Mothering Forum banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,450 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am so irked at my sister in law. We have been planning our dd's 3rd bday for a while now and have invited my sil and her boyfriend, among others. Dd wanted a picnic at a park at lunchtime. So, I am thinking that the morning of the party, we will be busy putting together picnic food and transporting it to the park and keeping dd busy and happy. I am sure dd is going to be very excited and friends will be coming over. It is also possible that we may have to have the party in our house if the weather is not good. So, that means we will also be cleaning during the am.<br><br>
The problem is my sil also wants to use that day to move furniture. We have been using a dresser that belongs to her for 16 years. It is part of one of her two bedroom sets. She has never had a use for it in all these years so we've used it knowing full well that someday she might want it back. It is currently in dd's room and it houses her clothes. Dd thinks of it as her dresser. Well, sil and her boyfriend bought a house together a few months ago and now she wants the dresser back. She is willing to swap it with another dresser she does not want. (don't ask me why she does not just use the dresser she has - she is impossible to figure out). And, sil wants to do this dresser swap in the morning before dd's bday party. Sil is notoriously late and always underestimates how long it will take to do things so we told her no. And, we have nowhere to put the clothes in it other than dd's bed so we would have to unload the clothes right before the switch and then put them all away in the new dresser. The other reason we said no is that dd thinks of this as her dresser and is likely to get upset if it is taken away. We don't want to ruin her birthday. We have told all of this to sil and she is now mad at us because that is the only day she is available in the next few months to do this switch. She is very busy! (And, we aren't? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Are we being unreasonable? Isn't it just totally selfish and ridiculous of sil to expect us to move furniture in the am before dd's party?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
151 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>boongirl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
Are we being unreasonable? Isn't it just totally selfish and ridiculous of sil to expect us to move furniture in the am before dd's party?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
No, I don't think you are being unreasonable, but I think she is. She hasn't needed the dresser in 16 years so why is it so urgent now ? She sounds very selfish.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,130 Posts
ITA totally selfish. sounds like she's wanting attention that day b/c the focus is on someone else. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,450 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you! It is nice to hear someone affirm your attitude. Sometimes she is so off the wall selfish that I think "well, maybe it is me." I am glad you think it is her. She just drives us soooo nuts.<br><br>
And, by the way, she is a perfect example of why attachment parenting is sooo important. She was basically left alone quite a lot as a baby and small child, fed herself with a bottle, put herself to sleep. Serious attachment disorder, I think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,237 Posts
I think she is unrealistic to want to do it all that day before the party. Some people just don't think!<br><br>
Could she just drop off the dresser she wants to swap that day so you can work on it when you have time (get your dd used to the idea & move the clothes) and then when you are ready you can drop off her dresser or tell her to come pick it up?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,362 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>onlyzombiecat</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Could she just drop off the dresser she wants to swap that day so you can work on it when you have time (get your dd used to the idea & move the clothes) and then when you are ready you can drop off her dresser?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I think this is a great idea. How far away does SIL live from you? Do you have a car big enough to take her dresser to her after you've made the switch (in the days after the party)?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,216 Posts
If she really must have it that day, why not just do it after the party? She is being a bit unreasonable IMO.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,450 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>onlyzombiecat</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
Could she just drop off the dresser she wants to swap that day so you can work on it when you have time (get your dd used to the idea & move the clothes) and then when you are ready you can drop off her dresser or tell her to come pick it up?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Well, that is actually a good idea. I had not thought of that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
485 Posts
Hmm...that IS a good idea...and maybe the "new" dresser could be worked up as a birthday surprise, ie. dress it up with ribbons, put a new article of clothing in it, or a birthday gift to discover inside...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
127 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kkiolbassa</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">No, I don't think you are being unreasonable, but I think she is. She hasn't needed the dresser in 16 years so why is it so urgent now ? She sounds very selfish.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I agree.
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top