[Voltige]

I'm really torn. My first labor was only 5 hours and relatively easy. Only my DH and the midwife were in attendance (used a birth center) and I didn't need anyone else. I preferred to be left alone for the most part and lie on my side for contractions. I either slept or nearly slept between them.

I'm considering one this time because I could have a very short labor- and DH works 2 hours away. I also have our son to worry about- getting him to his support person/making calls, and knowing that I have hired help is somewhat reassuring.

BUT, with a possible very short labor it's also possible that even a doula might not make it in time to help, right? How much support could she be if I have a 2 1/2 hour labor, and she arrives an hour into it?

I'm just not sure. Torn really. And this was a major issue with DH the first time around, so I'm hesitant to mention it again unless it's something I really want/need.

Help me work through this?

 

[AmieV]

I think a doula could be immensely helpful in your situation, but clearly, I'm biased!

When I first started working as a doula, I thought the skills that were most important were the physical support that you often provide in longer labor. But having attended some precipitous labors, and just jacked up emotional situations in general, a doula that can "talk you off the ledge" so to speak is just as valuable as one who busts her hump at a 24 hour labor. Especially speaking from personal experience, I hit an extremely rough spot in my last labor, and my doula (who is also my best friend) was so skilled at getting me to think about how to get through things one minute or one contraction at a time vs. getting caught up in "I can't do this, I can't do anything!" I think even arriving an hour into a 2.5 hour labor and providing great emotional support would be totally helpful. I guess it also depends on how you feel like you'll be handling a labor that short. I used to think short labors were easy, now I know they can be among the hardest.

Also, knowing you have your son to take care of and DH far away, I think the mental reassurance you might gain from hiring someone would be worth it even if she does very little labor support. Those last weeks can be really anxious and harrowing and anything you can do to get in a more relaxed head space is totally worth it IMO.

 

[Cuau]

I think I would talk to the doulas you are considering hiring and tell them exactly what you said here.

We may say yeah go for it, but if any doulas are really far away from your location it might not be a good idea. Also it sounds like you 'might' need help with your lo, then you need to ask them directly if they can help. Even if she makes it right before the birth, can she stay for a while with your lo a couple of hours postpartum?

 

[mamatolevi]

I would have a doula in every birthing situation.

 

[pinksprklybarefoot]

I didn't have a doula last time, but I went from planning a homebirth to planning a hospital birth and my homebirth midwife acted as my labor support.

I spent most of my labor alone, and even at the hospital I didn't want anyone talking to me or touching me. I can deal with labor the best when I jam introspective. So although I tossed around the idea of having a doula this time, I decided against it. I didn't want to pay hundreds of dollars for someone who may or may not help me.

We'll see if I made the right decision come July.

 

[twins+1]

I'd get a doula - I'm ecstatic to have a doula for this labor. Even a short labor is worth it, I think. Maybe you could write something into the contract if she can't get there in time or something?

 

[Voltige]

Thanks for all the thoughts. I think I might just need to contact a few doulas in the area and discuss the situation. That might give me a better feel for how it might go down- short labor or not. Of course, I still need to get DH on board. That might be the major issue here, unfortunately.

 

[XanaduMama]

It sounds to me like what you really need is potential help with your son. Personally, I could have used a doula for my hospital birth with #1, but the second time (HB), I really was fine on my own...didn't even need dh all that much. I guess I'm a pretty private person in general.

Do you have family or friends around who could be your emergency call to come over and help if necessary?