Worried mama, not sure where to turn

552 Views 10 Replies 6 Participants Last post by Lunasophia, Apr 7, 2009

Lunasophia

Discussion Starter · Apr 7, 2009

My daughter is 13 months old, up until now she has reached all of her milestones. Although she is bright and happy, she has not begun walking, she doesn't wave bye bye, blow kisses, play peek a boo or point at objects. She seems to understand her world, and can pick up objects that I call out such as a ball, an egg, a duck. She can identify body parts, her hair, my nose, her ears. She says dada and mama, Izzy (our cat), T for kitty and I've heard her say a bunch of other random words, booby, doggy, nana, but these are often not repeated regularly. She does cruise and is a fast crawler, she picks up tiny objects with her fingers, she can feed herself, though not with a spoon. She's affectionate and kisses me with her forehead or her nose often. She is also very interested in music and can play drums with a very solid beat, she loves instruments of all sorts and watches Sarah Brightman on DVD every day (it is the only form of electronic entertainment I have succumbed to). One thing that seems peculiar to me is her arm flapping, when she is very excited her whole body stiffens up with energy and she lets out a high squeel and her arms go every which way or if she wants to get out of the chair or be picked up she flaps her arms. I don't know if this is normal behavior for a one year old because I am not with alot of babies. She also stands up on her toes often.

I went to see her doctor today because I am a bit worried that she is lagging behind based on information I have read and that the risk of autism could be prevelent, although she is a non vaxed baby. Her doctor evaluated her today and says she is about three months behind in development! They want to send an evaluator from the State out to my home for an assessment. The last thing I want is some stranger forcing my DD into a "training" routine to get her on track. My biggest fear is destroying her self worth with unnecessary demands and expectations and ruining her childhood and her nature. What if she is just a slower paced person? What if she is fine and then I start her on programs that inhibit her true nature and growth pattern?

I guess I wonder if anyone else has experienced these same questions or have advice to give on the nature of developmental delays and what you might have done. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated...

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snowmom5

· #2 · Apr 7, 2009

Where, exactly, did the doc say the delay was? Which specific behavior? I'm not so sure I see it. The normal ranges are quite wide at that age. Certainly it's far too early at only 13 months for her to be delayed with walking (I think the range goes up to 18 months). Waving bye bye I can't remember the range for. Speech does not seem to be delayed either (5 words by 18 months, sounds like she already has that).

It can't hurt to get an evaluation through Early Intervention if you're concerned. Then see what they say. But honestly I don't see what delay he was talking about.

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Lunasophia

Discussion Starter · #3 · Apr 7, 2009

Doc said motor development, specifically walking and waving...

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Roar

· #4 · Apr 7, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunasophia

They want to send an evaluator from the State out to my home for an assessment. The last thing I want is some stranger forcing my DD into a "training" routine to get her on track. My biggest fear is destroying her self worth with unnecessary demands and expectations and ruining her childhood and her nature. What if she is just a slower paced person? What if she is fine and then I start her on programs that inhibit her true nature and growth pattern?

.

With all due respect, many of us here have had kids in therapy early and they have not had their self worth destroyed nor their childhood ruined. Therapy for our kid was mostly like a playdate with someone who had unlimited attention span and enthusiasm. It is quite possible to recognize a kid could use some help and support without "inhibiting true nature."

Late for walking is more than 18 months so no 13 months isn't late. There are intermediate steps like being able to be in a supported or independent stand, cruising, etc. I'm wondering if the doc more saw something that isn't just about milestones - like for example problems with muscle tone.

Honestly, I'd just get the eval and see what they say. I'm guessing from what you posted more than likely you'll find out there is nothing to worry about and you'll feel better. If they do identify some delay you'll get help. So, it is a win-win situation.

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sbgrace

· #5 · Apr 7, 2009

Don't fret over the evaluation or therapy doing anything harmful to her or her sense of self. It's like play for kids. Fun. It's not therapy to her.

Motor skils wouldn't be my concern. The thing I see there concerning is her lack of non-verbal stuff. By 12 months she should be pointing and waving. That is a flag for autism though there are certainly other reasons. Does she respond to her name consistently? Does she show you things--hold up a toy and look at you to respond for example?

An evaluation can't hurt and will give you more information. The physician may have seen something concerning.

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Lunasophia

Discussion Starter · #6 · Apr 7, 2009

I did not mean to imply that all children are devalued by the experience of having therapeutic intervention, I just was voicing my personal concern from my own limited experience in such matters. It seemed to me that the type of evals that would be done and the type of therapies could become regimentary much like MCAS or other such standardized testing that do not take individual needs into consideration. I am probably quite biased and meant no disrespect for those whose children benefit from therapy and mine just might as well...

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sbgrace

· #7 · Apr 7, 2009

No it's not like that. The therapist might bring cool toys and engage your daughter in play to meet goals. It's play and interaction based.

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Lunasophia

Discussion Starter · #8 · Apr 7, 2009

Yes, she does respond to her name. Sometimes though she can go into a vacant stare for a few moments, not often and I have to call her back from her reverie. She doesn't really show me things...she loves to read, so she will pick out a book for me to read to her. She loves to stack things and destroy block towers that I make, though she doesn't make any herself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sbgrace

Don't fret over the evaluation or therapy doing anything harmful to her or her sense of self. It's like play for kids. Fun. It's not therapy to her.

Motor skils wouldn't be my concern. The thing I see there concerning is her lack of non-verbal stuff. By 12 months she should be pointing and waving. That is a flag for autism though there are certainly other explanations. Does she respond to her name consistently? Does she show you things--hold up a toy and look at you to respond for example?

An evaluation can't hurt and will give you more information. The physician may have seen something concerning.

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Amylcd

· #9 · Apr 7, 2009

She is well within the normal range for walking (I would not worry until 17 months). As far as waving, my daughter was around 15 months when she started. To me, your child sounds within the normal range for all of these things.

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Girlprof

· #10 · Apr 7, 2009

I agree with the other posters. It's hard to see anything to worry about from what you describe. On the other hand, maybe your doctor saw something? I would get the evaluation.

To ease your mind, let me tell you about how our therapy works. My own daughter started Early Intervention at around 11 months for a gross motor delay (she's now almost 15 months). She adores her therapist. Our therapist does not bring any cool toys but she does help us play with the toys we have in different ways. It would be pretty hard to get cooperation from a baby this age if the baby was not interested in cooperating. Our daughter's delay is pretty mild but we have still found EI to be very helpful. Indeed, rather than destroying her individuality, I would say it is helping reveal it as our daughter learns how to be much more mobile.

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Lunasophia

Discussion Starter · #11 · Apr 7, 2009

All of the posts are very helpful and your replies are heartwarming. My parents are pissed at the doctor for even suggesting a problem. I've got my Dad so fired up over this I have received more emails from him than I have in many years! I'll get the eval and see what happens from there and I'll let you all know what the results

Invariably, I will probably have more questions.

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