Would you enforce sitting while eating? And how?

856 Views 24 Replies 20 Participants Last post by delicious, Apr 14, 2006

Mommy Piadosa

Discussion Starter · Apr 14, 2006

Ideally I hate having children walk around with food. The bigger ones
were such good eaters and enjoyed eating so much- that all I had to do
was enforce that boundry- and 90% of the time they choose to sit and
eat rather then get up without food.
But this little boy...
He's 18 months and since he was a year he has hated his high chair.
He goes in it happily- maybe 1 time out of 10. If I try to put him in
it no matter how enticing the food- he arches his back and yells. I
got a booster and that worked maybe for a week. He wants to be on the
bench with the big kids. But he stands there and walks over to their
food (same as his) and gets into it or spills their drinks.
If I enforce a this is where Jesse eats boundry- which I do- he will
go for a whole day with no solid food.
Should I enforce this? Or let him sit / stand with his siblings? Or
let him walk around the house with it like he wants?
Dana

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octobermom

· #2 · Apr 14, 2006

At 18 months the rules was food and drinks at the table period. I didn't mind if my DD got up but the food stayed if she was hungry she needed to sit down and eat. We had her sit with us at meals and we slowly worked up so she could sit during a meal. We just made her part of the conversation sang songs whatever just in general made it enjoyable and in time she learned.
For him I might make a special place just for him a place at his level (coffee tables are good) where he may be able to "stand" have some movement but still have some boundries.
Deanna

Lazyhead

· #3 · Apr 14, 2006

around that age my dd refused the high chair too. i stopped trying at that point and would just keep her food at her little table. i don't like the walking around and eating either (not that we don't do it) so just tried to keep the food at the little table. now at age 2 she sits in a booster or in a regular chair and seems to like that ok.

alegna

· #4 · Apr 14, 2006

Sometimes I walk around while eating so I don't feel it's fair in enforce a rule that small people in my house must be seated while eating, but big people don't have to. So, unless it's something that's messy or a safety issue I let it go.

-Angela

octobermom

· #5 · Apr 14, 2006

We consider walking around or more likely running in a toddler world

a safety issue so we do say food at this one place.
ETA My DD is apraxia so that also makes a diffrence..
Deanna

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Brigianna

· #6 · Apr 14, 2006

If we enforced sitting while eating, I think my whole family would starve! We don't even eat meals regularly. Walking around while eating, or eating somewhere other than the kitchen/dining room won't hurt anybody. I would recommend a spill-proof cup though.

maya44

· #7 · Apr 14, 2006

No one in our house eats anywhere but at the table. That is the rule for all.

W

octobermom

· #8 · Apr 14, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brigianna
If we enforced sitting while eating, I think my whole family would starve! We don't even eat meals regularly. Walking around while eating, or eating somewhere other than the kitchen/dining room won't hurt anybody. I would recommend a spill-proof cup though.

Chances of choking are increased when a child walks around with food. Though grazing can still be done totally safe. If your fine with kids walking around with food thats fine but kids learn and adjust.

Deanna

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Brigianna

· #9 · Apr 14, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by octobermom
Chances of choking are increased when a child walks around with food. Though grazing can still be done totally safe. If your fine with kids walking around with food thats fine but kids learn and adjust.

Deanna

I think choking is a greater risk when they're moving, not necessarily walking. And as we all know, where toddlers are concerned sitting in place does not equal not moving! So I doubt there's much of a risk difference between walking around and squirming and climbing at the table.

And, sure kids learn and adjust, but why limit their freedom when you don't have to?

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slightly crunchy

· #10 · Apr 14, 2006

We didn't enforce sitting when my first was that little, but started to enforce sitting at supper around age 3.5...otherwise, for snacks, breakfast, lunch he can stand/walk while eating, but has to stay in the general dining area.

Basically, for me it boiled down to, what I could physically clean up twice a day. I don't use pesticides in my home, so toddler walking around with food all around the house=BUGS. I know I can keep the kitchen and dining area clean, so food stays there... The main reason we started having the expectation to sit at dinner, was that he was taking like 2-3 hours to eat his dinner every night; would keep getting distracted and getting up from the table...which ran into bedtime, etc. And he would keep going back to it if we tried to put it away. So we started saying that when we get up from dinner, we are done, and each clear our plate. If he starts running around we remind him that once he gets up, he is done.

I think for an 18 month old, I would let it go, but that's me. Both my kids have refused the high chair. I'm still not sure why I own one.

