Would you butt in?

532 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by velochic, Apr 14, 2006

mythreesuns

Discussion Starter · Apr 14, 2006

There is a little girl at my ds's school that he claims is continuously calling him "ugly" and a "retard" and telling him that she "feels sorry for his family"
If it is not a rainy day, I walk down to get my kids from school. This girl is in his class, and I considered having him point her out, and saying something like "so Sean tells me you feel sorry for his family? Well, don't...he is a really great kid, and I am proud to call him my son"
He says she also kicks him in the shins out on theplayground. I told him if it was getting physical, I was going to talk to his teacher and maybe the principal.
Opinions?
They are in 3rd grade, BTW.

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RomanGoddess

· #2 · Apr 14, 2006

Quote:

I considered having him point her out, and saying something like "so Sean tells me you feel sorry for his family? Well, don't...he is a really great kid, and I am proud to call him my son"

Definitely do this. Mention all the other names, too (retard, etc.). My experience from talking to other moms in this situation is that once the parent of the victim talks to the offending child, the child feels very self-conscious and does not repeat the behaviour. I am told that this tactic works much better than going to the teacher or principal about it.

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sahli29

· #3 · Apr 14, 2006

Talk to the child and to the teacher right away. If you happen to come acorss the childs parent you could mention it to them.

Typically schools have anti-bully programs in place.If yours does not push to have one started.

The bully herself may need some counseling.Often children act out towards others when experiencing abuse or difficult times(for them) at home.

Either way your child has a right to a safe environment by law,and this abuse must be stopped immediately.Hope it gets resolved quickly!
Hugs to your son!

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Charles Baudelaire

· #4 · Apr 14, 2006

With all due respect, I think that what you are intending to say sounds less than effective here. Feel free to disagree, but I would be inclined to say something along the lines of, "In our society, it is not appropriate to insult others. If you continue to insult my son in any way, I will inform both the teacher and your parents. The choice is up to you. You get to decide when -- or if -- that happens."

But I do think addressing the child might work. I think somehow that kids think they are invisible, or something, and that what they do doesn't get told to other people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mythreesuns
There is a little girl at my ds's school that he claims is continuously calling him "ugly" and a "retard" and telling him that she "feels sorry for his family"
If it is not a rainy day, I walk down to get my kids from school. This girl is in his class, and I considered having him point her out, and saying something like "so Sean tells me you feel sorry for his family? Well, don't...he is a really great kid, and I am proud to call him my son"
He says she also kicks him in the shins out on theplayground. I told him if it was getting physical, I was going to talk to his teacher and maybe the principal.
Opinions?
They are in 3rd grade, BTW.

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velochic

· #5 · Apr 14, 2006

I think that at 8 years of age, you should get your ds's input first. Tell him what the options are and let him decide what to do. If you do finally decide to approach the girl, remember you should do so without intimidation. Come down to her level, have ds there and try to let him do the talking. It's easy to let the mama bear instincts to come through, but it sounds like this little girl has no "power" at home and finds it at school and it's good to remember this. Chances are, at home, she doesn't get to contribute her thoughts or opinions, so she's doing it at school. This is your chance to show her how loving AP parents can be.

Just my own take on it. But yeah, it does need to stop so that your son can enjoy school without bullying.

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