren't here", etc. Not that he was ever that affectionate to begin with, and I can count on one hand how many times he told me he loved me. But I hated it when he told me he didn't like me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">

 

[Phoenix~Mama]

Witholding love is most definitely a form of abuse. And what he is doing to you is awful. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I would receive punishments like this from STBX as well when I went against something he wanted me to or not to do.<br><br>
It does suck and it does make you feel very unwanted and very unloved. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I am sorry you are dealing with this.<br><br>
You deserve to be treated better than this. Tell yourself that over and over again. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[Sativarain1]

<p>Thanks for responding.</p>

 

[Theia]

Hi. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. I wish you were being loved as you deserve. I hope you realize that he is not going to change and be the kind of husband you deserve and wish he was. I love you and I hope that you will not allow him to continue to treat you like this. You are strong enough to leave him again. If you did it once, you can do it again. There is no shame in having to leave more than once, many women do. Please love and protect yourself and you DC from this UAV, there is only one way to do it. I'm sorry you are in so much pain from all of this. I'm glad you have came back here and let us know what is going on with you. I think of you often. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat">

 

[SeekingSerenity]

I just want to say that my husband does this too. I get what I call The Silent Treatment, and the kids are also ignored. It's like we don't exist - he can walk right past us, shove us aside like we aren't there, won't even make eye contact. Usually because of something I did to make him angry - even if he started it. (For instance, yesterday, when we were ignored because I was sarcastic and rude, however my sarcasm was in response to his calling me names and telling me to shut up.)<br><br>
Conversely, we weren't allowed to go on our picnic lunch by ourselves (me and the kids). He had to go along. He didn't say ten words to us the whole time, was rude and hurtful to the kids, would not even look at any of us - yet we weren't allowed to go and enjoy ourselves without his being there.<br><br>
It's always been this way for me. I've gotten very hard to it. When I get ignored, it doesn't hurt. It just makes me angry. It hurts me on behalf of my children, though. Part of me wishes it still hurt... it makes me feel like he is killing the spirit that made me passionate and empathetic, made me able to really feel life. Now I am just pissed off all the time.<br><br>
I hope it's not permanent.<br><br>
(((((HUGS))))) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Sativarain

 

[*MamaJen*]

Are you making plans to leave? I know you've said repeatedly that you're holding out hope that he will change for the better, but I think you know in your heart that he will never change.<br>
Please leave. Please protect your daughter.