[rebasea]

Any other "working out of the home moms (WOHM?)" out there?
I've been back to work for a month and it's kicking my booty. It's only 2 four hour days, but it feels like much more. The work is really facinating (doing intakes at a low income mental health clinic) and I don't want to give it up. But it feels like I'm running to get there and then scrambling all day long at home.
mostly, it's the time when he's asleep and I can't sit down because I'm doing laundry and the dishes, or pulling weeds or this or that or that other thing that needed to get done for 5 weeks.
It doesn't help that my wife works 50 hours a week and has been sick for the last week.
I need a nap.

 

[13710]

I think it is really, really hard. I work f/t and what I've finally come to realize is that I'm just not going to get done all that I want to or expect to. I still have plants waiting to go in to the garden but I just couldn't get myself out there last night - I went to bed instead! If you want to keep working, can you scale back your expectations for what else you do?

I also think it takes a while to get in the grove. Everyone told me to give it at least a month before I decided if it was going to work out or not - but I'd say it took me about 2 months to really figure out how to manage everything. So, can you reevaluate down the road?

And finally, I think napping whenever possible is key!

Rae
mom to Maddox 11-3-03

 

[Lucky Charm]

Reba, there is a forum here at MDC for working moms, both that have in home businesses, work outside the home and student mamas. I think its in the parenting forum. I will try and post a link.

 

[Lucky Charm]

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ad.php?t=56319

let me post this and see if it works. this if it does,will bring you to the "sticky" that a moderator wrote and placed at the top of the forum.

 

[Piglet68]

Looks like someone moved the thread here for you.

I agree, it's about setting priorities. Certain things have priority, some don't. Weeding the garden falls way low down on mine ('course, I don't have a garden, lol). Do laundry when you run out of underwear, lol. Wash dishes when you run out of room to put the dirty ones, or do what we do and have only 4 of everything, so you are forced to keep them clean, lol.

Hang in there, girl. You'll figure it out!

 

[sweetest]

Yep - take a nap.

Your baby needs a well rested mom that is happy! Over the last year I have come to realize that dd doesn't have a clue that there are piles of laundry waiting but she does know if mom is stressing out. Mothering is an experience in letting go of the urge to make everything perfect!

 

[WonderWild]

I work FT and I've come to accept that Mon-Fri, my house will be a mess. I only really clean on Friday and Saturday nights after DS has gone to bed. (I sure know how to party!)

I usually stay up till midnight both nights cleaning. I try to keep things picked up during the week but it's not really that clean. When I get home I eat and then the rest of the night is devoted to DS. After he goes to bed, that time is devoted to me & DH. I don't like my house being messy but somethings gotta give.

 

[grnmtnmama]

everything everyone else has said is true. it took me a few months to get into the groove of working full days: Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. By the time Tuesday night comes along I'm wiped and stressed and thank goodness I have Wed. morning to clean up and get organized.

Even now a small change to my routine (working M, Tue & W for example) will totally throw me off.

Huge props to the FT WOHM mommies. you guys are my heros!

a.
#1 Keiran 10/12/03

 

[tug]

rebasea-

like everybody else said. i've been a WOHM since ds was 8 weeks (and i worked two weeks at home before that). now he's 16 months. i have to admit, i do still really not like working rather than being with him. like so many of us, money dictates that i have to (for now!). i do the same as sputnik, i forget about cleaning the house during the week. i leave work at 3 (i come in for 7), i pick up james, and i spend the rest of the day playing with him as much as possible. i generally don't watch tv in the evenings 'cause it would take away those few precious hours with him.

the hardest part for me is that, as interesting as my work is (i'm a lawyer in a non-profit for the elderly and disabled), i am just not interested for the most part anymore. my mind is with my baby -- wondering what he's doing, missing him, thinking of things i need for him or should do with him.

and, of course, my favorite activity now is sleeping!!!!

 

[Geofizz]

It gets easier. Promise.

I know a lot of people will tell you to just let the dishes go or something, but that never worked for me, because then we'd just run out of clean dishes and run out of counter space for the dirty ones. My new philosophy: Triage.

I divide things up into "most crucial ~ we aren't eating if it's not done", "important ~ needs doing but we'll survive if it's not done", and "low priority ~ gee, wouldn't it be nice...."

So, since I started with the dishes example.... If dishes need doing, I do those dishes that have to get done to cook dinner. If I have time, I'll do a few more. Sometimes I get through all of them, though most times it's just a couple plates, forks and a saucepan.

To respond to Piglet's comment on weeds, weed traige goes something like this: pull those weeds that are currently larger than the plants you're trying to grow, then pull those weeds that are threatening reproduction (flowering), then get the rest if there's time.

 

[Geofizz]

Oh yeah, another comment on weeds. My mom told me shortly after my daughter was born "right now you're growing children. You can grow flowers when they're older."

Sappy, but true. (Yet, somehow I'm still obsessing over my veggie garden and whether or not the black eyed susans I planted last year will flower this year...)

 

[tug]

Wendy,

that is so cute and so true about the flowers. i'm all weepy sitting here at my desk (ok... pregnancy hormones may be contributing to this)...

 

[singermom]

ITA with everything that has been said. There are days when you will have it all together and days when you clearly won't. The comment about separating things into "critical," "important" and "optional" is good, too. Somehow or other, it will all work out the way it is supposed to. Lowering your standards, particularly on house cleaning issues, helps (and believe me, mine are pretty darn low at this point).

As a way of illustrating, I thought I would share what happened this morning in our house:

First, I used the LAST diaper anywhere (having raided the diaper bag, the extra I keep in the car, you name it--we are OUT). And she's practically out of them at day care, too, so guess what I am doing on my lunch hour...

But wait, it gets better: I went to get dressed and found that the one shirt I needed to complete the only clean outfit I had was in the dryer...so I went downstairs, grabbed it still damp out of the dryer and put it on...how sad is that?

:

Anyway, good luck, and feel free to come here and vent--we all understand.

Mia (of the damp shirt)

 

[gingerlane]

I hear ya, mama!

I only work 15-20 hours a week and it is totally kicking my butt. Mostly because the job requires 40+ hours and I just can't make it all fit. Am actually getting laid off at the end of this month and am feeling pretty relieved 'cause now it's not like I failed!

It does get easier though (if the job is manageable) and if you enjoy it, the work becomes a very welcome change from the energy of home. You must take naps, go to sleep early and cuddle with your boo as often as possible. And remember that your most important role is "mom"... everything else is just a job.