[Rigama]

Hey all!
Here's the issue. I have a great guy friend, whom I've been friends with for nearly 15 years. He lives way out of state and I haven't seen him in about 7 years. He's coming to our town at the end of the month for a convention and wants to get together for dinner while out. I mentioned it to dh, and he is soooo super fine with it. I invited him along and he said he doesn't care if he comes or not but thinks we'd like to catch up alone. I know, I'm really lucky he's not jealous.

The problem? My friend and I have had been intimate in the past. Only one night, 7 years ago, and nothing ever ever came of it-though I think we both hoped something would. I know I've told dh about him, but I'm not so sure he remembers. I'm not worried that my friend or I will act inappropriately-that is a non-issue. But I don't know if I should remind dh of that history or not. I don't want to be deceptive and I want to be very sensitive to his feelings. I don't think that he'd change his mind about getting together if he was reminded, but I also don't want to tell him, have him feel bothered, but then pretend it's fine when it's not, yk? So, what would you all do?

 

[marlee]

I wouldn't mention it again. There is no reason to remind dh of people you have slept with in the past just in case he has forgotten. I sounds like he trusts you and wouldn't matter anyhow. Enjoy your night out.

 

[Unoppressed MAMA Q]

Quote:

Originally Posted by marlee I wouldn't mention it again. There is no reason to remind dh of people you have slept with in the past just in case he has forgotten. I sounds like he trusts you and wouldn't matter anyhow. Enjoy your night out.

yep.

 

[alaska]

i see no point whatsoever in reminding him.

 

[mommystinch]

I agree that there is no need to remind him. In fact, it might come off as you warning him that you are going to do something, you know?

 

[mommasuz]

I think if you remind him then he'll think about YOU thinking about it, kwim? Have fun at dinner!

 

[Rosedotcom]

Ditto to the previous posters. Also you are so lucky to have a H that isn't the jealous type. Give him an extra hug! My XH was and he never had one reason to be. I got blamed for things his ex girlfriends did.

I guess you have what you call a "normal" relationship.

Have a good time!

 

[willibug]

I, too, see no reason to say anything further to dh. Enjoy your night out with your friend, and appreciate what a good husband you've got!

 

[Earthy Mama]

Are you sure that dh forgot about it? It's seems unlikely that men can forget who their partners have told them that they've been with. I think it's very cool that he is so trusting of you!

 

[whateverdidiwants]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Earthy Mama Are you sure that dh forgot about it? It's seems unlikely that men can forget who their partners have told them that they've been with.

My dh can't remember who I dated and who I've always been just friends with, so I've given up on reminding him. Like a pp said, it just makes him think about why *you're* thinking about it. I have friend that I went out on 2 or 3 dates with 15 years ago and we've been platonic friends since, so to me that trumps whatever tiny romantic involvement we had.

 

[accountclosed3]

like others have said, if it's not at issue, then there's no reason to mention it.

 

[mamabearsoblessed]

Quote:

Originally Posted by marlee I wouldn't mention it again. There is no reason to remind dh of people you have slept with in the past just in case he has forgotten. I sounds like he trusts you and wouldn't matter anyhow. Enjoy your night out.

ITA.

 

[Rigama]

Thank you ladies! I really wasn't sure how to proceede with this, and it's nice to have some input.

I'm pretty sure he's forgotten that I've slept with him. Dh loves me, but he has a crappy memory for things-and he's never even met this friend. Heck, he's never even spoken to him!

Thanks again!

 

[BeanSprout Mama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by marlee I wouldn't mention it again. There is no reason to remind dh of people you have slept with in the past just in case he has forgotten. I sounds like he trusts you and wouldn't matter anyhow. Enjoy your night out.

ITA. No point in bringing it up again.

 

[Demeter9]

You've done your due diligence. Enjoy your dinner out.

 

[Yoshua]

I also see no point in bringing it up. He has been told before so I doubt he has forgotten and if he had any issues with it he would have spoken up.

I do think it is right of you to let him know of the plans well in advance so he can voice any opinions before hand though, but once he said 'have fun' that means he has no issues with it.

If you bring it up now he will start to wonder why YOU have issues with it though. And if you are positive nothing will happen then there is no reason to bring it up, and if something does happen on your 'friends end' it's not like you can't call a cab.

 

[Rigama]

Thank you, Yoshua. I was hoping for a guy's input!

My fear was that maybe he was waiting for me to "remind" him even if he does remember, and that if I don't maybe he'll think I'm being deceptive. But, he's not into playing those kind of games, so I don't know why I'm worried about it! My friend and I will be meeting for dinner, and I'll be driving my own car, so I won't be drinking anything. Just hanging out and catching up.