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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am new to the single mom thing, and I desperately need to find a job, but I ahve been a SAHM for the last 2.5 yrs and I am having serious problems feeling comfortable about the idea of leaving the kids in daycare. I know it sounds silly, but the idea of someone else taking care of my babies all day long really bothers me. How do you get past the fear of putting your kids in daycare? If you went from being a SAHM to a working mom, did your kids have trouble adjusting? I am really going crazy over this.
 

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I am in the same position and I am struggling with whether or not to return to work now or wait until DS is in preschool. It is so hard to leave and I don't really want to but having health insurance and money are nice too. Can you work part-time?
 

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i have BTDT. i had no choice. i had to go back to work. it took me 5 dc in 4 months before dd settled in the one she likes better than the others.

i still hate it, hate our situation. its been 9 months since we started working and dc and i havent got over the guilt and my dd still everyday tells me she misses me.

this was our conversation with my 33 month old this morning while brushing our teeth.
mama i am sad today. i dont want u to go to work, i dont want to go to school, i want u to stay home with me.
'but sweetheart u know i have to go to work. u know i would rather be home with u than send u to school. so tell me why do i have to go to work.'
'to buy me foody and lots of toys' - coming from a girl who doesnt like toys and i just bought her a toy last week after 6 months. and we skipped out the door on our way to preshool/dc.

it is really hard. but u have to do what u have to do. when u dont have a choice u do the best u can with what u have.

thankfully i have found good care (costs me a fortune for that) and they would be my choice if i wasnt with my dd. of course it took me a while but my dd really enjoys herself there. of course she would much rather be with me but she understands she has to be at her preschool. and she chose it. i tried in home dc but i think it reminded her too much of home. this was the one she stopped crying on and off thru out the day.
 

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If you find someone you are REALLY comfortable with, it makes all the difference! I love spending time w/ DD, but I am pleased she is at daycare because I think her day is better structured. If she were home with me, I would not ber able to do the same routine - it is just not in me. at daycare, they do the same thinds at the same times, whether it is nap, snack or crafts. Plus, my very shy child has friends!

I was luck to find a woman who would cloth diaper, feed DD vegetarian food (I provide it, but some days dd won't eat it, so Mina will make rice or something), and love my daughter like my own. She has even said she would love to watch DD overnight if needed (I'm not quite ready for that - DD stays w/ my mom in our house). Anyway, I am very comfortable with my choice (not that I had a choice) and I hope you can find someone equally as wonderful for your own DC.

 

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Jenna
I went back to work before I was on my own and although everything has gone relatively well (aside from stress of my sick kids, sitter being sick). I felt resentful for not being able to SAM for quite a while. I even really like my job too
I just was used to being able to be there for my children and do things my way(the right way :LOL ). I think there is a grieving process that you may go through, but there are advantages to working too. What kind of work are you looking for? If you really want to SAH,you could do daycare or nanny work or work in a fitness center or church childcare room? How long do you want to stay home? If it is until your youngest is a certain age maybe you can work something out?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
This childcare thing is really going to do me in I think. I don't have any real marketable skills, because I haven't finished college, so all I cab really get is a minimum wage job. I called around about childcare and all of the good places are at least $90 per child, per week. I wouldn't even make enough money to pay for the daycare. All the state agencies say they won't help w/ child care unless you are getting cash assistance, and I don't qualify for that because my 2yr old has special needs and gets $500 a month for SSI, but that is barely enough to live off of, you can't even get a rental house here for less than $400 a month. I will look into childcare, something like that would be great. The only other option I have is to try and find something that willbe at night so maybe my mom could watch the kids, but I worry about that too, because they don't parent the same way I do, so I don't really like leaving the kids there w/o me. Sorry this has turned into a rant, but I really don't know how you other mamas do it.
 

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Have you thought about going back to school to get a degree? It can be a great way to maximize your time with your children while getting yourself to a place where you'll be able to support them more easily. Also, your schedule will be relatively flexible, you can get financial aid to live on, and some schools have on-campus daycare that is more affordable.
 
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