i agree with pp that yelling is not a good idea. Your results have already proven that.
I get the feeling from your post that you tend to think your dh is not a very effective parent. I also get the feeling that emotions might tend to run a little high in your family. Yelling at the kids, yelling at each other and threatening each other in front of the children are all very bad ideas.
You and your dh need to have a sitdown without the kids, and talk about emotion and respect. As the previous poster also said, use I statements to express your feelings, not to blame each other ("I feel like you are a crappy parent" is not the proper use of an I statement). Allow your partner to vent without reacting emotionally. If this proves impossible for the 2 of you to do alone, consider a marriage class or counseling.
To answer your question, no. I would not have yelled. Derek never yells. I don't yell at him. I do sometimes yell at Ben, but I recognize that it is wrong, and I'm working on correcting it. Derek is an extremely watchful parent (actually quite restricting), and would never let Ben out of his sight (I would be the one to do that), but if he did, i would not assume that he wasn't paying attention, or didn't notice. I would be more likely to grill him to find out how he had let it happen.
We did have an incident last summer. I was at a pool party with Ben, who was 18 months old. I was allowing him to toddle around on the pool deck while I stayed in the pool at the edge in front of him. As Derek was walking up, he saw Ben, didn;t recognize him and began mentally cursing the negligent parent who would let a toddler out of arm's reach near a pool. He was pretty pissed when he got closer and saw that it was me who was risking the life of his child.
He didn;t really say very much at that time. I could see that he was upset, but he only asked me to stay closer to ben. I grew up on the pacific ocean, was a lifeguard and taught children's swim lessons. I'm a bit more comfortable and cautious around the water than he is, but I felt safe and he did not. Later we talked about it. If he had yelled at me, I would not have yelled back, but I would have been humiliated, especially because I did then, and do now believe that I was right. I don;t think I would still be with him if it happened more than once or twice.