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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
There's a woman in our kindermusik class who has a 2-year-old and a 2-month-old, and another woman who just had a baby and also has a 2-year-old. the grandma of the newborn was talking about nursing with this other woman, and how her daughter had only nursed 4 months the first time because of mastitis, and really wants to go one year this time. the other mom was like, "oh, not me! i nursed him 18 months but i'm only going 3-6 months with this one. i started giving formula 2 times a day at 3 weeks so i could leave him. and after about 8 months, it's too hard to wean them because they get so emotional about it."<br><br>
i actually left the class after this, partially because it really upset me and partially because dd wasn't having any fun anyway. oh, and while she was speaking i was sitting directly in her line of sight nursing my 23+ month old. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
how can someone nurse their first child into toddlerhood and then totally screw the second child like that? what kind of thinking is that? what mentality brings you to that point?
 

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My guess is that she just doesnt want to go "down that road again"...kwim? not that is right, of course.<br><br>
Mostly i hear that women wish they would have nursed longer, but maybe breastfeeding in and of itself wasnt the problem, but the weaning process was hell (and havent we had more than one thread devoted to that topic!) and she wanted her body back sooner.<br><br>
I always found it hard not to give in when my child would be so happy when he or she realized i was topless. and when i would put them to my breast and they would smile and gurgle and just love it, i found it hard to say no and wondered when in fact was the right time to say so, to set limits (i mean, they were eating happy meals for Gods sake, scrambled eggs and chicken!)....kwim?<br><br>
If i could do it over again, i swear i would do it for a very long time.
 

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That's sad. Hopefully she was just mouthing off and when the time comes, she'll think differently.<br><br>
But even if she does intend to really do it, why couldn't she just shut up? I mean, that's a really unsupportive and irrelevant thing to say in that context. Both to that grandma and to you. Sometimes you just wish people wouldn't 'share' everything on their minds.
 

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that is so sad <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> poor baby.
 

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Wow, that's the first time I've ever heard of a woman saying she would nurse for a shorter period of time with the second child. Very bizarre and very sad. Sounds like she really doesn't enjoy being a mom very much and is feeling overwhelmed with the craziness that comes with a toddler and a newborn. I wish she had found a support system that would have helped her to maintain the nursing instead of ending it. She may discover all too quickly that the advantage of gaining some "freedom" may come at all sorts of other costs.<br><br>
Sorry to drift OT, but I'm having my own issues with Kindermusik as well and have almost walked out of several classes. I have a mom/daughter pair in my older daughter's class and the mom is a nut. One minute she is hugging her daughter and the next minute she whacks her. Any little thing that the child does to annoy her automatically earns the daughter a nasty comment or a hit. It is horrible to watch. And the little girl's behavior is pretty bad, as a result. She is very needy and does her best to gain all of the attention during class. I feel so sorry for her and hate that my daughter is having to witness such pathetic mothering.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
you, know, it's actually the second time i've come across a mom who shafted the second child. when dd was new, an army wife came as an emmissary for the unit, and told me that she nursed her first son, but bottle-fed the second son from birth. she said she "wasn't going to bother with that" again, and her husband could be the one to get up all night! then she told me how she could really see a difference in her sons' health, because the second one was frail and sickly, and the older was healthy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br>
am i the only one who thinks "idiot" and other not so nice words when i hear these stories?
 

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There's a woman on another board I visit who nursed her second child for over a year and then got pregnant again. She was concerned because her ob/gyn told her that she would have to wean, but got several helpful responses about nursing through pregnancy, and ended up not weaning her little girl til the beginning of her third trimester. (I think her milk dried up.)<br><br>
Baby 3 was born and she announces that she just "didn't feel like nursing" this time around, so she starts with formula right away. Then, about six weeks later, she posts a frantic thread that she needs help urgently, she and her boyfriend are completely broke and don't have money to buy formula for the baby. She's applied for WIC but the benefits won't start for two weeks. What to do?<br><br>
I just can't tell you how angry I was, reading that post. A group of other people on the board started a paypal collection for her and I couldn't bring myself to donate. It's one thing to be unable to breastfeed; it's quite another to decide to formula feed because you don't feel like breastfeeding; it's quite another to choose to formula feed when you know you're not going to have the money for it. She had a free food supply source for her newborn and she just shut it down arbitrarily. And she wasn't just denying her child a higher IQ, a reduced risk of diabetes, and so on and so forth--she came darn close to starving her child because of an arbitrary and selfish decision. Aaargh! I'm getting upset all over again. It was just so, so, so irresponsible of her.<br><br>
(By the way, as it turned out, she was able to get on WIC the next day and the baby never missed a feeding.)
 

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n17moak!<br><br>
i have a friend who is pregnant, nursed her third to 10 mo, second to 8 mo, first a few days, but says w/ her 4th she might not bf because she feels so "stuck". her third is 13 mo and baby 4 is due this spring. 4 kids in 5 years.<br><br>
her extended family make her hide in another room when she nurses, and her h makes her cover w/ a blanket even in front of him.<br><br>
sad for baby...
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by gurumama</i><br><b>her h makes her cover w/ a blanket even in front of him.</b></td>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"><br>
That's really odd. Is her dh afraid of seeing her breasts?<br><br>
You really can't blame a woman like that for not wanted to bf. I mean if you have to hide even in your own home.<br><br>
That's crazy!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">and her h makes her cover w/ a blanket even in front of him.</td>
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Holy Sh*t! thats sick. whats wrong with people? In her own house, with her husband she has to cover up. With an attitude like that, i'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg. amazing she had 4 kids with him, i wouldnt let him near me!
 

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Wow, sounds like she had some serious negative issues nursing her first. Sorry that's all I can thing of. That just makes no sense at all.<br>
This is why I'm glad people don't say stupid stuff to me about nursing cause I would have definitly had to dig deeper with her to find out that level of thinking.<br>
I feel so badly about not nursing my first that I can't imagine FF another child without a REALLY good reason. I am sad to have weaned DD so early(15 months thanks to my supply drop during pregnancy) that this one will probably nurse through toddlerhood cause of my guilt.
 

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Here's one:<br><br>
I work for WIC and one of our nutritionists nursed her first for a year, her second for nine months, and her third for six months.
 

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I was at a party where a lady was there with her 2 week old second child. She was talking about how she hates nursing and "the count-down is on." She must've seen my startled look because she explained, "Six weeks is plenty. That baby'll be fine." She didn't even call the child by name or specify it's gender or anything. "That baby..."
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">the second one was frail and sickly, and the older was healthy</td>
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One thing that I think would be obvious is that Nursing mamas need to eat right!!!<br><br>
My sister-in-law wanted to nurse her baby and never had a good eating sense! She barely ate during her pregnancy with this one! After her delivery she wouldn't eat anything because whe wanted to start working on that "baby fat". <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Then she was wondering frantically why her babe wasn't gaining weight! Her LC (who got me on the right track after no milk for 12 days) couldn't figure out why he was losing weight. It was painfully obvious to myself and family (even my brother!).<br><br>
BF is about emotional health as well as physical health! Unfortunately some people just don't get that... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying">
 
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