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My SD is 11 and I've been an integral part in her life since she was 6. We (dh and I) have her 50% of the time. Although being a stepmom certainly isn't all roses, I feel pretty lucky since she has always been very warm and totally accepting of me. In fact, eventhough she's with her mom 50% of the time and she has a great realtionship with her, she has always chosen to also call me "Mom," eventhough her bio-mom hates it.<br><br>
Anyway, just curious how many of you have relationships like this with your stepkids. I have stepparents and definitely don't get along with them like DSD and I do.<br><br>
~Candice<br>
Mommy to Mia Bella <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/dust.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dust"> 1/25/06 and Step mom to Delaney 08/10/95 <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lady.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lady">
 

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My relationship with sdd's isn't a terrible one! They are 7 and I've been in the picture for over 4 years now. I know they adore me.... sometimes I'm with them when dh is at work and he'll call or stop in to check on them and they tell him to go back to work they are having fun. They are always hugging and touching me, leaning on me just to be close. I have never pushed them to be close to me they just always hang on me. Of course there are tough times but all in all I know that they love coming here and they ask for me to come with them when they are going to the park with their dad. I give them lots of space to do their own thing with their dad like going for bike rides, fishing, going to the park etc.
 

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I've been in DSD's life since she was 2 (she is 6 now). Her BM is not really around but she is aware of her existence. She has always called me mom and her BM by her name. Her choice. She doesn't exactly have a great relationship with her BM but she does not have anything against her either...So I'm not sure if we fit exactly right into your question. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Dss and I get along well. It's a little harder now that he is 12 and going through adolescence, but we've always gotten along fine. No big issues. I've been his stepmom for almost 7 years and we have primary custody.
 

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I've been in my stbsd's life since she was two. She is now four, and does not remember either her parents being together or life before I was with her daddy. She now lives with us 50% of the time, a change that occurred over the last six months. She and her mother are very close. It has been an adjustment for everyone involved, but I would say that our relationship is a good one and getting better all of the time. She does not call me "mom," and I would not want her to. I love our little family that gets better with each week she spends with us.<br><br>
I think that the reason that my relationship with STBSD is good is that bf and I seem to have an unusually good relationship between us and her biomom. I completely stay out of their parenting/custody/child support discussions, no matter how frustrated I get with her. It has paid off - we are able to have nice conversations whenever we see each other. It also probably helps STBSD that none of the adults in her life say anything negative each other. Her older sister (no blood relation to BF) spends at least one weekend/month with us and is a joy to have with us every time. I feel very lucky to not have to deal with what it seems like a lot of the ladies on this board have as situations.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I'm glad to hear others have good relationships with their stepkids - it is a tough job being a stepparent and I feel really blessed to have an awesome SD. As parents we can only do so much - it takes committment on the part of the parents and kids to find a happy middle ground, I think. And when the kids don't want to cooperate, it leaves the stepparent in a really rough spot!
 

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I think you all are lucky and/or really good parents.<br><br>
For those of us who are struggling it is nice to know it's possible.
 

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My relationship with my SS is not as good as I'd like it to be, but it's pretty stable, and 100% better than it was 4-5 years ago. My kids' relationship with their stepmom is like the one you describe, which makes me so very happy!
 
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