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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, I guess I"m just looking for confirmation that I should throw in the towel w/this potty training/learning/whatever. DD is 29 months. We have, for months, been using cotton training pants @ home. W/obsessive vigilance & frequent potty visits prompted by an adult it's possible to get through a day w/no wet pants. She's only ever had maybe 2 or 3 BMs in the potty, so those are ALWAYS in the diaper or training pants.<br><br>
She's shows no initiative/motivation. She will go on the potty if brought, and is capable of holding her bladder for quite a while. I do believe she's "able" to make progress b/c she was very briefly in a preschool where they potty training and all the kids used the potty. The peer influence was unreal! She was motivated, ran to the potty, etc. That dropped off after she stopped the program (for other reasons).<br><br>
So, I'm SO fed up. I'm sick of cleaning up accidents, washing the training pants. I've already had 2 accidents today.<br><br>
The thing is, I WOH and the babysitter sees value in continuing this routine. I don't. At all. If I saw progress, I'd be thrilled to continue.<br><br>
Do I just throw in the towel for a few months? DD just has zero motivation and I don't have it in me to schlep her to the bathroom every hour & clean up accidents all day.<br><br>
HELP!
 

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I was in the same boat as you. WIth the exception that my DS was all about going stinky in the potty.<br><br>
I started PT at 20 months old, since he hated diapers. He went to the potty to pee several times a day, and he peed everywhere else several times a day. This went on FOR MONTHS. He just didn't get it. There were days when I Felt like ordering him some new diapers and just forget about it.<br>
A friend of mine kept me going telling me how she had problems, HUGE problems with her first DC. She said believe it or not my DS had made progress and although hes not consistent he was on the right track. Her first DC took a lot of bribes to get her to even go pee in the potty, and stinky to even many more months.<br>
My DS is about 34 months old. In the past month he has just become consistent with peeing. Stinky, he got down pretty much to perfection before he was two. He hated, HATED diaper changes for stinky, and I guess putting it in the potty made for less mess and intrusion from me.<br><br>
My DS was also very much like your DD in that he didn't tell me when had to go. For months I was taking him to the bathroom. He would give me no verbal que that he had to pee. SOmetimes I would take him mid stream to the potty, but nothing. I always told him , that if he felt the pee about to come out tell me and I would help him get to the bathroom. I told him this over and over again, and then one day it stuck. These days he'll whip it out and then tell me he has to pee. Sometimes I just hear the toilet flush, and the toilet seat hit the rim of the toilet.<br><br>
One of the things I required from him if he had an accident is that he had to go get a towel and clean it up. I came behind him and used vinegar and baking soda to keep the smell away.<br><br>
BTW, My DS didn't wear diapers after 22 months old, except for at night. Even when we were out, I consistently encouraged him to use the potty. For awhile I took our potty out with us, and had him use it before going inside or doing an activity.<br><br>
Denise
 

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UGH! I'm in the same boat with my daughter. I put her in training pants that don't leak so at least the clean up is easy! She just doesn't get the whole peeing on the potty before you pee in your underwear thing. I keep hoping that someday it will click. She's 30 months old and has been going poo poo on the potty for a year. Everyone tells me that it will happen, and I hope it will. You never see a 10 year old still in diapers...that's what I tell myself, but I cringe at the thought of doing this for even 6 more months!<br><br>
I wish I had better advice! If you find something that works let me know.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Glad to know I'm not the only one! I'm going to scrap the training pants for now, because I just get annoyed. I'd rather change the diapers than wash the slipcovers, wipe up the chairs and the floors, etc. I'll give it another try in a couple of months.
 

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I have found with my dd, 30 months, that when she seems to come to a stopping point in progress, I just back off for a few weeks. When we start back, she seems to do better. I think that sometimes they just need a break. What works great for us is letter her go diaperless around the house. With nothing on her bottom, she will go sit on her potty for both pee and poop. The moment I put a diaper on her, though, she ignores the potty. Although, she no longer poops in her diaper, she holds it until she can use the potty.
 

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DS is 31 months and FULLY USING THE POTTY--as of just this last month. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> YAY!!<br><br>
I started this journey by putting a potty in the bathroom a year or more ago, LOL. We had *months* of no interest, of sometimes peeing in the potty, of peeing in the potty all day but then having to go back in a diaper at about 5 PM because of being tired...<br>
We scrapped it entirely unless he did it himself during the first couple months of DD's life--just too hectic with the new baby, then she was in the hospital for a week with whooping cough when she was 6 weeks. too much going on.<br><br>
About 2 months ago, I put the potty in the living room. I started with reminders, but that just seemed to tick him off.<br><br>
Finally, I just decided to leave it there and let him use it as he wanted. When I had enough of accidents or he asked, I'd just go back to a diaper. And we always used diapers for going out and sleeping.<br>
This went on for maybe a month?<br><br>
Then he suddenly decided it was all good! He started taking the ring in and putting it on the big toilet. He started pooping on the potty. Suddenly, I realized, we hadn't had an accident in 3 weeks. So I thought maybe we should wear undies to the park. And I showed him the park bathrooms, and he used them! YAY!! (though the park was my choice for first undie outing cause I figured he wouldn't be the first kid who'd ever peed in the grass/sand/on the slide, whatever)<br><br>
So we did about a week of all day dry. And he napped in underwear, and I realized he could stay dry--this was because we forgot to put a diaper on one day. Then I ran out of his size diapers and decided to just put a waterproof sheet on his mattress--and guess what? He stays dry all night too! (well, ONE accident this week at night)<br><br>
The thing with the night is I just had to try it, waiting for him to keep a diaper dry wasn't working because if he wore a diaper, he would never tell me, he would just go in it instead.<br><br>
So that's my suggestion to anybody struggling with potty training, put the potty in whatever rooom your kid plays in the most and leave it there. Let them choose when to use it. Change back to diapers when everybody's frustrated and try again later. They just might surprise you, mine totally did!!
 

