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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I returned to work when DS was 5 months. DP is a student (actually this is her login name...I'm KTCL) with a pretty heavy work load. We don't want DS in day care, so DP is doing a lot of the care while trying to be flexible about getting work done. Sometimes it feels totally overwhelming. We co-sleep, and DS is up many times a night right now. We are both doing the bare minimum in our careers and even that is getting stretched. We both feel like we don't have time to do the work we need to do, and at the same time, we rarely have time for each other. I guess I'm just looking for other working parents who are commited to attachment parenting AND have to be away from their kids several hours a day.<br><br>
-Katie, Quinn's mom, who is 51/2 months.
 

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Yeah, it is tough. That is earlier than I went back to work, but if both are committed, you can make it work...you're just running on empty for a while.<br><br>
Invest in ginseng for the non-nursing partner and lots and lot of nettles (iron AND energy AND helps milk production) for the nursing one.<br><br>
Do you have a babysitter/nanny for any time? And if at all possible, I recommend a once-a-week cleaning person. Depending on your skills and the desires of people you know, these things can sometimes be taken care of with barter.
 

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I am no longer nursing, but i have three kids. i am home m-f, while dh works.....60-70 hrs. i also go to school, have alot of classwork to do, and i work in the ER sat & sun. we have been doing this for many years, because we didnt want the kids in daycare. for 4 years, i worked nights 7p-7a, and slept while the kids were in school. mostly weekends now since we had baby #3, although he is now 5 and in half day kindergarten, which is when i do alot of my schoolwork.<br><br>
its very hard to maintain this kind of momentum, and its finally wearing on us. We are seriously considering moving back to the east coast, NC to be specific, so we are closer to family (fla and CT). my brother and mom want to move to NC, and with this arrangement, we can not only spend more tme together, but most importantly, dh and I can be together. we will have more time to be a family.<br><br>
It is hard. it is exhausting. but stay focused. keep your eye on the prize. your dp wont be in school forever and your baby wont be a baby forever, nursing and not sleeping (i know it doesnt feel like that now!).<br><br>
either you suck it up and deal, or you make some major life changes. I am only saying this because i am in the middle of doing it!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Nettles?!? In what form does this come? It provides energy and supports milk production? Where do I find it?<br><br>
I know that DS won't be a baby forever...it's just that sometimes that's exactly what makes me sad. I miss him a lot.<br><br>
It is good to hear what others are going through.<br><br>
Thanks!<br>
Katie
 

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Nettles are a plant. When fresh, they are Stinging Nettles. When dry, they've lost all the stinging properties. You can buy them at any decent herb shop...they are common as muck. Total "weeds". Grow like crazy and practically grow anywhere. My favorite herb shop is on my block in NYC and will ship anywhere: <a href="http://www.flowerpower.net" target="_blank">http://www.flowerpower.net</a> Everything is "wildcrafted" (picked in untreated fields where the plant has seeded naturally) or organically grown. And it is a small, friendly store.<br><br>
The owner just had a baby, too.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/sticky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="sticky"><br><br>
There is a great book: Herbs for the Childbearing Year by Susun Weed that gives lots of other galactagogue herbs.<br><br>
Edited to say, nettles DO help with energy...but don't expect a coffee type buzz. They are really rich in iron and help that way. I find that if I have them in the evening, I don't 'wind down' the same way, but I don't have trouble falling asleep, either.
 

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Hi Katie -<br><br>
your situation sounds alot like ours. my dh is getting his phd so i went back to work pt when ds was 4 mos old. this is what we're still doing and ds is almost 13 mos old. dh works abit while ds naps or plays and then works for another 4 or 5 hours when i get home (around 2:45 in the afternoon). he also usually spends one day over the weekend doing school related stuff. it can be frustrating because we don't spend alot of time together some weeks but it is worth it because we can keep ds out of daycare. now that ds is getting older it is harder for dh to get work done while i'm at work so we're thinking of having a mother's (father's!) helper come in for a couple of hours a day a few days a week so dh can get alittle more work done.<br><br>
as far as the sleeping, i know that ds goes through stages of sleeping/not. since i bf and we cosleep it usually isn't too bad but if dh has a big day coming up, he might sleep in the other room. and once ds was about 8 mos old i did sleep one night in the other room and felt like that rejuvenated me enough for a few months!<br><br>
just remember that the aggrevation is worth it!<br><br>
mona
 

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I just want people reading this thread to know that childcare can be a wonderful thing and provides valuable support to some working parents.
 

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We currently have our 2 ...almost 3 yr old in dc five days a week. It was a hard choice for us as we had been trying to work out a alternative work schedule ... in the end I absolutely hated it as our marriage was really suffering from the lack of "family" time.<br><br>
I know it works for some... definitely not us.<br><br>
Attachment parenting is 100X more important in our situation... definitely not an either or. It's helped me be in tune with ds, better evaluate his child care setting, provide insight to his care givers so they can give better care, as well as bring ds and i back in tune with each other nanoseconds from entering the door.
 
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