[vermontgirl]

My husbands family are HUGE meat eaters and i dont agree with that lifestyle. However, i usually go to their barbeques for the social aspect and i bring vegetarian food for myself.
Recently they had a pig roast and i refused to go. I didnt feel like it was proper representation of my beliefs to attend an event that is all about the pig roasting in the pit. Some people were annoyed with me that i didnt go because they felt i should go to spend time with family.
Would you have gone to the pig roast even thought it is against your beliefs?

 

[appifanie]

i'd love to say that i wouldn't go, because YUCK, but DH's work is having a big social animal bbq thing this weekend. I agreed to go because he wants me to meet people, but I am fully prepared to leave early.

wish i had a "powered by tofu" shirt or some such.

 

[leximom]

yes, I would. My family is still important to me even if they still eat meat.

 

[menudo]

Do you realize (2 PP) what a pig roast is? The actual pig-entire body-being cooked. As a meat eating child I saw it on tv and cried for hours. It is a horrible site-even for many meat eaters.

So I would so understand skipping it.

 

[Awaken]

No way. Of course we all go eat at people's houses or go to events where people are eating meat, but going to something that is focused on a big dead animal cooking in front of everyone, no way. Fortunately my dh would be even more against it than I am, even if I were inclined to go to be polite!

My friend has a horse-racing party (they watch the races on tv) every year and I just can't bring myself to go- fortunately each year I really have had other plans!

 

[PikkuMyy]

I wouldn't go either.

 

[thunderkitty]

I would say a better idea would be to invite them over to try some of your foods you like (and I'm just guessing) but, lets say grill up some meat alternatives (like patties and dogs) and then make your versions of things they may be used to like cold salads and fruit. You could even suggest they bring some corn or things that they wouldn't find confusing to convert so they could more comfortable with it.
Oh and if it were me I'd say no thanks I'm going to stay home and make my own roast, nut roast that is!

 

[cmb123]

Absolutely, positively not. And no one who cares about me at all would even invite me.

 

[runes]

no, i would not go.

i draw the line at going to steak houses with dh's friends and family. i'm not happy about it, but i also want to be social so i go. luckily, most steak houses have great selections of salads and i'm also happy with some of the side dishes that they have (roasted asparagus, mashed potatoes etc.)

but an event where the main activity is the roasting of an entire pig?

no.

 

[mothragirl]

i've been to one. it smelled bad, but didn't bother me too much.

 

[rainbowmum]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmb123 Absolutely, positively not. And no one who cares about me at all would even invite me.

:

 

[mommastar]

You could always go and try to convert some people into vegs! lol Seriously though i dont know that would be tough, I dont judge others for eatting meat and its social so i would probably have gone...I dont want to dis family and friends just cus of my beliefs ya know, but they should respect how you feel too.

 

[richella]

I have been on both sides of this issue. When I was first veg I was very strict and wouldn't eat with meat eaters, wouldn't allow it in my house. I chose to loosen up--largely for social reasons. That was over ten years ago and these days the ILs buy us carry-out regularly (we have a home based business and it's really better if we have them over here vs going out) and I find myself cleaning up their chicken bones after they leave. I feel I can't complain because they do so much for us, but it's starting to bother me. I guess I feel that they don't bother to pay any respect to me unless I demand it. that's just not the kind of relationship I want to have with family. Besides FIL is very neurotic about food -- has to eat on time or he gets anxious, has to have meat or he thinks he hasn't had enough, etc. I wonder why he's the neurotic one but everyone else has to make the adjustments?

Well, to get back to the question. I can see myself going to a pig roast, or I can see myself taking a shift at work (if I had a job) or doing something completely different but the kind of fun I actually enjoy, and figuring that if the family wants me that badly they can care enough to organize an event that wouldn't be blatantly and gratuitously offensive to me.

I guess I'm feeling militant, I can't stop . . .

I don't go to church in my Zeni Geva shirt with Jesus as a pig on a cross, and I don't paste up porn images all over the walls before I invite over an advocate for battered women, I wouldn't pressure a veg to come to a pig roast. At the very least they should apologize to you for having it at all! So there!

 

[scoobers]

Absolutely not. I think it shows quite a bit of indifference to your feelings that they would even invite you.

 

[jadzia's_mommy]

I know I couldn't handle it. Once at my office, they had a pig roast. I didn't go, but then posted photos of it in the lunchroom. I teared up and asked the guy who posted them if he'd take them down. He did and apologized. But I know if I couldn't even deal with the picture then I would definitely NOT want to attend the real thing.

 

[MomToRose]

Absolutely no way would I go, nor would I allow my children to go. And no one among my family or friends would be surprised in the least.

 

[UnschoolnMa]

I go to BBQ's where people are cooking and eating chicken and beef. I just bring my vegetarian foods and all is well. But I have to say that it would be extremely difficult to see an entire, intact pig being roasted. I don't think I could do it.

ETA: My decision not to attend an event where there is a whole pig with a face and everything being roasted would only be about me, my limits and comfort level. It wouldn't be an attempt to punish the others for eating meat, or an attempt to stop then from eating a pig. What other people eat isn't my deal, and my being a vegetarian is only about me. Just wanted to toss that out there in case it sounded like I was being all high n mighty on my veggie throne lol. We dine with meat eaters often enough.

 

[tlcdoula]

When I was a vegetarian I did go to social events and would bring several veggie dishes. It was a nice way to introduce my family members to a vegetarian diet.

My family members will always be my family members and there will always be something that I don't agree with 100%. I accept and love them regardless and I hope they do the same with me.

 

[amcal]

First off, I'm not vegetarian. I'm slowly trying to work my family in that direction. We're not there yet but we're making great progress!

Back to the original question, unfortunately, meat is all around us. I'd find it hard to say I wouldn't go to a pig roast but I'd go to a restaurant where meat is being grilled in the kitchen. Just because I can't see it doesn't make it any more acceptable than a pig roast. If you're willing to go out to public places where meat is being cooked and served, personally, I'd think it was a bit hypocritical to refuse to go to a family member's house because meat is being cooked and served. Granted, a whole pig on a spit is about as extreme as you can get but, meat is meat. Now, if you avoid all restaurants or public places where meat was being served, then, I'd say you have a pretty good arguement for not going.

That being said, I'd find a pig roast pretty repulsive - vegetarian or not. But, I'd probably still go because family is hugely important to me and I'd just try to avoid the BBQ pit.

 

[LavenderMae]

I would go to a regular bbq but no way would I go to a pig roast. I do not want to see nor have my children see a whole dead pig being roasted. I just don't think I could handle it and I know my kids couldn't.