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Our experience was similar to Melanie's.<br>
Ds son potty learned at 2.5 yrs. We introduced the potty at around 18 months, by just putting it in the bathroom. If I thought about it I would ask him if he needed to go, usually when I was going too. He used it maybe once a month, and we always made a big deal about it, called the grandparents so he could tell them and all the hoopla. Then DD came along when he was 25 months and we put it on hold for a while. Around 30 months fell in love with Nemo, so we went to the store and bought Nemo underwear. That night he refused to wear a pull up for bed, I was sure I would be up that night changing sheets, but he stayed dry and has ever since, never wet the bed at night. I can count on one hand the number of accidents he has had since he made the decision to switch to big boy underwear, a most of those were my fault.<br><br>
I really think the easiest thing to do is let them set the pace. Make the potty accessible and dress them in easy to remove clothes or nothing at all when at home. If they have an accident, just clean it up, don't give it too much attention. Just remind them that tee tee and poo poo go in the potty and move on. When they go in the potty, make a real production of it. I tried not to make it a big boy vs. baby thing, we just talked about how it felt better to go in the potty and not in his pants, and how he got to wear cool underwear too. But in truth I can't take the credit, he did it all himself.
 

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Are you being consistent with the cloth training pants? By consistent, I mean that she is wearing them during ALL waking hours. If she is not wearing them all the time (i.e., when you she is out of the house, you are putting her in a diaper) then it is going to take a while using that method.<br><br>
I would wait for a period (maybe in the summer?) where you can keep her home for a large chunk of time or where you take her out only on short excursions or to places where peeing her pants is not a big deal (for example, take her to the park. She pees her pants in the park, no biggie. It's not like peeing on the floor in the store, after all).<br><br>
It is so worth it to take the time out to do it. My DD potty learned at 24 months. I took of the diaper, for good. Told her there were no more. Took 2 weeks for her to go regularly in the potty and a month for her to be accident free. Was sooooo worth it. Cannot imagining still changing diapers now that she is 33 months.
 

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BusyBee - I agree, back off. I wouldn't wait months, but weeks. Let the sitter do her thing during the day, then let DD have a breather in the evenings and on weekends.<br><br>
My DD is 36 months and she is just now really getting it. She's been peeing/pooping on the potty for over a year, but with no consistency. At school, she does great (peer pressure works)! But at home if she's in a diaper or pull-up, forget it. Not even panties help sometimes. Last night, I asked her if her panties were still dry (a good chance to tell her how great she's doing and suggest that she go sit on the potty) and she said "no." Then we had to figure out where she was when she peed. It had been about 10 minutes!<br><br>
I have found that letting her figure it out in her own time is working best. She does not respond to being dragged to the potty, and it just stresses me out anyway.<br><br>
Good Luck!<br>
--LEE
 

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<b><span style="font-size:small;"><span>I started training my oldest at 18 mons and he was fully trained by 24 mons. My youngest is 26 mons and nothing. He will pee on the potty but not poop and sometimes he will scream bloody murder to get off. So we are at a stand still right now. My dh keeps telling me to put him on the potty but I don't feel like fighting with him to stay on it. He doesn't understand that every child is different. From what I remember I just made it fun for my oldest and used those rubber pants he hated so much. I gave him books, stickers and reward snacks. My youngest is not impressed with any of that. I'm just going to give him some space and try again later. Sorry im not much help, good luck!</span></span></b>
 

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Haven't read all the responses yet so sorry if I am repeating but- Why are you trying so early? And yes- if it isn't going well- put it off for a while!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Deir</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8250686"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Haven't read all the responses yet so sorry if I am repeating but- Why are you trying so early? And yes- if it isn't going well- put it off for a while!</div>
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Wow, is 29 months early? I'm just starting with my ds who's 26 months because he wants to. I certainly don't want this process to go on for a year or more. I can understand why BusyBee is frustrated and we've only been at it for a couple of weeks.
 

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I agree with several of the other posters- back off entirely, go back to diapers, and let HER be the one to decide when she's ready.<br><br>
It isn't that 26 months is unreasonably young IF the child is expressing interest- but not all children are ready quite so early. My ds potty learned pretty much overnight around 27ish months old, but my best friend's dd (who I babysit for full-time) is 38 months old and just starting to get it (although she's still in pull-ups much of the time). Both children are completely within the realm of what is considered "normal" as far as toilet training is concerned.<br><br>
it just seems, in my very non-expert opinion, that if you push a child before they're really ready that you're just setting yourself up lots of frustration. I'd rather change my child's diapers until they're 4 yrs. old if it means avoiding that much stress.
 

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Although I can certainly understand parents who don't want to wait till 3 1/2 yo to ditch the diapers, I just wanted to mention that when ds finally decided he was ready (on his half birthday, due to my suggestion that, hey, maybe using the potty in honor of the day would be cool <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">), the process took, um, about 5 minutes. He woke up, sat on the potty, and peed in it for the first time ever. That was about 3 month ago. He's probably had about 10 urine accidents total. It took about a week (and a couple of pieces of chocolate as incentive) for him to feel fully comfortable pooping on the potty. The whole process was really incredibly, incredibly easy.<br><br>
So, like I said, if it's important to you to get it done earlier, okay, but I just wanted to let you know that it can be very quick and easy if you wait. (Of course, some kids are just as ready as ds was at an earlier age, so that changes how long you'd have to wait, too.)
 
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