Wondering when I will end up in the other forum.

562 Views 5 Replies 5 Participants Last post by taradt, Mar 29, 2006

hankiesmama

Discussion Starter · Mar 29, 2006

I'm bleeding again right now. I don't know if you could even consider it spotting because it doesn't end up on the pad.

I'm so tired of this game. I always wonder where it will end. I have one son who is here with me and one who I couldn't hold onto who is buried in the cold dark ground in the cemetary.

So I guess I have a 50/50 chance.

I don't like those odds.

SO tired. So depressed.

I was wondering if other women in here had to end up giving up custody of any older children because of problem pregnancies. I am unable to chase after my toddler and no one is really here to help me. I wonder if he would be better off in state care.

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Mearaina

· #2 · Mar 29, 2006

I wish I lived closer so I could lend a hand!! I know what you mean about 50/50 odds. I don't like them, either. I spotted in 2 pg's, 1 I m/c'd, the other is still with me (28 weeks and growing). So I guess I fit the stats. I have never heard of anyone losing custody due to your situation.

's mama. This is a good place to vent and maybe some other wise mamas will be able to offer you some words of wisdom.

~Lisa

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coralsmom

· #3 · Mar 29, 2006

i am sorry you are going through this. have you seen your care-provider yet?
it is so draining, wanting something so badly, especially after you have lost before...

i would be so shocked if your fear of having your child taken from you because you are going through a hard time could come to be. there are many things that could happen long before that extreme. can you ask for help from 1)family 2)friends 3)organizations like a church or hospital or childcare service that may be willing to help if you need it? i am so sorry you are feeling so unsupported. sometimes it helps just to put words to those fears to give them a different perspective, to take the fear's power away, you know? i hope you are hanging in there, at least for today... one day at a time...

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hankiesmama

Discussion Starter · #4 · Mar 29, 2006

It's not really about the state "taking" him as much as me giving him to them because I don't have any support. My mother works. My Dad isn't in the right mental state to take care of my boy. I have no relatives who do not work except for my ancient grandparents who are frail and I don't think could handle my boy.
I feel somewhat like I'm being forced to choose between the unborn child and the son who is here with me.

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mama4gals

· #5 · Mar 29, 2006

I'm sorry you are in such a bad place, mama. Don't give up hope with this baby. Many women spot through the early months of their pg, and the fact that it's not enough to get on a pad is good. I didn't notice if you said how far along you are. You said you are tired and depressed. I did notice in your sig that you are married. Is your husband able to help at all with your toddler? Is he aware of how depressed you are feeling? I can't imagine even thinking of giving up custody of my child bc of being pg w/ another. Do you have a midwife or dr with whom you could discuss how badly you are feeling? They could help you, maybe with herbs or possibly medication. I don't know, I am not a dr, and I may be way out of line. But you sound seriously down, and I am just trying to think of things that could help. Blessings to you, mama.

Liz

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taradt

· #6 · Mar 29, 2006

Mama

Your son will be fine even if you can't run around with him for awhile, you can read, snuggle even (gasp) watch tv together. You need to give yourself a break, you are doing the best you can in a very hard and uncertain situation. Spotting isn't necessary bad but I know after a loss it can be very scary. Call your midwife and take it easy for a few days.

please be gentle on yourself mama

tara

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