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octobermom

· #11 · Apr 14, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brigianna
I think choking is a greater risk when they're moving, not necessarily walking. And as we all know, where toddlers are concerned sitting in place does not equal not moving! So I doubt there's much of a risk difference between walking around and squirming and climbing at the table.

And, sure kids learn and adjust, but why limit their freedom when you don't have to?

Ohh don't get me wrong I'm not saying its bad just that IF one felt that this was a rule they wanted in their family it could be done. Family meals are important here our DD has always sat with us. She really knows no other way.
ETA - shes older now so yes we do say sit with us and eat, we just don't make a huge battle if she doesn't. Our rule is food stays at the table, she is free to get down and do whatever but if hungry she needs to come and sit down. Its not limiting her freedom.
Deanna

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LoveBeads

· #12 · Apr 14, 2006

I always had my DD sit when she was eating - I always felt that it was a definite safety issue and a hygiene issue (and a "the dog will get it" issue

).

I had a dear friend who did NOT enforce this with her DD and it was an absolute nightmare when her DD would come to my house because she wanted to drag food all over the place.

I think this is one of those issues that has no wrong or right answer, whatever works for your family is the answer. But keep in mind that whatever you teach your children will be repeated in other homes where the rules might be different.

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Montessorimom8

· #13 · Apr 14, 2006

I think I'd keep him in the kitchen, but put him with the big kids - definitely!!! He feels he is missing out maybe and maybe they will be a good influence on him? I'd also make expectations low - sitting for the main meal for a few minutes then maybe a few minutes of walking around and then back to the table for dessert if you serve it.

writermommy

· #14 · Apr 14, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by maya44
No one in our house eats anywhere but at the table. That is the rule for all.

W

This is the rule in our house too. DH and I follow the rule and eat our food at the table too.

The4OfUs

· #15 · Apr 14, 2006

I'm not sure what I'd do if I met resistance to sitting at the table. DS has always sat in his high chair or now in his booster seat at the table with us for our whole meal, and never has resisted or made a stink. For me, it's just what we do. We enjoy the togheter time at the table, talking about our day with DH, and he with us. I think it also helps that we're total foodies, even DS.

Soo, I'm not much help, but it's an intresting question to think about, in case #2 is not as much of a foodie as the rest of us. I'm not sure what I'd do, but I do know I wouldn't forcibly strap a kid into a seat for mealtime...I would probaly just ask for any and every alternative solution anyonehere has ever used, and see which one worked for our family.

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crl

· #16 · Apr 14, 2006

Our rule is bottom on your chair if you are eating. DS is nearly 3 and has a tendancy to stuff way too much food in his mouth (sensory integration issues). So I want him where I can see him while he is eating to make sure he doesn't choke. I've rescued him twice by scooping food back out of his mouth--this was when he was much younger. I also want the food to stay in the kitchen for clean-up purposes.

DS is allowed to get up and leave the table as long as he does not have any food in his mouth or hand. He can come back and finish eating later although I do eventually declare the meal over by telling him he has to sit and eat or clear his plate from the table.

By the way, we have a kinderzeat which works really well for DS. He can climb in and out on his own without tipping it over, but he is at table height for eating--also has a foot rest. It is completely adjustable for height so he'll be able to use it for a long time.

Just how we do it,
Catherine

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PumpkinSeeds

· #17 · Apr 14, 2006

I think it's physically impossible for my 4 yo son to sit still period. His food stays at the table and he runs back and forth for bites. Sometimes he will sit and eat but only if he's reading.

The 2yo eats at the highchair everything I'm not willing to clean off the floor (like peanut butter and jelly or squishy/wet/greasy things).

veganf

· #18 · Apr 14, 2006

We eat sitting at the table for meals, and sitting on the couch or at the table for snacks. Unless of course I am eating something and they come over for a bite (ie. if I'm sitting on the kitchen stool by myself). If it's more than a cracker, then we usually sit, or we're done eating. When we're out somewhere else, I don't care wheat happens, unless if course it's at a restuarant, then everyone definitely stays seated.

- Krista

kewb

· #19 · Apr 14, 2006

In our house you can get up from the table but the food stays. Both kids caught on in a reasonable amount of time that you eat at the table.

j924

· #20 · Apr 14, 2006

Have you tied a Little Tikes table. They have really little ones that fold. My day care kids come from all over the sit while you are eating spectrum and they all really love the tables. I use them for my ds (2). He can get up and leave whenever he likes, but he leaves the food. It helpes him just to know he can leave. Restraints(high chair, booster etc) just made him nuts.

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